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Discussion Starter #1
Hello everyone!<br><br>
After some thinking, we have decided to start a new thread as we know the previous thread--being over a year long with 85 pages that people think that they need to read through before posting was VERY intimidating. We REALLY want others that are on this journey or thinking about starting this journey to join us and jump in wherever they are and we really hope that starting a new thread will do that.<br><br>
Instead of writing out why I started the thread in the first place, I'm just going to quote a paragraph from the last thread so that you get the gist of it.<br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I have seen some other threads relating this but I was wanting to start a fresh thread and BEG that people that respond steer clear of talking about diets or weighing themselves etc. as I was hoping to have a thread where those of us wanting to be at peace with food can come and exchange ideas/tips/revelations and encourage each other. There are plenty of other diet type threads if you prefer to go that route but I KNOW that there is a way to get/be healthy and have a healthy relationship with food rather than obsessing about it and trying the latest diets etc. but it IS a lot of work (as mainly it is NOT about the food--but about the other things in your life that need work and you are likely just using food to calm yourself or to stuff down your emotions) and it is definitely not a fast fix but I think it will be SO worth it in the long run.</td>
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Of course you are more than welcome to read bits and pieces from the other thread if you need some motivation or whatever - you can find it here if you want to take a look: <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=584497" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=584497</a> There is a lot of wisdom in that thread so I don't want it to all just disappear--I myself want to go back and read some bits as there is so much in there--and I know I forget a lot of what we talked about--which is why I LOVE having new people join us as it brings up new things or things that we are more than happy to go through again and share with each other.<br><br>
Anyway--so here it is--I hope that this year is as productive for all that read and post as it was last year. I know that I have come a LOOOONG way since last year and the other thread definitely played a part.<br><br>
I have to run--kiddos need some lunch.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><br>
Holly
 

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What an honor to post next, I think it is a good idea to start new too. Maggy I left you a post in the old local, but please, no worries.<br><br>
Having a decent day today but not such a good day food wise. I was really craving something yesterday, but it was too far to justify getting it. But today after swimming lessons with the little ones, I went by and picked it up. And then ate more and more than I wanted. Not sure why I am back to punishing myself, it's becoming pretty clear that's the intent. I wonder if it has a little to do with the new year in addition to all the other reasons I've been coming up with lately, and NOT setting a New Year's Resolution. I'm going to think on setting a loving resolution to counteract the years of setting a diet one. By the way Holly, thanks for the alternative way to think of food choices. Exactly how many times will I need to be reminded of this, 365 this year alone, I'm sure.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Actually now I'm feeling a little intimidated about posting this. Hoping not to upset the tone of a new beginning and everything. But I'm going to do it anyway,<br><br>
Welcome everyone, come on in, here goes!<br>
Polly
 

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nak<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/sick.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="sick"><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"><br><br>
Couldn't wait to post on the brand new thread!!<br><br>
Would it make sense to distinguish the new thread in some way? Maybe "2008" at the beginning? In case people have gotten used to seeing it and scan past it? Just a thought.<br><br>
Here's to no dieting in 2008! and always <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br>
Christina
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Thanks for not leaving me hanging ladies! Although this may be short as my youngest just woke up and I don't know how long he'll let me type while we cuddle!<br><br>
Anyway, thanks for pointing that out Christina--I totally meant to do that but was rushed when I was posting and forgot--but I was able to change it so phew!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
Okay no more feeling intimidating about posting y'all!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> Hahaha just teasing ya Polly!!<br><br>
I found myself EE after I had a nice mindful lunch... a bit of a habit as I went and sat on the couch and ate--totally did NOT enjoy it either. Then clued in that I should be journaling at these times (how have I forgotten such an important thing--to journal in the moment when I think about EE or while EE or after EE--any of them are good although it's best to do it without EE if at all possible!) - anyways a few things came up... I was stressed about the new thread (silly I know!) and a bunch of everyday time stresses and then also I witnessed first hand an accident this morning--the car stopped at the light in front of me then just started going through the red light all of a sudden--as if they thought it was green... (Probably a brain fart moment on their part from what I could tell-it happens to the best of us!) Anyway, then a minivan came and hit her car and it was just so awful. They were both fine (VERY shaken up but fine) and I stopped and went and picked up the license plate that was getting run over by other cars and made sure everyone was okay and waited to make a statement when the police arrived.. my point being--I think it affected me more than I realized--I've never witnessed anything like that before and it was scary and RIGHT in front of me. I was so glad there were no kids involved... Anyway, then I got my haircut and have those first "uh oh I don't like my haircut" feelings but I won't know for sure if I like it or not until tomorrow... Although it was just supposed to be a shorter version of what I already had but it seems really different today!<br><br>
ANYWAYS I did journal and then had a nap which seemed to be what I needed in that moment and I do feel better right now. I'm pretty excited as I'll be going to JamTots almost every morning to work there while my daughter is at school--an my son will play with my partner's daughter... We managed to move stuff around enough to make a small area for me to have a desk--but of course the only desk that we found that we fit the smallish space yesterday was not instock--but we're hoping we'll get it in the next week or two.... so I have a temporary folding table (yikes! not so good ergonomically eh?) and wooden chair (my chair wasn't instock either--what a PITA!) - but it's good to still go and try to make that work for now as otherwise I'm sure my 'area' will get filled with more stuff! We're really struggling as we're totally running out of room to put all the stock so we're looking for some warehouse space and that's REALLY hard to find here so wish us luck on that!<br><br>
Mamabeca--how is the hoodie coming? Can we see a picture??<br><br>
Polly--yes the dinner thing... let me know if anything works for you--it can be SUCH a struggle!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Eat">:<br><br>
Ack I forget what else I was going to say. I'm going to go do my Nia now as I suddenly have a craving to do so. Have a wonderful evening everyone!<br><br>
Holly
 

