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I'm going thru a time with my 2.5 yr old. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
He has broken my 2nd pair of glasses by ripping them off my face and throwing them down on the ground. I have scratch marks on the backs of my arms from him digging into my arm when I'm holding him and he wants to go down. He throws things at me. He growls at me. He has also recently started biting me. He screams at a high pitch when he cannot have his way,so loudly it really sounds like he is injured. He has constant meltdowns over almost everything. My ds *is* pretty verbal,and he can,and does sometimes express his frustration,but it still doesn't lessen his meltdowns. He verbalizes by screaming at me that he doesn't love me,or yelling in my face. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
As for the giving a reason,it doesn't matter to him. I can explain why something is unnaceptable/dangerous/whatever the case may be,and he freaks even MORE. He will then scream at me,"Why you don't love me mom!?"<br><br>
Empathy,same thing. He gets more mad at me and asks me why I don't love him.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
I do try to give him acceptable alternatives,but when he has his mind set on one thing,alternatives mean nothing to him. Yesterday at the store he wanted to walk by himself (translation,he wanted to run away from me),and I gave him the choices of riding in the cart of being carried. He ripped my glasses off my face and broke them,then started scratching me while I was searching for my lens. That's how he felt about his choices.<br><br>
Then,other times,he is SO sweet,loving,and gentle,it's like he has split personalities. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/confused.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Confused">:
 

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Several thoughts:<br><br>
1. Is he getting enough sleep? sometimes frequent meltdowns are due to not enough sleep. He should be getting 12 hours a day. If he's not, read "Sleepless in America" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka<br><br>
2. Since he's very verbal, he might be past the pseudochoice stage already. Does he get "if... then" statements yet? So, in your situation, I would give him one chance - I would say "You can walk if you stay next to the cart. If you don't stay close, then I need to put you in the cart." That's different than the 'choice' you gave him - neither of which was what he wanted. What he wanted was reasonable, IF he stayed close. Your fear was that he wouldn't (reasonable, you know your son), but you never know, he might surprise you!<br><br>
3. When are you shopping? Is it possible to leave him home? My kids are great shopping at 10 am on a Saturday morning. They have a personality change just before dinner, so there is no way I would take them at 4 pm.<br><br>
4. Is he getting enough exercise? Are you feeding him on a regular basis? Our ds melts down if he is hungry. Our dd if she doesn't get enough outside time.<br><br>
5. I'd quit explaining so much. Give a brief simple explanation (I don't want you to run into other shoppers), and then just repeat the rule. I find that when I explain too much, my kids feel like I'm negotiating, and then they negotiate back!
 

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