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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
When we're someplace like the park and its time to go, DD runs pell mell from me as fast as she can, and wedges herself into some place where its practically impossible to get her out of without being a contortion artist. She's also really good at figuring out what is easy for her to get out of but hard for mama... for example, she'll crawl under a table, and if I crawl under after her, she's suddenly halfway across the room while I'm still banging my head on the underside trying to get out myself.<br><br>
Since she was 9 mths my strategy was this:<br><br>
1. I give her a five minute warning (e.g. "Hey, DD, in five minutes we're going to go to the car").<br><br>
2. I give her a two minute warning or try to make it tangible ("Okay, DD, after 10 more pushes on the swing it will be time to go").<br><br>
3. I try to tell her about how the next thing we are going to do will be fun, too ("After we get in the car, we're going to get a snack").<br><br>
4. If she didn't come (and she NEVER has) I say, "Its time to go! Looks like you need some help" and go and get her. Which usually results in a bit of crying, and me carrying her while whispering words of sympathy in her ear: "You were having fun! You don't want to leave!"<br><br>
Well instead of getting easier as she gets older its gotten harder. She's almost impossible to catch sometimes. She runs as soon as I start with the five minute warning. When I pick her up and carry her, she's been getting far more squirmy, kicking, and screaming, and I feel totally awful physically forcing her into her carseat or the ergo or the stroller.<br><br>
I have tried simply waiting her out until she is ready to go. She is never ready, and the longer we stay, the tireder she gets, and the tireder she gets, the harder she digs in her heels. If I bring her to the car or the stroller and wait until she's ready to get in either one, well, it will never happen. She is totally content to play in the car for hours (and has. I would sometimes bring a book to read if there was no pressure to be anyplace).<br><br>
What should I do? I'm afraid I'm not at all teaching her how to leave gracefully, and as she gets older she's going to be so much harder to physically redirect. Will this get better on its own or should I change my tactics now before I totally ruin her ability to transition (if I haven't already)?<br><br>
I should mention that its not all transitions. Its just the fun ones. But she finds almost all outings fun and rarely wants to leave anyplace. However, she would happily sprint for the car if we were in the dentist's office. But that's about the only time.
 

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I can relate to your situation definitely! My little guy is the EXACT same and we do a lot of the things you've mentioned.<br><br>
A couple other things that have worked:<br>
1. using an egg timer because then my 3.5 yo can SEE time - telling him 5 minutes was too abstract for him.<br>
2. offering choices (and trying as much as possible to not make them "threatening" choices) - so I'd say, "We're going to leave now. Do you choose to run to the car or skip? When we get to the car, do you want to listen to music in there or sing songs?"<br>
3. saying good-bye to the things/people we're leaving and talking about how it will be the next time we see them.<br><br>
I'm excited to see other suggestions people post!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Danaoc</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9068996"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I can relate to your situation definitely! My little guy is the EXACT same and we do a lot of the things you've mentioned.<br><br>
A couple other things that have worked:<br>
1. using an egg timer because then my 3.5 yo can SEE time - telling him 5 minutes was too abstract for him.<br>
2. offering choices (and trying as much as possible to not make them "threatening" choices) - so I'd say, "We're going to leave now. Do you choose to run to the car or skip? When we get to the car, do you want to listen to music in there or sing songs?"<br>
3. saying good-bye to the things/people we're leaving and talking about how it will be the next time we see them.<br><br>
I'm excited to see other suggestions people post!</div>
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Good suggestions those. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I'm not surprised things are getting harder-- it's the glory of 2.5! Have you read Louise Bates Ames' "Your Two Year Old"? Lots of great info.<br><br>
2.5's are very ritualistic. Do you think you could turn this to your advantage? Establish, with her help, an elaborate and perhaps silly ritual for leaving? Maybe a good-bye song or something?<br><br>
If all else fails, and you know she's gonna run, don't give her the chance. Easier said than done I know, but sometimes it's all you can do. Just pick her up off the swing after the tenth push--maybe let her know "Mama is going to give you ten more pushes, and then she's going to pick you up and carry you piggyback to the car and then we're going to go home and watch Elmo!" Maybe she's too young to handle the conflicting desires to please you and to play more. Eliminating the opportunity may be all she needs.<br><br>
