[purplevega]

My 2.5 year old has been super aggressive since he was 18 months old. I have tried timeouts, giving attention to the other child, removing my child, speaking to my son about his feelings/others feelings. I always point out that he has hurt so and so and that they are sad. He always rushes up to the persons and hugs them but will do the same thing over again in 5 minutes. I know some 2 year olds are like this, but I am at my end. I feel like a bad mom because I can not get my son to understand to be nice to others.<br><br>
He acts like this on and off, like phases. He had 6 very bad months where he attended no social functions because of his extreme behavior. We had him tested for sensory issues and it came back that he was fine but gifted. After a talk with Barbara Coloroso the author of "kids are worth it", we started to use a feeling book and lots of extra outside play. That helped and he was great for about 6 months. Then this last week he is back to be a bully. I am going to start using the feeling book but outside play is limited as it is 92 degrees at 10 am in the morning here and I am 6 months pregnant.<br><br>
Any suggestion would be wonderful. As I said I am at the end of my rope. I love my son so much but I am so sad and worried that he will end up being the class bully.<br><br>
Kim

 

[angie3096]

Two is VERY young. There is no way a two year old can understand empathy. Some young kids can be trained to act empathetically, but true empathetic understanding starts at about 5, according to our preschool's parent educator.<br><br>
Not that we shouldn't be teaching empathy this early--calling attention to other children's feelings and facial expressions is good, but it's just not realistic to expect them to really get it yet.<br><br>
I think you hit the nail on the head. "Some two year olds are like this". I can understand your frustration. I wouldn't like it if my child did this either. But I wouldn't worry that this is an indication that he will be a class bully. He's only two. I work in a public school and we have had a lot of training on bullying. What we are taught is this: children above 5 who are bullies either a) have parents who are bullies or b)have a developmental delay that has prevented them from developing empathy. A normally developing child with a caring, concerned, mother who teaches empathy and models caring behavior will not be a bully. It's unheard of. He's only two!<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
Angie

 

[purplevega]

Thank you so much for the support. After I posted this yesterday I took DS to a playdate. He was great. It made me feel so good and I am hoping that he will continue in choose kind behaviors to others.<br><br>
Kim

 

[heatherfournier]

Sorry I have no advice to give, but I completely understand what you are going through. I too have a 23 mth. old who is very aggressive and nothing seems to get through to him. I am 7 mths. pregnant and have the same concerns as you. I provide child care from home to two boys ages 2 and4, and my son is the most difficult one to handle. I'm really hoping it's just a phase!! I'm guessing we'll really have to watch them like a hawk when the babies arrive!! Good luck if I figure anything out that might help I'll be sure to let you know.

 

[DevaMajka]

I think Becoming The Parent You Want To Be has a section on dealing with bully type behavior. If you want me to check for sure, let me know and I will. I love that book for advice for toddlers and preschoolers!!