[kalisis]

I just don't know what to do.<br><br>
This just started today, but it breaks my heart.<br><br>
We go to a playgroup every week and there is a girl there who is a bit younger than my DS, but is just as big and twice as agressive. She really has it out for him, every chance she gets, she shoves him, hits him or pushes him into something. DS has been a champ and usually just says either "Stop!" or "No hitting/pushing!" and then comes to get me.<br><br>
But today, he started hitting/shoving back and then when I would remove him from the fray, he would start hitting himself in the head.<br><br>
It seems so NOT normal to me and I just want to cry. Why does he think he needs to hit himself? It's not like he gets hit at home, seriously. He thinks spanking is a game, not a form of punishment.<br><br>
I just don't understand and don't know what to do about it.<br><br>
Is he just going through a phase that he'll outgrow?

 

[Catherine12]

My dd has recently started hitting herself too. She seems to do it when she is upset, especially when she doesn't get what she wants. We also do not spank or hit, so it is very disturbing to us to see this. Maybe she is doing it because she knows it upsets us more than whining or crying does? I wish I knew... don't know how helpful this is, but at least you have company now <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> .<br><br>
Let's hope it's a phase... a short phase...

 

[kalisis]

Thank you for your response.<br><br>
It *is* disturbing to see and like I said, breaks my heart.<br><br>
He hasn't done it today, but it's been a relatively calm day with no other children around, so we'll see.<br><br>
I do hope it passes very soon.

 

[Blue Dragonfly]

My 19 mo. old DS went through that (along with biting, hitting others etc.) He learned about hitting from an older child too. It made me really sad and freaked me out.<br><br>
I am happy to say it only lasted about a month. I think he was learning about the whole hitting thing (he would hit his baby brother too) and I think part of it was the whole attention thing. He recognised that the hit child would get lots of attention.<br><br>
So when he would hit himself, I would say "no hitting G, don't hurt yourself, be kind to yourself".<br><br>
I also taught him to sort of self police. When he would start hitting - himself or others, I would say "what do we know about hitting?" "No!" he would say.<br><br>
So while it still happens occasionally - it has gone from an every day (often several times a day) to something that only happens every few days. I trust it will eventually go away.<br><br>
It will pass Mama.<br><br>
Hugs.<br><br>
R