18 month old can only get to sleep with nursing

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I'm wondering if you try earlier, what might happen. I understand your dh's work and the late dinner, but I can't help wondering...

Is she getting enough (for her) opportunity for energy expending during the day?
Is she napping?
These can be factors in her nighttime habits.

You might check out Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, Sleepless in America. Has information on how much sleep each age range requires. Heard her speak on this subject in the spring, and it was fascinating hearing about the "window" that our children show us when they are ready for sleep, but we often miss it, and then it takes that much longer and more work to reach sleep.

I wouldn't worry about "habits." They (children) keep changing and moving on very naturally and inevitably

not much advice, but I have a 19 month old who only nurses to sleep, too. Haven't read NCSS, but massaging/back rubbing would not work for her, either. Sometimes patting her back will help during nightwakings, but most often she searches out the breast to fall back to sleep (and pushes my hand away if I try to pat or rub her back instead! ). I have noticed, in the last month or so, that she will (ocassionally) unlatch while still awake (drowsy, but awake), and then close her eyes and fall asleep. Which, for her, is a big change. In the past, she would have rolled around, flailed, cried, until she latched on again. So, I am seeing some change in her sleep patterns. Not a lot, but some.

My only suggestion is maybe an earlier bedtime? Maybe she's overtired and having a hard time winding down? Although I have a DH with an odd work schedule, too, so I'm guilty of pushing back bedtimes just so they have some Daddy/daughter time together in the evenings...

DD has a hard time with transitions, too, and even though our routine is pretty loose, it does help her to say "goodnight" to things--her toys, etc. It's really become a signal for her that it's bedtime.

All this to say, I understand and other toddlers are like yours. Definitely not alone!

toddler needs me...

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My 2 yr old does, without nursing or CIO. He just does.

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i'm not saying it doesn't happen, i'm just saying that it isn't a realistic expectation.

DS nurses to sleep at times and at other times he doesn't, it depends on what he wants to do. But if he needed to every night, I would do it. I guess I am not understanding why this is such a big problem. 18 months is just a baby still IMO, and maybe your DC needs that comfort.

You said in your post that your DC doesn't handle change well at all...weaning would be a bad idea then, along with the fact that 18 months is too young to wean a child IMO.

I wish you luck in finding something you and your DC are both comfortable with.

We've just started something new. Almost 17 mth old DS can only fall asleep nursing. DS nurses anywhere from every 20-30 minutes to every 2 hours or so all night and then there's a big glut in the morning that he nurses for about an hour or two right before we get up. My back is killing me with this much nursing. He comfort nurses and doesn't fully awaken to nurse, just reaches out, finds breast and inserts in mouth. If the breast isnt' there, he starts huffing and eventually wakes up and starts crying and looking for me. I started sleeping on my back and exposing the breast on his side so that in order for him to nurse, he has to slightly wake up and then prop himself up on elbows to get at the breast to nurse. He then will nurse until he either can't stay awake or realizes that it's just not worth it to have to be awake for soemthing he's not really needing and then he will roll over and go back to sleep. I know he's getting enough food during the day 'cause he eats 4-5 times and it's huge amounts (like an avocado in one sitting) so I don't feel like I'm depriving him of nutrition. We were attempting to night-wean b/c of me having to go back to work nights, but found that this would be a good intermediate step in that direction. There's no way he would ever be consoled by a pat on the back or anything. This has worked out really good for us so far in the last three weeks and i am finding that he is going to sleep a little more awake without as much nursing during the night.

Hope that possibly helps ya out.

Jen D.