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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A house that looks exactly like the NICU...<br>
O2? Check<br>
Vent? Check<br>
Nurses? Check<br>
Pulse-ox? Check<br><br><br>
Dont get me wrong though... I am so happy that my baby is 2 and so proud of everything that he has overcome but really... how much has changed? He does not sit up. He has pretty good control of his head but still struggles with it. He can roll over and he waves and claps.. A few other small things and that is all. Is it too much to ask for one little milestone done on time.. One day without a monitor going off or even one day without worry. I used to love watching the shows on Disocvery Health and TLC about the births of the babies and bringing them home, but now I am just sad.. and jealous of those. I know I will never get to experience a birth like that or a normal baby. I used to think I was at terms with it all but lately its been really hard. I guess I am just sad that my baby is aging and that I will never have another. Maybe this is what the "baby itch" feels like?<br><br><br>
The last two pics are from last weekend. The first two are from a few weeks ago.<br><br><a href="http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g306/khourtniey/Boys.jpg" target="_blank">http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g3...tniey/Boys.jpg</a><br><br><a href="http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g306/khourtniey/Alohat.jpg" target="_blank">http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g3...iey/Alohat.jpg</a><br><br><a href="http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g306/khourtniey/Alostrawberry.jpg" target="_blank">http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g3...strawberry.jpg</a><br><br><a href="http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g306/khourtniey/Alochillin.jpg" target="_blank">http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g3...Alochillin.jpg</a>
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> Mama, I have to say that you sound like you have been really strong and are allowing yourself to process some grief. Sometimes allowing a little bit out at a time is easier than all at once. I found that when I had a difficult time over a birth experience that crying in the shower everyday was helpful.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> i'm sorry you are having a hard time mama, happy birthday to your little one though.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> sorry mama...you're home and yet without an escape how frustrating.<br><br>
Happy birthday to your little one though.
 

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Big hugs to you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I know its not the answer for everything, but if you ever want to get together for coffee or something just let me know. And happy birthday to your sweet babe.
 

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Hugs and sympathy going your way. While I don't know exactly how you feel i can empathise with you. I am so so sorry. Happy birth to your precious baby boy though. Would you mind sharing pictures?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks liberal_chick .<br><br>
I will add some pictures to the first post (I need to photobucket some tho)
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I wanted to respond to this when I first saw your post but I didn't know what to say. I guess it's time to take some of my own advice huh?<br><br>
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thanks again everybody.. After the party and everything (which was Saturday and went well) Im feeling better.. I let him taste some of his cake.. A big No-no.. and he did not do well with it.. I feel bad of course but I got some cute pics <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I am normally very strong but lately Ive just been feeling down. It seems like Ive been dealing with problem after problem for a long time.. and right when things started going well (so I thought) they turn right back around... And I thought once we left the NICU that the rollercoaster ride was over.. Boy was I wrong!!
 

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What a cutie. I was also very naive in thinking that our ride was over when we left the nicu. My daughter's 15 months. 100% tube fed. has delayed gastric emptying, severe reflux, the oral skills of that of a child who's jaw is wired shut...Okay maybe that's an axaggeration but she chokes/gags/pukes everytime she tries and eats anything...It could be worse, and this is your vent not mine..But hang in there. I'm right there with you. Although, she has made HUGE strides in her mobile abilities, I definitely understand the frustration, and sometimes anger associated with our kiddos and all the medical stuff going along with them :<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s::
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>munkeesmama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8177478"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What a cutie. I was also very naive in thinking that our ride was over when we left the nicu. My daughter's 15 months. 100% tube fed. has delayed gastric emptying, severe reflux, the oral skills of that of a child who's jaw is wired shut...Okay maybe that's an axaggeration but she chokes/gags/pukes everytime she tries and eats anything...It could be worse, and this is your vent not mine..But hang in there. I'm right there with you. Although, she has made HUGE strides in her mobile abilities, I definitely understand the frustration, and sometimes anger associated with our kiddos and all the medical stuff going along with them :<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s::</div>
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It really helps though to know that others are out there. In a lot of my other preemie groups the preemies have long past the typical preemie hurdles and are pretty much normal kids. Being in there makes me feel like we are so odd
 

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You have a preemie group? I've been looking for one in this area FOREVER! I didn't know one existed! *jealous* <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 
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