I don't have many ideas, I admit. I would like to say that you sound like you're doing a great job. Toddlers are tough, and I admire you calm and patience!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Danaoc</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9068996"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I can relate to your situation definitely! My little guy is the EXACT same and we do a lot of the things you've mentioned.<br><br>
A couple other things that have worked:<br>
1. using an egg timer because then my 3.5 yo can SEE time - telling him 5 minutes was too abstract for him.<br>
2. offering choices (and trying as much as possible to not make them "threatening" choices) - so I'd say, "We're going to leave now. Do you choose to run to the car or skip? When we get to the car, do you want to listen to music in there or sing songs?"<br>
3. saying good-bye to the things/people we're leaving and talking about how it will be the next time we see them.<br><br>
I'm excited to see other suggestions people post!</div>
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I haven't done #1, but #2 and #3 have worked very well with DS (he's 28 months). I also have an 11 month old, so if we're leaving, I usually offer to let him push his sister back to the car ... or when we're at the pool, I tell him it's time to get "wrapped up" (he loves to get wrapped up in his towel). If I can offer him an alternative FUN thing to do, he usually gets on board pretty quickly. Sometimes he still gets upset, but it's definitely more manageable if I've given him warnings or have gone through some of the steps to smoothe the transition ... I just tell him, "It's okay to be disappointed that we're leaving, but we'll be back [insert specific time when we'll be back] and we'll have fun again." And when we get into the car, we recap all the fun things we just did ... but then I also try to focus on "what's next" (ie: we're going to go home and rest now ... or we're going to go see daddy now ... etc).<br><br>
My son has been a runner in the past (he still does it from time to time, but it's gotten better), so I know how you feel about chasing -- it's exhausting and extremely frustrating. I don't know if this will work for you, but have you tried the 1-2-3 thing? When DS would run away from me I would say, "DS, no running" and if he didn't stop, I would immediately start counting slowly and loudly. I don't know why, but by the time I get to 3, he always stops running -- or for that matter, he always stops doing whatever behavior he's not supposed to be doing. Once he stops, I thank him for not running. It's a wierd trick ... but it's worked for DS and for some of the other moms in my playgroup.<br><br>
I hope this helps ... hang in there!
 

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She's 2.5, she doesn't have to leave anywhere gracefully!<br><br>
Do you play chase games at the park? If you do that BEFORE it's time to leave, maybe she'll get the thrill of the chase out before it's time to go. For a lot of kids there is nothing more fun than being chased!<br><br>
I would also suggest that you leave EARLIER rather than later. You need to tell her "5 more minutes" when she still has a few resources left to handle the transition. This is usually about 20 minutes BEFORE I give my warning. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">. It happened again today. We went to a great park with a wading pool. The kids played in the water, on the play structure, and again in the water. About 4:15 I thought, hmm... we should head home, and said "In about 10 minutes, we need to leave." By the time we left, dd lost it. She wanted to play more. She wanted to go to the baseball diamond. She wanted to go down the slide again. Basically, she was so tired, she didn't know what she wanted to do. She just didn't want to go home! (Of course, she fell asleep in the car.)<br><br>
Our 3 year old is lousy at transitions, but she's getting better. The older she gets, the more she understands. On the way home in the car today, she said "I want to come back to this park again soon." and then later "I wish this park was in our neighborhood." She was able to express her disappointment at leaving verbally. She couldn't do that 6 months ago. That gives me hope that we will actually transition somewhat easily in a year or two.<br><br>
I also find it helpful to do a 5-3-1 warning -- there's something about the three times of repetition that help (not just 5-2).<br>
"5 minutes and we need to leave."<br>
"3 minutes and we need to leave."<br>
"1 more minute -- do you want to go down the slide again or down the fire pole before you leave?"<br>
"Ok, time to go. Let's go get the snack in the car."<br>
Pick screaming child up and carry out of park/walk out of park with sobbing child in tow.<br><br>
If she's still lousy at transitions like this when she's 5, then I'd worry. Until then, you've got a normal 2.5 year old on your hand. They are unreasonable and irrational at times.
