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I have a 2 (almost 3) year old who hits me and his dad as a first reaction to being angry (and he typically hits in the face). It has been going on for months and I can't find anything that works. If he gets mad at one of his toddler friends, he yells. He really seems to have anger issues and it is killing me. He just recently (this week) started to make loud car noises when he gets angry. I am wondering if I need to see a child psychologist or some sort of professional who can teach me how to handle this without getting angry myself. Does anyone have any advice or experience with this?<br><br>
K!wi
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>k!wi</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10284486"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have a 2 (almost 3) year old who hits me and his dad as a first reaction to being angry (and he typically hits in the face). It has been going on for months and I can't find anything that works. If he gets mad at one of his toddler friends, he yells. He really seems to have anger issues and it is killing me. He just recently (this week) started to make loud car noises when he gets angry. I am wondering if I need to see a child psychologist or some sort of professional who can teach me how to handle this without getting angry myself. Does anyone have any advice or experience with this?<br><br>
K!wi</div>
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On another board I frequent, the idea of running the kid off to a shrink was met with a bit of offense. I don't think a psychologist is needed. You son DOES have an anger issue. It's called being two. I don't say this flippantly. At two, it is very difficult to express anger. Hitting is one of those ways. While it is not an acceptable behavior, it isn't an abnormal one either. IT is also normal for you to feel angry. It's an angry situation. When he hits, pick him up and take him to his room/time out place. Do not engage him until he is calm. If he hits/yells at a friend, take him home immediately. Do this every single time. When he is in his room/time out place, go have you're own time out if you must. Again, do this every single time and stay as calm as possible.<br>
You can also model and talk about appropriate angry behavior. Everyone gets angry. The problem comes when we don't know how to express it properly.
 

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I agree. Tantrums are a part of child development, but they dont have to last very long if you handle them properly. You just have to be extremely consistent. Dont say anything unless you are prepared and willing to follow through.
 

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I found this article on tantrums to be enlightening:<br><br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/articles/growing_child/toddlers/tantrums.html" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/articles/gr.../tantrums.html</a>
 

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my ds is three and has just started making a car noise when angry and stomping off.<br><br>
the response i've found to be the best is just let him go. he comes back in like a minute and is fine.<br><br>
as for hitting, he does that too. i've just tried saying, "i don't like it when you hurt me." or the animals don't like it when you hurt them. but what works best for us is for me to just move on to something else.<br><br>
my dh gets anrgy and frustrated and it *really* feeds into the cycle. when i just say, "well, that's your choice (to feel angry or stomp off or not want to be in the room or whatever...)" and it helps.<br><br>
after all, your child is responsible for his emotions, he just needs to learn how to deal with them. and the only way to learn to deal with emotions is to have them and work through them.<br><br>
good luck! at least he's not biting <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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I post this link all over the place.. but if it can help someone the way it helped us.....<br><br><a href="http://www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info/" target="_blank">http://www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info/</a><br><br>
There is a huge difference between when my 2 year old son has what I call "the angries" and when he is normal. Normal meaning, not affected by any natural food chemicals. He had serious anger problems, the tantrums would be back to back, all day long! The issue was not how we handled the tantrums, the issue was him... but it is no longer an issue as long as his diet is in check.<br><br>
I agree with the above poster, but not in every case. A person - especially a child - cannot control their emotions and reactions when they're <i>sensitive to and affected by food chemicals</i> It's worth looking into if you think your child is too emotional and you don't know what to do about it. Too emotional meaning, it affects his/her life in a negative way.. days and things just don't ever seem to go smoothly and are generally unpleasant because of the frequent tantrums.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br>
My ds was a completely different kiddo once we got him off of colors and flavors. Salicylates, too, which are present in apples, of all things. Of course, he still had normal two year old stuff, but he was utterly unmoveable when under the influence of this stuff. Even today, at 20 he says he doesn't like the way he feels when he drinks orange soda, thugh I must say, the symptoms seemed to lessen as he got older, or maybe just bigger. '<br><a href="http://www.feingold.org" target="_blank">www.feingold.org</a> is a very helpful site. It's worth joing, IMO, because they provide food lists, I believe by region, and also track down "hidden" troublemakers in foods.
 

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Yes, i think the way it works is the bigger your body is, the more salicylates it can handle (not compared to other bodies, but to it's smaller self) because they're less concentrated, since the problem is the build up and concentration. It's really wonderful to finally understand him, and for example sometimes when he'll have an insane 4 days we can say ok, someone ate something he shouldn't have, and by questioning people who have cared for him we can find out what happened. The babysitter got him fresh juice from the city one day!! 4 days later we had a little hellion on our hands... but we found out what was going on and that made it easier, rather than it being this mystery awful awful behaviour, and when you have one of these kids bad is bad.. your kid is the baddest of bads of all the kids you know <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
Btw. for emergency ingestions.. having some baking soda in water (like a teaspoon) helps, though my son won't do it at this age and so apparently do epsom salt baths.
 

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The first and most successful idea I have is to prune those behaviors in the kiddo. Even though it is quite normal for a 2 year old to behave this way, this is THE MOMENT in his life that you are laying foundations for later behaviors from him. My best success with kids and families thusfar with handling toddler outbursts is to turn away (if it's safe and in a location that's suitable). The kid thinks "wait, hit mommy, mommy goes away, no cookie". But I also think it's imperative to teach him the replacement behavior by practicing as well. Lots of "being gentle with hands" practice, I mean.
 
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