[sntm]

I know part of what's triggering it (transitioning to new classroom at daycare, just finished teething) but DS has recently started hitting, pushing, or kicking when we do things he doesn't like, such as tell him he can't watch another video, mom's too tired to keep giving piggy back rides, etc. It's very deliberate, often preceded by a few mock hits where he swings his hand near you, and accompanied with a sullen look.

We've rarely had behavior issues in the past and they've all responded to redirection, which this isn't. I tried doing gentle time-outs a la Sears (which is how daycare will be dealing with it if it occurs (though it hasn't occurred at daycare, only at home)) but it just worked him up even more and didn't accomplish anything. On some occasions, I've tried getting up and walking away from him and closing the door behind me, which also freaks him out a little but seems to be somewhat effective when I come back a moment later.

Any better suggestions? This is one thing I want to nip in the bud, since this is something I don't tolerate.

 

[Mommay]

My ds, who has always been pretty easy-going and sweet, has been hitting and pushing lately, myself, dh, and others. I've seen this happen with other kids too just around 2 years old. Now I don't want to overplay the "terrible twos" label, but there is something to it.

So far, he hasn't been that bad, and he isn't usually angry when he's doing it, but I was particularly horrified when he pushed his 3 year old cousin today. My immediate reaction was to grab him, which I did.

: But that only reinforces his pushing by "pushing" him. On the other hand, he is less than two years old, so I don't want to punish him or withdraw my affection or attention or whatever. Because he really doesn't know what he's doing is "bad".

Then I remembered what I read in Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, and instead told ds, "I know you like N., but if you hit her, it'll make her sad. If you want to get N.'s attention, you can call her or touch her nicely like this. Why don't you give her a hug." He did hug her, but he also pushed again, and then I grabbed him and took him away from her. (Don't know what else to do.)

But the general approach I like to take is to remember that discipline is about teaching the child about life, not about punishing him or her. There's a positive intention to every "bad" behavior (wanting attention, getting what he wants/needs, etc.), and there is usually a better way that you can teach him or her. Also, Bailey is big on focusing on what you want to happen and not focussing on what you don't want. Anything you focus on is what the child remembers the most, which is why perhaps they hit exactly when you ask them not to. So you could try being creative about ways to show him how to get what he wants in a different way.