 

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My littlest one (3.5) has a history of often refusing to leave places, not just b/c they're fun (though it is harder to leave the fun ones) but also just kind of on principle. She likes to be independent, autonomous, in control of her own self, making her own decisions-so she doesn't want to leave when I tell her to, she wants to decide.<br><br>
I do find that giving warnings helps, as does giving her something to look forward to. But hands down the most effective thing is for me to make it a game or give her a job. Let's race to the car! Can you get to the parking lot first? How about you hold the keys and unlock the car? Do you think you can carry this all the way there? And so on. Since she was 2, this is has been the best way to handle it. Doesn't always work, but it does often enough to reduce our stress considerably. (Now that she's 3.5 transitions have become quite a bit easier, it doesn't last forever.)<br><br>
And as Lynn said, I have found that it does pay to leave a bit earlier than I think we need to.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sledg</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9073169"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My littlest one (3.5) has a history of often refusing to leave places, not just b/c they're fun (though it is harder to leave the fun ones) but also just kind of on principle. She likes to be independent, autonomous, in control of her own self, making her own decisions-so she doesn't want to leave when I tell her to, she wants to decide.<br><br>
I do find that giving warnings helps, as does giving her something to look forward to. But hands down the most effective thing is for me to make it a game or give her a job. Let's race to the car! Can you get to the parking lot first? How about you hold the keys and unlock the car? Do you think you can carry this all the way there? And so on. Since she was 2, this is has been the best way to handle it. Doesn't always work, but it does often enough to reduce our stress considerably. (Now that she's 3.5 transitions have become quite a bit easier, it doesn't last forever.)<br><br>
And as Lynn said, I have found that it does pay to leave a bit earlier than I think we need to.</div>
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We have had a game she calls "bear" where I growl like a bear and she runs, screaming. She used to have no sense of direction and we could corral her into running towards the car, but now she's on to that. Also she likes to march, so sometimes we can march places, but is on to the trick of getting her to march to the car. Another game we used to play that was successful in getting her to the car or stroller was to play "obstacle course" along the way - with papa doing silly things like laying on the ground saying he was a crocodile she had to get over to get to the car then running ahead and being a horse, or a rock, or whatever. She won't play anymore, though, and runs in the opposite direction, and I've run out of ideas for new games. I don't think any of them would work, though. She knows they are all designed to help us leave.<br><br>
I know this is pretty normal behavior at 2.5, I guess I'm worried that instead of transitions getting easier, they are getting harder, and she's getter bigger and physically stronger. I'm worried that I'm setting things up to be really challenging when she's 4 or 5 or 6. Its like she's developed her OWN ritual in spite of my attempts to make a healthy parting ritual - her ritual is to run and hide and then scream when I catch her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sledg</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9073169"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">And as Lynn said, I have found that it does pay to leave a bit earlier than I think we need to.</div>
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This might be a good idea. I've noticed that we're almost always the last ones to leave, and I see other families come after us and leave before us. I guess I've been thinking if I can make it as long as possible maybe she will get bored and WANT to leave (never happens <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ). Plus I put off what I know is going to be an unpleasant experience. The last couple days she has been screaming particularly hard, and arching her back so that its impossible to get her into the stroller or carseat. I wish I could turn it around, make it playful, but I can't seem to find a good way anymore.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BellinghamCrunchie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9074476"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I know this is pretty normal behavior at 2.5, I guess I'm worried that instead of transitions getting easier, they are getting harder, and she's getter bigger and physically stronger. I'm worried that I'm setting things up to be really challenging when she's 4 or 5 or 6.</div>
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In my experience (ok n=2), 3 is the absolute worst age for transitions, and then things get substantially easier for them. So, take a deep breath and don't borrow that trouble.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BellinghamCrunchie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9074476"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Its like she's developed her OWN ritual in spite of my attempts to make a healthy parting ritual - her ritual is to run and hide and then scream when I catch her.</div>
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Sounds like fun to me!! But then I'm not doing the chasing.<br><br>
What would happen if you just walked slowly toward the car? Do you think she'd follow if she wasn't chased? I do this sometimes with dd. It's not a "goodbye, I'm leaving you here" kind of thing that I've seen some parents do, but rather a "I'm going home and I expect you to follow me" kind of thing. It works with dd. (OK, it also drives ds into a near panic because he thinks we're leaving her, and I have to go through him every time that (a) she will follow and (b) I would never leave my kids behind! But then, he's a worrier.) I just say "It's time to go." and walk slowly in the direction I need to go.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BellinghamCrunchie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9074476"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I know this is pretty normal behavior at 2.5, I guess I'm worried that instead of transitions getting easier, they are getting harder, and she's getter bigger and physically stronger. I'm worried that I'm setting things up to be really challenging when she's 4 or 5 or 6. Its like she's developed her OWN ritual in spite of my attempts to make a healthy parting ritual - her ritual is to run and hide and then scream when I catch her.</div>
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My take on this is that, well, she's 2.5. I noticed with my girls that around 2.5 a lot of things got much harder (my son is so mellow I can't remember a difficult age for him but if he had a "difficult" stage it was probably this same age). With my little one, definitely the time between 2/2.5 and oh, the last couple of months, was much harder than ever. It was at this age that she started flopping to her butt in the middle of parking lots, running away in parking lots, [insert obnoxious and/or scary behavior here] while we were going places. I wonder if it's kind of an "I'm older and know what's going on now and really want to be in control more than ever, I'm small and know I'm not in control but want to be" kind of thing. And so maybe she has developed her own ritual, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it'll get worse as she gets older. My little one seems to be getting better about transitions (and a few other difficult-for-mom things) as she gets closer to 4. (eta that you probably already do this, but for my little one I find that giving her more control in life wherever I can helps when it comes to those difficult times, helps her be more willing to do what I want her to do.)<br><br>
It does sound really frustrating, though. Wish there was a magic formula for this kind of thing. Goodness knows there are days I could use it.