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Hey, ladies--strange to see a short thread!<br><br>
I joined the gym today after thinking about it for a while. I wasn't sure whether I would feel like it was just One More Thing I Have to Do or if I would really like it. I think it's going to be really nice. They have a childcare center so I can take Mary in and leave her there and go use the treadmill or bikes or whatever. I was afraid that she wouldn't like it or would be upset when I left, but I needn't have worried--she LOVED it. I'm so excited for her to spend some time with other kids; she needs that and totally lacks it in her daily life. I had a nice walk on the treadmill and it felt good to be by myself! I will have to remember to bring headphones or something because I do not like watching the TVs that are there--I would rather have music or bring a book if I can manage the coordination necessary to read while I walk and not fall off the treadmill. It is nice, spending this time on myself.<br>
--Heather
 

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Hi All! Just a few more thoughts I've had about going "sugar and processed carb free". To tell you the truth, it hasn't been all that difficult for me. I can only compare it to a vegetarian not eating meat. I really do not crave or want it. This is a very different place from where I was a year ago.<br><br>
My thinking about hesitating to post has evolved a bit more. My thinking now is that this thread (as the old one) is about processing and moving through. I remember early on last year writing, "I wish I could spend a day with someone who eats normally, who has no issues with food." I am thinking now that perhaps I am, slowly, becoming that person, and perhaps others need to be able to see what processing and moving through looks like. I'm also aware that being that person puts me in a position to attract some anger. But anger is usually a sign that one needs to do some reflecting. What is the anger about? Can it be put into words? Can it be worked through? And isn't EE a form of anger? Anger turned inwards that then punishes us from the inside? I know I may be rambling now, but I really want to know how some of you "old-timers" have been feeling about recent changes I've made.<br><br>
I had another thought. A diet is something that someone does, reaches his or her goal, and then transitions out of it into some sort of sustainable eating behavior that more or less keeps the person at a particular weight. A diet that keeps going and perpetuating itself, that becomes a central concern in a person's life is no longer a diet, it's an eating disorder. There is a time and place to adopt a particular "way of eating". I guess part of my wanting to stop eating sugar and refined carbs has been an experiment to see if I can do it without it turning into an obsessive eating disorder. So far so good, but the proof will be in the pudding of time, and what happens when I encounter major stressors.<br><br>
I should probably also interject that my mom's been away for nearly 3 weeks, and I am sure not having her around has been supportive of healthful ways of being for me. She comes back Wednesday. Let's see what happens then.<br><br>
I, too, am glad for a new thread, and sincerely hope that others who have mostly been lurking will begin to post. It's sort of like an NPR membership. You can get a lot more out of it if you become a member and begin to contribute.<br><br>
Also, if people are reluctant to post, I'd really be curious to learn why that is... What is it about the nature of this thread that prevents you? I think there may be something for all of us to learn in the responses to this question.<br><br>
Be well all...<br><br>
Maggy
 

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Woo, thanks so much for the fresh thread. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> Will post more when the kids get to bed!
 

