28month old ds crying about EVERYTHING!!!!!

I am sure I will be flamed for this, but I started telling ds to go to his room if he was going to cry about it. He started crying about everything at that age too. I don't think it is inappropriate to teach your child that it is unacceptable to cry about EVERYTHING. Things that genuinely make them sad or angry or scared, yes, the color of a cup, no. And it isn't because he is a boy, I would do the same for a girl. I have told him that the crying hurts my ears too and that crying about it is not going to change anything. Not because I am being harse, but because it is true: his tears and loudness are not going to get him another color cup. So if he would like to continue to cry about it, he needs to go somewhere where it won't hurt my ears until he gets control of himself. A lot of limit testing happens at this age, including the "how much will crying get me?" limit. That said, I have never forced him into his room. Generally his desire to be with me outweighs his desire to throw a fit and he calms down. Oh, also, if he can't tell me what the problem is, I ignore the crying. For example, "what's wrong?" "I want the red cup!" "Honey, I already gave you the blue cup." "But I want the red one!" "Well, I am not going to give you the red one, you can have the blue one and next time I will remember to ask you which one you want before I pour the milk in it" Followed by increasing wailing. "HOney, you can have this blue cup but you need to calm down" " I don't want to calm down!" " Then you can cry in your room until you are ready to be calm" "NO!" More wailing. After that, when it is obvious he doesn't want to compromise or he just wants to scream, I ignore it and go about my day. I don't stay in the same room, because it does hurt my ears and tends to make me feel angry, but I don't forcibly sequester him. And he calms down in about 10 minutes. For my ds, he really had no idea how to calm down and he had to learn how to do it. He was not able to listen when I tried to talk him down, talking seemed to make things worse, so I had to just leave him to his own devices. Once he is calm, not necessarily completely done crying but no longer wailing and screaming, I would always give him a big hug and talk about what had upset him. But I do not try to have that conversation while he is upset. And I try really hard not to carry any irritation around after the fact. So far it has worked well and at barely 4 yo, he doesn't cry that often. He is a person of black and white, like me, so I have been telling him a lot lately that it is okay to cry, that he doesn't have to hold it in all the time. I do not think this is my method, but rather his inability to see shades of gray. Let the flaming commence!

Has this been an ongoing thing? If so, do you think he could be overtired? Maybe needs a nap or needs to go to bed earlier in the evening?

My ds (31mo) does this sometimes, and it's apparent to me that he's tired. Last night, for example, was one of those nights. He'd had a great night of sleep the night before and an okay nap - but he was exhausted. Cried about every.little.thing last night.

I got him to bed earlier and he's back to his normal self today.

Another tactic I use when ds is in this type of mood, I ask him to use his words. I never ask him to stop crying. But, I do tell him that while he's crying I cannot understand what he's telling me (which is true) and that when he's finished crying, he can tell me what's wrong. That usually gets him to stop crying in an instant and he'll tell me that he wants the BLUE cup not the red one. Okay, I can fix that.

And sometimes, when ds is in a real funk, having meltdowns about everything - I sit him down AFTER a meltdown and tell him that he doesn't have to cry or yell to get my attention, all he needs to do is say my name. And, that usually works along with little reminders "ds just say my name, I can hear you, no need to yell."

It is the fake crying that is really getting to me!!! I am at the point that I am just ignoring it because I don't want to encourage it either way. I am not sure if it is the right thing for me to do...