 

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Thanks, mamas. I think you are probably right in that I am reading more into this than I need to and its just her age. I guess I'm borrowing trouble <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Wow! You guys are scaring me. DD just started having a hard time with transitions in the last month or so. She went thru a stage like this when she was much littler but got thru it much faster. Now it seems to be getting worse.<br><br>
Here is the kicker...<br><br>
DD is 22 months old. She is not even two yet. Holy cannoli, what am i in for? Will this pass soon?<br><br>
I hate forcing her into her car seat with everyone staring at me like I am killing my child. The fact is I am talking to her in a low voice and explaining we have to go now and she needs to sit her butt in the seat. I will admit to yelling a couple of times out of pure frustration. The first episode caught me so off guard that it took me 30 minutes to figure out how to get her into the car seat (while she was stiff as a board and not moving her behind one inch towards the seat). I really needed a nap after that day's antics.<br><br>
So I guess I will sub to this thread and see what everyone has to say. I am at a loss. Today I seriously told DD if she wasn't going to behave I wouldn't take her anywhere. I am considering staying home until this passes. At this point I won't take her out without someone there to help me get her back in the car.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut">
 

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I've sad it before and I'll say it again - 2.5 to 3 was my LEAST favorite timespan thus far with my son....old enough to really know what he wants and not be easily distracted, but not old enough to actually figure out solutions or listen to reasoning.<br><br>
I'm going to suggest you try something completely opposite, but I found it to be the case for us - if I gave him too much warning, he'd get so anxious about having to leave that it would just rev him up entirely too much. So, after figuring that out, our routine went something like this: When we got wherever we were going, I'd tell him we have to leave at X o'clock (I know he couldn't tell time, but the concreteness of that versus "a little while" was what he needed)<br>
-Just a couple minutes before X o'clock, I'd say, "It's almost time to go."<br>
-When time to go (which was actually about 10 min before I *really* had to go, so that I left wiggle room for problems) , "Pick one more thing to do and then we have to go to X". As he was doing his last turn on whatever, I was there physically waiting for him and would gently take his hand as he exited whatever it was. Giving him the opportunity of doing more than one more thing just made him anxious again.<br>
-"Alllllllright, do you want to fly to the car or be a dumptruck?" - since I was already right there next to him with his hand, it was easy to keep that momentum going. On the way to the car I'd ask him what his favorite thing was, and how we'd be back again soon.<br><br>
Now, this didn't always work out, and there were plenty of times I carried him under my arm after chasing him down. I guess my point is that for some kids, less is more. Doing lots of warnings, and making a big deal out of leaving by saying goodbye to things (unless it was his idea) often made things worse for my particular kid.<br><br>
I'd also second (or third, whatever number I am) leaving about 10-15 min before you think you really need to so that it's more likely they're ready.<br><br>
As a bit of encouragement, DS is 3.5 now - we were just at the playground this morning, I told him we could stay for an hour, then at 55 min I told him to pick one more thing and it was time to go. He slid down the slide where I was waiting for him, and he and I walked towards the car, hand in hand, with nary a protest in sight. Whew. I'm just glad I figured out what works best for DS. He's easily overwhelmed by too many warnings and choices about many things in his life.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lurk.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lurk">:<br><br>
my 3.5 year old has MAJOR meltdowns when it's time to leave places. it's so embarrasing and physically hard for me too as I have a 2yo as well! thankfully I have understanding (and helpful!) mama friends! I just wish I knew what I am doing wrong? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
The other day I found a trick that worked and that was asking him to bounce to the car when we were leaving. although the next day this did not work at all. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rainbowmoon</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9091564"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I just wish I knew what I am doing wrong?</div>
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You probably aren't doing anything wrong.<br><br>
A friendly rant.<br><br>