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I'm glad to see a new thread. I had subbed to the last one, but I never had teh time to go back and read the 5 existing pages thatwere there when I subbed, so I never participated.<br><br>
I've been struggling with EE forever, and I've been tackling it for 2+ years. I go throught periods when I am strong and I don't do it, but I usually fall back into EE and consume a ton of chocolate, ice cream, etc.<br><br>
For me, I'm more prone to EE when:<br><br>
I'm procrastinating<br>
I'm really nervous<br>
When I'm tired<br>
If there is some kind of "out-of-the ordinary" treat in the house, and I am afraid that if *I* don't consume the whole thing now, that there will be none left for me later
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Welcome back CathToria! I'm so glad that you have joined us again--and if you get behind on the posts, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! This is NOT a place where you have to be perfect or all or nothing--although I can totally relate to those feelings!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">For me, I'm more prone to EE when:<br><br>
I'm procrastinating<br>
I'm really nervous<br>
When I'm tired<br>
If there is some kind of "out-of-the ordinary" treat in the house, and I am afraid that if *I* don't consume the whole thing now, that there will be none left for me later</td>
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I can relate to ALL of those for sure. MY list also has when I'm mad or sad or cold or bored or overwhelmed on it for sure and likely more things. Using a coping strategy--whatever it is--is so complicated eh--it's so natural that we often don't know we're even doing it until we're in the middle or done. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> That's where being mindful or more conscious comes in... another thing that is hard for moms especially to do since we spend all day thinking about our kiddos and what they need rather than what WE need! Although I'm working HARD to squeeze myself in too as I KNOW how important it is, how it makes me happier, makes me a better mom and it's really just NECESSARY. Enough being a martyr and a crazy multi-tasker already like my mom taught me!<br><br>
Heather--I'm so glad to hear that you joined the gym! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> That's so great that you did that for yourself and even better that your daughter LOVES the daycare!! WOOHOO you can have me time whenever you need it... or heck just take some daily if you can - I often find that I need 'me' time when I least think I do!! Now of course I'm picturing you reading and then falling off the treadmill though hahaha! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I too bring headphones and I get magazines from the library to keep me busy when I'm not chatting with my friend!<br><br>
Maggy... honestly, I worry about you a little but hope that what you are doing ends up being the right thing for you. It is different for you because of your health issue so to you it can seem more like you need to do this and if you are not feeling restricted about it or craving it then I'm happy for you. I do worry about you though secretly (well not so secretly now!) as I would hate to see you back where you started which was NOT a good place at all. That's just my concern.<br><br>
For myself, I KNOW that restricting makes me CRAZY--and many people are like that--you restrict anything and they immediately want it. SOOO knowing that, I can still make choices daily but knowing I can have ANYTHING makes it much easier to choose--and I DON'T always choose crap--I really don't. When I am in the best place in my head--and I HAVE been there--where I'm really in tune with myself and giving myself good self-care/compassion/love--then food is SO not the issue. It doesn't even phase me. I've had months of that (when I was pg with my third) and days of it at other times--and it feels WONDERFUL. Somehow I often forget that is my goal--but I KNOW it can happen and THAT is what I'm striving for --it is BLISS. (This is as much for everyone than it is for you/me!)<br><br>
ANYWAY-I guess I just worry that you won't get 'there' but heck I don't know everything for sure and I think everyone's journey and destination is different. I do know that the intent of this (and the other) thread is to not discuss diets and weight loss/weight as there are a million other places online and IRL to talk about that-I really wanted this to be a 'safe' place for those of us still travelling the journey (or that are done!) to come and talk and not be bombarded with that 'stuff' - so yah--please do post but let's keep it away from discussing any kind of diet that's all! I myself think dieting is restricting your eating--which is not what most of us WANT to have to do - it's also about the diet mentality which can be triggered so easily in many of us and send us off in a wrong direction when we are not ready to deal with it...<br><br>
Oh man I just realized I have to leave to go to the gym. I hope that makes sense. I HOPE you know that I still want you here and hope you can see what I'm saying--I so want you to be better too--that's all I want which is why I'm protecting this thread so strongly--for myself but more importantly for others that are earlier in this process that can be strayed much more easily! I can also see what you are saying about the anger--and honestly I'm not angry-although I was a little sad to have you stop posting! I hope that things still go well for you when your mom returns--good luck with that!<br><br>
Okay really must run. HUGS Maggy and everyone else!<br><br>
Holly
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>veggiemommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10287109"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">For myself, I KNOW that restricting makes me CRAZY--and many people are like that--you restrict anything and they immediately want it.</div>
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Your defenitely not the only one. I also cannot do restrict myself. Been there done that hundreds of times and it does NOT work for myself. Just like the saying "You always want what you can't have".
 

