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They talked about working mothers and that 71% of the work force is made up of us. They started to touch on the fact we are the only country in the modern world that does not pay our mothers leave after having a baby, we are the only country that doesnt offer flex time as a rule instead of the exception. And then they hit home, that we as women think or have been made to think we can do it all, remember the old commerical from the late 70's<br>
"I can fry up the bacon, get the kids off to school" as she stands there in her business suit with a frying pan , and then next to her is her in a gown for a night on the town.<br><br>
I noticed my husband naps all the time, he is tired from work and needs a nap. I havent had a nap in 16 years. When do I get my nap? What is scary though, I probably wouldnt take the nap because I would feel guilty not cleaning the kitchen or helping my child with that school project.<br><br>
Any thoughts mamas?
 

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Oh darn, I missed it, and I really wanted to see that. Guess I'll have to go to the website and check out the highlights.
 

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I saw a little part. I think when they did the map and showed how ALL women pretty much except in the US get paid materniyt leave and benefita ans stuff, it was REALLY telling.....when the panel of moms said that they believe most us women dont even KNOIW they are getting shafted is totally true!<br>
How many Us women know that if they lived basically ANYWHERE else they would get time and money off to be with their newborns?<br><br>
I like the quote about Iran and North Korea having better policies than the US..that was great!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Tinas3muskateers</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6507092"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I noticed my husband naps all the time, he is tired from work and needs a nap. I havent had a nap in 16 years. When do I get my nap? What is scary though, I probably wouldnt take the nap because I would feel guilty not cleaning the kitchen or helping my child with that school project.<br><br>
Any thoughts mamas?</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/truedat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Truedat"><br><br>
When I pointed out to DH that my part time WOH equaled 75% of his WOH and I do (by his admission) 75% of what needs to be done at home - he was shocked! Didn't stop him from taking a nap on Mother's Day though! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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We have a VERY SIMPLE defintion, that i believe EVERY family should use.<br>
there are FOUR jobs in a 2-income household. Job 1, job 2 (these are your WOH jobs), taking care of the child(ren) and the household duties.<br><br>
You see, most poeple lump these last 2 together!! NONONONON<br>
DO NOT do this!<br>
They are seperate jobs.<br><br>
So, i woh and dh woh.....and then there are 2 jobs left....we can split childcare and house each 50/50.....or, in reality, i do about 75 of childcare, therefore i get to do only 25% of the houswork....or vice versa (there are days I'm happy to hand off my spirited 2 year old to do laundry and dishes, LOL!!)<br><br>
This also works for SAHmoms...<br>
do not lump taking care of the children and the house as one "job"<br>
If he WOH, and you SAH...your job whuile he is working is to take care of the KIDS..not the house!!<br><br>
The house is a THIRD job that you and he still should split equally, after you are each done with your primary jobs....<br><br>
off soapbox...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bobandjess99</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6513149"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We have a VERY SIMPLE defintion, that i believe EVERY family should use.<br>
there are FOUR jobs in a 2-income household. Job 1, job 2 (these are your WOH jobs), taking care of the child(ren) and the household duties.<br><br>
You see, most poeple lump these last 2 together!! NONONONON<br>
DO NOT do this!<br>
They are seperate jobs.<br><br>
So, i woh and dh woh.....and then there are 2 jobs left....we can split childcare and house each 50/50.....or, in reality, i do about 75 of childcare, therefore i get to do only 25% of the houswork....or vice versa (there are days I'm happy to hand off my spirited 2 year old to do laundry and dishes, LOL!!)<br><br>
This also works for SAHmoms...<br>
do not lump taking care of the children and the house as one "job"<br>
If he WOH, and you SAH...your job whuile he is working is to take care of the KIDS..not the house!!<br><br>
The house is a THIRD job that you and he still should split equally, after you are each done with your primary jobs....<br><br>
off soapbox...</div>
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I really like this! I go back and forth between being a sahm and and a wohm, and this is something i struggle with in both situations. This is kind of what we do now, but I always feel guilty about not doing more housework, even though I'm working as much if not more than he is.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bobandjess99</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6511732"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I saw a little part. I think when they did the map and showed how ALL women pretty much except in the US get paid materniyt leave and benefita ans stuff, it was REALLY telling.....when the panel of moms said that they believe most us women dont even KNOIW they are getting shafted is totally true!<br>
How many Us women know that if they lived basically ANYWHERE else they would get time and money off to be with their newborns?<br><br>
I like the quote about Iran and North Korea having better policies than the US..that was great!</div>
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ITA. I knew the US wasn't great, but I didn't realize how not great it is.
 

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I saw part of it. I knew how bad our maternity leave policies are. I wish dh was around to watch it.
 

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I saw a part of it too -- they said something like of 168 countries surveyed, only three did not have national maternity leave policies -- I think the three were Lesotho, Papua New Guinea, and the United States.<br><br>
Then they interviewed a woman (not sure which organization she was from) that said, "We need to encourage Americans to save for the time they need to be away from work." Elizabeth Vargas was like, "So, we all need to save so we can recover from the birth of a child?" And the woman said, "Yes." They also interviewed a Congressman who said that every time he has tried to introduce legislation to increase funding for childcare or something similar, he is automatically stonewalled by the current Congress and presidential administration. Some family values we have.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I would like to think in a perfect world we all have that nest egg stashed away for those occasions like having a baby but in reality that doesnt happen. Life gets in the way and you have to use that money you would normally save to get by. My guess is the woman who stated we need to save before we start families is making over 100,000 a year.
 