I've asked myself "what am I doing wrong?" a million times. Dh asks "what am I doing wrong?" Parents everywhere always asking "what am I doing wrong?" We torture ourselves. And we seldom seem to pause to ask whether it's possible that no matter how hard we try, no matter how good we are at this gentle discipline thing, no matter how much we learn, no matter how full of wonderful tools our toolbox is, no matter how thoughtfully we guide our children, kids will still have challenging behaviors. It's so easy to see the challenging behaviors as evidence of our shortcomings as parents, or as ominous signs of what the future holds if we don't nip it in the bud right now (or very soon). What if they're their own people, and despite our best guidance they will go through phases of difficult behavior and poor decision making? Do we really need to suffer from embarrassment and guilt, to question ourselves, when this happens? And yes, sometimes it's just so exasperating to deal with a long phase of behavior and we want to do something about it, but maybe we're already doing the right thing and it just takes time and we needn't torture ourselves by wondering what more perfect thing we ought to be doing.<br><br>
I'm learning to relax, and as I do I think more and more that I can guide, I can inform, I can put in my best efforts and over time my kids will learn. But right now, when my little one is sitting on the floor of the store and refusing to move for the what seems like the 73rd shopping trip in a row, maybe instead of wondering what I'm doing wrong I can just get through it (with the best modeling, guidance and creativity I can muster) and remember that she won't always be 3. And those people staring at us can think whatever they want.<br><br>
I'm not saying it isn't good to try to prevent things like meltdowns upon leaving. I'm not saying it isn't good to learn new ways of responding. I'm not saying it isn't good to keep getting creative. (And I'm definitely not saying we shouldn't guide our kids.) I'm just saying that I think that a lot of the time, no one's doing anything wrong. It's just that growing up takes time, guiding kids takes time. It's a process.
 

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thanks for your perspective sledg. I do appreciate it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I'm way too hard on myself and I let other's judgements,expectations get to me at times!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LynnS6</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9070028"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">For a lot of kids there is nothing more fun than being chased!</div>
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That's my dd....and when I read the OP, I wondered if my kid had been sneaking out behind my back. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sledg</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9091987"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You probably aren't doing anything wrong.<br><br>
A friendly rant.<br><br>
I've asked myself "what am I doing wrong?" a million times. Dh asks "what am I doing wrong?" Parents everywhere always asking "what am I doing wrong?" We torture ourselves. And we seldom seem to pause to ask whether it's possible that no matter how hard we try, no matter how good we are at this gentle discipline thing, no matter how much we learn, no matter how full of wonderful tools our toolbox is, no matter how thoughtfully we guide our children, kids will still have challenging behaviors. It's so easy to see the challenging behaviors as evidence of our shortcomings as parents, or as ominous signs of what the future holds if we don't nip it in the bud right now (or very soon). What if they're their own people, and despite our best guidance they will go through phases of difficult behavior and poor decision making? Do we really need to suffer from embarrassment and guilt, to question ourselves, when this happens? And yes, sometimes it's just so exasperating to deal with a long phase of behavior and we want to do something about it, but maybe we're already doing the right thing and it just takes time and we needn't torture ourselves by wondering what more perfect thing we ought to be doing.<br><br>
I'm learning to relax, and as I do I think more and more that I can guide, I can inform, I can put in my best efforts and over time my kids will learn. But right now, when my little one is sitting on the floor of the store and refusing to move for the what seems like the 73rd shopping trip in a row, maybe instead of wondering what I'm doing wrong I can just get through it (with the best modeling, guidance and creativity I can muster) and remember that she won't always be 3. And those people staring at us can think whatever they want.<br><br>
I'm not saying it isn't good to try to prevent things like meltdowns upon leaving. I'm not saying it isn't good to learn new ways of responding. I'm not saying it isn't good to keep getting creative. (And I'm definitely not saying we shouldn't guide our kids.) I'm just saying that I think that a lot of the time, no one's doing anything wrong. It's just that growing up takes time, guiding kids takes time. It's a process.</div>
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Wow. Can I print this out and put it on my fridge? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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