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Hi. Holly, I kinda knew you would be concerned about me. Really, all I can say is that this is kind of an experiment for me. I know that for me sugar and refined carbs are the kiss of death. And stopping ingesting them is more like quitting smoking than going on a diet. In every other respect, I am not being restrictive. But I am trying to find out what "moderation" and "mindfulness" mean to me, personally, and what shape they take in my life. I feel like when I decided to stop the diet mentality last year at this time, the pendulum swung to the extreme of the other side (and I proceded to put on 40 pounds). And after many swings in both directions, I think I'm ready now to find a place to settle and stop swinging.<br><br>
I continue to not weigh myself, ever. And I'm actually at a place where I'm liking shopping for clothes for my body as it is right now, today. And these two things are HUGE for me.<br><br>
That's about it for now...
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Maggy--I want you to do what is best for you and only you can determine what that is at any given moment. Didn't you say that you had gained weight when you first joined us? I'm surprised to hear that you gained 40 lbs since joining us--but then again if you are really underweight and restrictive at the -40lbs time then I guess that's possible?<br><br>
I ask because I want people to see another side and not be terrified of letting go of diets/restricting or purging....<br><br>
I have NOT gained weight in this process--I am pretty much where I was (maybe a little less actually) than when I started this process--and I did not gain a whole bunch of weight at the beginning despite being terrified of having that happen. It just didn't happen--the more mindful you are and the more you let go of the power that food can have over you, the less you want it just naturally... I went through a long time where I just ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and felt like I was out of control--but it wasn't any worse than what I was doing before obviously as my weight didn't change--it just felt scary--but the binging was just more spread out I think--like I would eat whenever I wanted instead of totally pigging out before starting yet another diet the next day--only to fall off the wagon and pig out like it was my last meal ever once again before the next try at a diet.<br><br>
Anyway I really have to go but I did want to make sure people that are out there lurking know that is NOT always the case and from what I have read/heard--it is generally NOT what happens... I'd hate for people to be terrified of starting because of that fear--which is in all of us anyway--but yah--just wanted to share my experience in that.<br><br>
Reading what you are doing and talking to you about how I view things actually just makes me feel stronger and more in tune with what I'm doing and what I feel is true so it's actually a good thing for me at this point--and thank you for letting me talk about it rather than holding it in - otherwise it WOULD come out as EE behaviour instead and that's NOT where I want to be!<br><br>
Anyway, everyone's journey is their own and so I hope that everyone will do what is best for them.<br><br>
HUGS!!<br>
Holly
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>CathToria</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10286811"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">For me, I'm more prone to EE when:<br><br>
I'm procrastinating<br>
I'm really nervous<br>
When I'm tired<br>
If there is some kind of "out-of-the ordinary" treat in the house, and I am afraid that if *I* don't consume the whole thing now, that there will be none left for me later</div>
</td>
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I think I've been in denial about EE for a long time now. I do remember binging as a young child when my parents weren't home, and feeling lots of shame about it. My parents were *always* dieting (Nutrisystem, WW, all kinds of fad diets) and I'm sure that wasn't the healthiest environment to grow up in.<br><br>
I'm very conscious about trying to set a good example for DS about having a healthy relationship with food. What I'm really working on right now is being mindful of what I put into my body and connecting with the deeper issues surrounding food. It's not as easy as adding fuel - there are many emotions, rituals, and psychological aspects as well.<br><br>
Please forgive me for the rambling nature of this post. I'm still hesitant to actually admit to any of these issues, and feeling hesitant about putting them into words. I'm so grateful for this safe place to explore these feelings, though!
 