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I did not see the 20/20 special but I read the Marie Claire article. I was underwhelmed. Okay, Elizabeth Vargas had an extremely demanding job and no, it probably wasn't possible for her to have 2 children, a happy marriage and that job. HOWEVER, most of us do not have jobs that require us to be away from home for 14+ hours every day, so I think we can "have it all". In fact, most of my friends and colleagues DO have it all. It's certainly not easy, but personally I enjoy being in the workforce. I was not happy to hear her retro attitude espoused as wisdom.<br><br>
Stephanie<br>
mom to 7.5 yr old Neil and 3.5 yr old Reid
 

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I was born in the US but now live in Canada. Canadians always ask me (not so much lately, actually....) "Why don't you live in the States? It's so much better!" Maternity leave is always my first point. My son was born 6 years ago and I got 6 months paid parental leave. That went up the next year (pout) to one full year. Then I go on to mention public health care, government subsidized university tuition, and tougher gun control. Did you know that the infant mortality rate in the US is higher than Cuba's? I really fear for the future of America.
 

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The woman who said those things was an higher-up at the Dept of Labor if I remember correctly. Someone who probably doesn't worry about living paycheck to paycheck.<br><br>
The senator who has been trying to change things for years is Christopher Dodd from Connecticut. He is currently putting out feelers for running for President in 2008!!!!
 

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Wish I'd seen it. It does seem like the feminist movement that seemed to be fighting for women (equal treatment at work) was really fighting for men (women can do ALL the work and help support the family too).<br><br>
And what is UP with men and their naps!
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">"We need to encourage Americans to save for the time they need to be away from work." Elizabeth Vargas was like, "So, we all need to save so we can recover from the birth of a child?" And the woman said, "Yes."</td>
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HAHAHAHAHAH<br><br>
Just an FYI to that lady. I am very lucky at my job to have a liberal leave policy. I frugally used my leave so I could take the full 12 weeks off with pay..... I went on bed rest at 28 weeks, had DD at 34. I went back to work part time at what would have been 36 weeks, after a c/s, because of the lack of FMLA!!!!! time I had. I had the leave time, but not FMLA. I had to go back if I wanted to stretch my FMLA leave time so I could be with DD in the NICU and have just a little time with her when she came home. I used every single hour of FMLA time alloted to me. Most of the time I was off with full pay, some times it was the hours I worked that week, while DD was in the hospital. I had the equivelent of 11 weeks off with full pay, and the equivelent of one week off with no pay. I had about one week with DD after she came home from NICU before I was back at work full time.<br><br>
OT, I'm sure, but that is what reading that quote made me think of.
 

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Yeah - but after you have that time off with baby in North Korea you are forced to put him in a state run daycare and go to work, even if you don't want to.<br><br><br>
It is intresting, I work in a feild with a great number of people who fled communist regimes, and they say yeah - they had paid maternity leave off. But then the goverment stepped in a forced them to go back to work and put thier child in state run daycare.<br><br>
I guess it is the price we pay for not living in a socialist state.<br>
Darned captialism.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MsElle07</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6514084"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Then they interviewed a woman (not sure which organization she was from) that said, "We need to encourage Americans to save for the time they need to be away from work." Elizabeth Vargas was like, "So, we all need to save so we can recover from the birth of a child?" And the woman said, "Yes." They also interviewed a Congressman who said that every time he has tried to introduce legislation to increase funding for childcare or something similar, he is automatically stonewalled by the current Congress and presidential administration. Some family values we have.</div>
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Doesn't it cost you something in the range of $6-10K just to HAVE the baby in the US? I'm posting from Canada. I didn't pay a cent to give birth to my baby. I had full midwifery care, that continued once I had an official transfer of care to an OB for a cesarean.<br><br>
Canada is better than the states, but still has a long way to go. Not everyone is either eligible for or can afford a year long mat leave (you get a max of 55% of your salary). Don't even get me started on how high and dry we are left for childcare after mat leave.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jessitron</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6574316"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Wish I'd seen it. It does seem like the feminist movement that seemed to be fighting for women (equal treatment at work) was really fighting for men (women can do ALL the work and help support the family too).<br></div>
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I agree- it seems like the feminist movement made us more burdened. This is something I don't say lightly- as I was raised in the late 60's and 70's by a feminist mother.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bauchtanz</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6597313"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yeah - but after you have that time off with baby in North Korea you are forced to put him in a state run daycare and go to work, even if you don't want to.<br><br><br>
It is intresting, I work in a feild with a great number of people who fled communist regimes, and they say yeah - they had paid maternity leave off. But then the goverment stepped in a forced them to go back to work and put thier child in state run daycare.<br><br>
I guess it is the price we pay for not living in a socialist state.<br>
Darned captialism.</div>
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I don't really think it's fair to compare the U.S., the wealthiest nation in the world, with North Korea, a developing nation with a cruel and repressive dictator at its helm.<br><br>
We are the ONLY developed nation without a national maternity leave policy.
 
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