[Jaimep]

Ok . I am sure this has been posted a bazillion times. If there are specific threads that relate, PLEASE point me in that direction.

My daughter is 23 months. She is super smart. KNows her colors, count to 10, about half her alphabet etc... I do know that doesn't mean she can control herself...she is only 2.

Lately she is becoming crazy!!! I stay home with her and give her tons of positive attention. BUt man....I feel like all I say is DOn't! Stop! NO!

She will jump on the furniture and jump off... So I get her down and say Gioia will get hurt, lets do something else. If I EVEN sit down (i am 7 months preg) she will try to climb on me and tromp on my belly. I say, that hurts mama, you can sit beside me. She SCREAMS and throws a fit. I try to let her help unload the dishwasher, she will try to climb it and throw a fit if not allowed. She throws a tantrum for almost everything. If I think I can appease her someway by distraction I do it. If it is something she is just NOT allowed to do (dangerous) I tell her I am sorry and just let her throw her fit. She cried and got upset because she wanted to climb in her carseat herself and I didn't know it today. Yesterday she would run over and grab the floor lamp and BANG it against the wall (intentionally)!

She naps everyday. For usually an hour. We go to playgroups a couple times a week and she does fine with the other kids.

I try to give her reasonable expectations and if she is acting up or trying to run away from me outside I ask her if she wants to go in the house, she says NO. I say ok then we need to play in our pool, stay in the grass, whatever the situation is. She can usually handle that, if she can't then about the second time we go inside and do something else. I am trying to be consistent.

I need some help on what I can do besides say NO or DOn't all the time.

 

[tug]

i don't want to overwhelm you with suggestions since you already sound a little overwhelmed (and, believe me, there are days with my 2 yr old where i am exactly the same) but we do two things that might help you feel more positive. one is that we use positive language. so, rather than saying "don't play with your food" we try to say (TRY being the operative word here) something like, "we keep our food in our bowls at lunchtime." also, diverting her attention. so, rather than, "don't jump on mommy," something like, "let's go for a walk" or "let's play stomp our feet together" or some other active activity to use her energy. i find with my 2 yr old that i need to get him out of the house mid morning for something really active or he will be going nuts by lunchtime. then, in the afternoon, i need another sort of activity also to keep him manageable. after dinner, we again either go for a walk, play in the baby pool we have, or take our bath. lots of activities throughout the day seem to help. i have found that walking him ten blocks to our local park takes a lot of energy and he loves it. it's a long, long, slow, slow walk but it keeps him and me sane. good luck and hugs!

 

[Piglet68]

great advice from tug.

also, maybe a change of attitude. tantrums may be really annoying to an adult (especially a pregnant one!) but they are merely expressions of emotion from a little being who really had no control over how they express their emotions. I think it's important that kids learn to deal with frustrations without being stifled. It's okay to have some limits and it's okay to enforce them and it's okay for her to get upset! Let her have her tantrum! Be sympathetic, but don't change the limit. Offer her hugs if she wants, or stand beside her and let her rip (making sure she doesn't hurt herself), but let her get it out. She'll eventually recover and she'll have learned a valuable lesson: I can handle disappointment and come through it okay.

I think sometimes we get caught up in thinking we have to "do something" about tantrums. I don't feel that way. It's really quite liberating, lol.

 

[Jaimep]

Yeah I think maybe the extra energy has alot to do with it. It seems like someone has feed her 2lbs of sugar some days... and we try to avoid sugar. LOL.

I will try the more active stuff and see if that helps. Also I know I need to work on my attitude, but sometimes it is really hard. We have a jumping balloon thing that we fixed the hole in tonight. SO maybe we will try that on a regular basis too. Plus we have a kiddie pool and such.

One thing that works sometimes ( I try not to use it TOO much), is I tell her we can do something, but she has to be a quiet girl. So when she sees that we ok...mama is getting me the cheese, but she wants me to quit screaming... she quiets down. I try to save this for church, in the car, things like that where the screaming/crying can get the most frustrating.

 

[Treasuremapper]

:LOL

She sounds adorable, like a bright normal active little girl.

I totally understand about her driving you crazy. I'm not making light of the stress you feel, but I am smiling so hard right now, thinking of this cute little creature, climbing into the dishwasher, etc. My own cute little creature was helpfully unloading the dishwasher while I was loading it, standing on the lowered door, etc., just this morning.

How do you pronounce her name?

I like the advice above, I'm gonna try some of that myself. My only other thought is that she sounds very smart, and she may be bored (no offense). She might need some more magic and fun in her life, like a big physical outing of some kind every morning.

 

[canadiangranola]

Is it possible that you are also more irritated than you would normally be b/c you are pregnant? Feeling overwhelmed, etc...but not only by dd? I only ask this b/c I am 26 weeks and I find myself getting pretty frustrated with ds as well (he's also quite advanced linguistically) and he's turning two next week.

I think a big part of it is that I'm tired and all I want is to put my feet up and relax for a bit (also b/c I know that new baby insanity is going to hit soon enough...I feel like I should rest now.) But with a super active toddler, it;s just not possible. Is it possible that she is feeling the change (mommy is preoccupied, talk of the new baby, mommy is tired and doesn't play as much as she used too...etc?) already, and is reacting to her perception that something is different?

I am not saying any of those things to make you feel bad or at fault, but just observations that I have noted in my own stage of mamahood/pregnancy at this moment in time.

One thing I have found helps me is to readjust my attitude/perception (which is infinitely easier than readjusting that of my toddler.) I am really trying to focus on enjoying the one on one time I have left with my toddler before baby 2 is born, and really trying to make all that I can of that time. So far, I find it's made a big difference in how I can respond to him, the extent of my patience, etc.

In any case, I hope you find something that works for you...even if it is just the knowledge and mantra of so many here at MDC..."this too shall pass....this to shall pass.

Peace mama