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Holly. When I joined, I had gained back 10 lbs from the low weight I had achieved through heavy restricting. Over the course of the year since, I have put another 30 back on, but I've done a whole lot of bingeing also... Especially over the summer as I was sitting and writing. But also, I have learned that my body simply cannot handle particular kinds of foods without reacting by storing everything I eat as fat tissue. Although I like the idea of all foods being free and OK, there is a truth that actually transcends that idea in my case. A high-carb diet, no matter how moderate, results in my bulking up, feeling sluggish, and having cravings out the wazoo, not to mention perpetuating yeast-related health problems. I wish my ideals and my metabolism were aligned. But they're just not.<br><br>
I'll have to think about whether I feel OK about continuing to post, since I feel like my path is a little different now. I certainly don't want to trigger diet thoughts in anyone else. But I, also, don't want to feel as if I have to tread on eggshells each time I write.<br><br>
Bests,<br><br>
Maggy
 

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Hi there all,<br><br>
Maggy, I'm glad you are feeling good about your current path. You've been an important part of the thread, and I've enjoyed reading about your growth and appreciated your honesty about your hardships. I hope you'll continue to feel good about being here. Each path is so unique, only each of us knows what is best for us. I will be honest that I do come here for a safe place to feel supported through the trials and tribulations of rejecting the diet mentality. The last 3 times I dieted, I did low-carb, so hearing about it does have a personal twinge that I have to try to overlook. It's hard for me because on one hand this is the best year of my life. I never thought I could experience the growth around food and body image that I have. I went from 34 years of hating my body and my inability to "control" myself around certain foods to truly feeling a peace most days now. But there are some hards days here and there where old behavior and thoughts kick in. I might start feeling negative about my body and have that lurking thought in the back of my mind...low carb. Each time I lost a lot of weight (of course I always eventually gained it back). This is not in judgment of your choice. You know your body and your process best. You also have health concerns. I think you're an amazing woman and I support you on your journey. But FWIW, I like having this thread be a refuge about talk of restriction. That is my 2 cents. I hope this will read with the intent that I have for it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Now, for the reason I came on. I thought since there's a new thread, I'd post some info from the Intuitive Eating (IE) website that could be helpful for newbies or those considering embarking on this path.<br><br><br><br><a href="http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/IntuitiveEating_Support/" target="_blank">http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group...ating_Support/</a><br><br>
DIET MENTALITY / DIET-SPEAK:<br>
================================================== ===<br>
Working to Rid Ourselves of this "Stinkin' Thinkin'"!<br>
================================================== ====<br><br>
* chocolate is 'bad', fruits & veggies are 'good'.<br><br>
* I 'should' exercise, otherwise I'll never get this weight off<br><br>
* I had a 'bad eating day' today.<br><br>
* I should eat 'healthier'.<br><br>
* I just can't seem to control myself around ________ (type of food).<br><br>
* I shouldn't eat anything in the evenings / after 7 p.m.<br><br>
* If I don't eat now, there won't be any left for me later.<br><br>
* I have to clean my plate... I can't waste food.<br><br>
* I always gain weight back after I lose it.<br><br>
* I'm a chocoholic.<br><br>
* I'm a sugar-addict.<br><br>
* I always gain weight during the holidays.<br><br>
* I could never eat just 'one' __________.<br><br>
* I did good, so I'm going to reward myself.<br><br>
* Chocolate and Coke are my 'comfort foods'.<br><br>
* Even though I'm sick, I'm going to exercize because if I don't, I'll<br>
gain weight.<br><br>
* Even though _____ doesn't taste good and doesn't satisfy me, it's lower<br>
calorie so I will eat this instead of something I like.<br><br>
* I've already eaten too many calories for the day so I shouldn't eat<br>
anymore even though I'm hungry.<br><br>
* I need to lose ___ pounds by my wedding/reunion/etc.<br><br>
* Why don't have I have enough will power to not over-indulge in _______?<br><br>
* If I don't eat breakfast or lunch I can afford to eat more at supper time<br><br>
* I can't eat anything after 7:00 pm<br><br>
* I have to clean my plate....I take it I eat it<br><br>
* If I work out I can have more to eat.<br><br>
* If it tastes good it must be bad for me<br><br>
* If I eat a head of lettuce it is better for me than a piece of cake<br><br>
* I should always eat a healthy snack.<br><br><br><br>
Going over this list again was validating to me. It helped me note some positive shifts in my thinking this year. With the new year, I've been taking an emotional inventory of where I'm at. Sometimes, after all these years I can not hardly believe I'm here. I just never thought I could feel so free from food and negative body thoughts. Of course I'm a work in progress, but the shift has occurred. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
Perl, please, ramble away. That good stuff I need to hear.<br><br>
Welcome Cathtoria. I can also identify with your triggers. It took me a long time to identify my triggers. For so long I would mindlessly eat and just not <i>get</i> why I was always eating when I wasn't hungry. I think everyone is so brave for being here.<br><br>
Polly I <i>love</i> your idea about setting a loving resolution. That's so great.<br><br>
Heather, congratulations on your successful "you" time. I'm so happy for you and that your little one likes the day care. Self-care, self-love baby!<br><br>
Holly, thanks for starting another thread.<br><br>
Ok I'm hoping everyone is doing well.<br><br>
Cheers! Christina
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>babygrant</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10287758"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Your defenitely not the only one. I also cannot do restrict myself. Been there done that hundreds of times and it does NOT work for myself. Just like the saying "You always want what you can't have".</div>
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Hi babygrant, I missed you in my post. I'm so glad you're here. I'm with ya. It doesn't work for me either. Glad you're here.<br><br>
Gotta run
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>babygrant</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10287758"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Your defenitely not the only one. I also cannot do restrict myself. Been there done that hundreds of times and it does NOT work for myself. Just like the saying "You always want what you can't have".</div>
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me too
 

