26 mo ds regressing in "behavior" problems

422 Views 3 Replies 4 Participants Last post by mamakay, Mar 29, 2006

Think of Winter

Discussion Starter · Mar 28, 2006

The last few days, my 26 mo ds seems to have taken a big step back in some of our "problem" areas. It happened all at once, and nothing has changed at home that I'm aware of. Is this a typical thing? I think I've read that as kids grow and mature they will do this occasionally, but I wanted some feedback from actual mamas. It's driving me nuts.

He has gone back to:
Dumping all of his food on the floor, every meal.
Dumping the dog's water.
Being just plain contrary. Bossing us around, and whines and cries with every change in activity (We no go home. We no go library. We no go upstairs. Daddy not be in here-this one really bugs me)

And he's added:
Throwing things at our dog (did this about 6 times in a row yesterday)
Biting me while bfing

I keep catching myself thinking that my child is turning into a brat.

His last 2 molars are just breaking through, so maybe it's a teething thing? I've been blaming teething on and off for 2 months. He's also absolutely miserable for the first hour or so after he wakes from his afternoon nap. The crying, complaints, and ordering us around are nearly unbearable. And the only way I can get him to nap at all anymore is to put him in the car.

Any suggestions? I've tried gently explaining why we don't do certain things (like the dog issue), but really, it doesn't seem to help one bit. We do not do punishment, and I try to refrain from guilt.

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ShadowMom

· #2 · Mar 28, 2006

My DS is almost 28 months old and has turned into a bit of a holy terror lately too.

I guess it must be the age.

I have caught myself thinking, a few times,"my god, I've created a brat!".

I'm not proud for thinking it... but there ya go.

Now that we seem to be coming out the other end of this, what has helped me is to consistency and setting firmer limits.

I try to be pretty laid back and accomodating about stuff but that just wasn't working anymore. He would test and test and test. So when I say "No, I need you to put that down" that's it. I know it sounds obvious but I have a problem being really CONSISTENT with stuff. So, I have set firmer limits (I'm not cracking the whip by any means) and am being firmer with him on what he can and cannot do.

At this age, he really seems to enjoy being with younger kids which he can educate and boss around, if that makes any sense - show off how responsible and big he is. Don't know if that helps any.

Hang in there mama. This too shall pass ... right?

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lilylove

· #3 · Mar 28, 2006

I noticed in your sig that you are expecting. Maybe this could really be sinking in for him now.
The "Daddy not be in here" sounds really familiar. My Dd pushed my Dh away alot when I was pregnant with Ds. I'm sure it had to do with her dealing with this giant change. The baby, even unborn, was changing our relationship and our family dynamic. She felt she had no control over what was happening in her life and that was one of a dozen ways she was trying to find a little control. Perhaps alot of your sons actions are coming from the same place. One of the biggest things that helped my Dd, was offering her more control over her days. Choices like "Do you want to go to the park or the library today?" or "Do you want X or Y for dinner?" I also really tried to include her in what was happening in the pregnancy. I showed her pictures of what the baby looked like as he changed and grew, and she came to most of my midwife appointments.
It may be that it is a combination of things, though. When trying to understand why my children do the things they do. I often forget that, just like me, sometimes it is not a single cause. Sometimes it is alot of things that just builds up.

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mamakay

· #4 · Mar 29, 2006

Here's a thread I started a while back, when ds was that age.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=372049

And the update:
He's "normal" again...lol...
It was a phase and it passed.
I'm not sure what I "did", really, other than taking it on faith that I wasn't "spoiling" him with GD.

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