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Hi Christina. I appreciate what you wrote, and particularly that my talking of eliminating sugar and refined carbs has an impact on you. I'm sorry about that and am not sure how to proceed without leaving big parts of myself and what I've come to believe and understand out of what I write here.<br><br>
The truth is, I've been in low-carb diet hell a couple of times myself, and this isn't what is hapening right now. I know "diets" pretty intimately, and I know that this isn't what I'm doing. I've perused some low-carb diet websites lately, and I am appalled at the kinds of things people are teaching each other to do. There's actually a thread where people list their daily menus and ask others to comment on whether they've got the right percentages of nutrients, etc... Very toxic.<br><br>
Here's my sort of "litmus test" as I proceed: I ask myself whether what I'm doing is something I'd be happy having my daughter pick up on. I think it's appropriate for me to teach her (by word and by example) how to make good choices. We haven't banned chips and chocolates, etc... from the cupboard as we don't want these ubiquitous items to be so mystified in the kids' minds, but my DH and I are both trying to "shape" them to make better choices. I think it's perfectly fine for me to keep the kids away from high fructose corn syrup (in its myriad forms) for as long as possible, knowing what I know about HFCS.<br><br>
While it's true that I don't want my daughter to pick up on dieting behavior and mentality, I also, and just as emphatically, don't want her to pick up on uncontrolled constant munching behavior as a solution to dealing with strong or difficult affect. I've struggled at both ends of the spectrum, and both are equally distressing.
 

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Maggy, I haven't followed all of yout posts too closely, but I think I see what you are saying. I think this kind of thinking works for me too. Instead of saying, "I can not have any sugar-processed carb foods, they are off limits to me"... you are saying "I choose not to eat any sugar-processed carb foods"<br><br>
Like the HFCS and PHO's.. for me, it is just a fact that my family and I do not eat those. It just isn't an option, b/c I have researched and know they are very bad for our bodies. And I have ZERO emotional problems excluding those from my diet. I don't see a tub of Crisco or a bottle of Karo and think, "Oh.... that's teh forbidden fruit, I want to consume it NOW".<br><br>
So you're just "classifying" sugar and high processed carbs the same way that I classify HFCS and PHO's, right? I'm thinking that this thinking might work for me. Besides, if I CHOOSE not to eat sugar/processed carbs, that is totally different than my telling myself that I can't eat them.<br><br>
Am I making any sense? I personally also need to CHOOSE to not binge, just the way I choose to not eat HFCS and PHO's.
 

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Cathtoria: Exactly! I couldn't have said it better myself. I wouldn't want any of that in my life any more than I'd choose to smoke or teach my kids to smoke.<br><br>
There is something really empowering to think of these matters as choices rather than rules. At the end of the day, it is a choice to learn to eat normally, care for your body and psyche lovingly, to find out what works for you and to put it into action. I am a practicing clinical psychologist and I know very well that unless someone does the underlying emotional work, changes in behavior won't stick. I also know that unless a person works at bringing about change (since change is what brings about change...) all the emotional digging and working through ends up being a little bit like masturbation (sorry, that's the only analogy I could come up with).
 
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