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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Don't get me wrong. Our families are all perfectly happy that I'm pg again, as is my DH. But last time (my first pg) everyone was so much more ....well...supportive, helpful, concerned about me. Granted we'd ttc for 5 years with DD so it was even a bigger deal than usual, but COME ON people! I have a 22 mo to chase around 24/7 now! Not to mention little things like housework and of course everyone still expects me to have the energy to visit with them.
:

Half the time I just feel like
: but I'm plugging along. Doesn't mean I wouldn't like, oh, maybe an offer to watch DD for a bit to give me a breather or so DH & I could get some time alone before the new baby comes. We literally live next door to my mother now & she has not watched DD once since we found out I was pg. In fact the last time she kept her was the weekend I actually took the pg test. I'm actually going to join the YMCA so I can drop DD in their babysitting service (which is good...I know the place & the lady who does the hiring) while I take some "me" time to walk on the tread mill, swim some laps, or just sit by the pool with a book and meditate for 1/2 and hour.

Maybe it's just because last time I wasn't living near family so I had lower expectations of them, but I don't think so. Even my DH, who last time would give me a foot rub almost every night, was always kissing/rubbing my belly, and really sympathetic when I felt crappy is pretty much like "buck up and deal with it" and he's really a nice guy most of the time I SWEAR.


Someone tell me I'm not alone!!!

Holly
 

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This is number three and no one cares. I think DH forgets I'm pregnant half the time... he certainly isnt stepping up around the house and is complaining that I sleep too deeply some nights and dont hear the kids. Cry me a river, buddy.
:

My MW, who is a good friend, is the only one who consistently asks me how I am etc. The mommies in my postpartum support class (that I teach) care too. But no one else even asks half the time.

Its aggravating, particularly since this is the hardest pg so far, too.
 

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Chup. Last time, DH cooked me dinner every night. This time, I cook for the 3 of us, no matter how much I want to :puke. Last time, DH cleaned the cat boxes, the toilet (no chemicals around the pregnant lady), and did the laundry. This time, the cat box hasn't been changed and the toilets and laundry...well, you guessed it.

I'm SO excited to have this baby. BOY, we ALL are excited. But for some reason, the bloom is off the big, fat belly. PFEH!
 

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I'm completely with you. I live in the same town as my mom, dad, and youngest sis. Sis is getting married next weekend, so that's where all the attention is right now (which is fine). But it's like we all have been forgetting that I'm even pregnant, and everyone was SO involved and interested the first time around. My belly popped out last week and I've started feeling the baby move, so it's kind of like "Oh, yeah! You're pregnant...we forgot!"

DH is kind of being a turd. He is not being sympathetic at all and I have been so much sicker this time around. We are selling the house I'm living in, and he has already moved to our new town and is working on our new house (painting, pulling up carpet, etc.) every night after work. He *actually thinks* that he's working harder than me - I would love to be able to have him do what I do every day, for one stinking day, and see what he thinks then.

Even though he is being unsympathetic and unsupportive in some ways, he IS excited about the new baby, so I am thankful for that.
 

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I totally hear ya!

This is the third one for me... in fact I was pregnant this time last year as well... so it is like old news for everyone...

Dh does help a little... but he complains about it while doing it which really upsets me...

All I could use right now is someone to watch the kids once in awhile so I could take a nap! Or just watch them for a little while... I have been having massive migraines for the past month... so it has become very hard for me to cope with everything and get everything done around the house...

My personal pet peeve is when people say oh call me if you need anything or a break or something. But then when you do call and take them up on it they are always busy, have an excuse or put it off for a few days... Nevermind that you need the help now!!!

I can only hope that maybe by the time the baby comes I will be feeling a lot better and can handle it all!!
 

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Yeah, I'm there with you! I too am living near family now (all of our parents actually) and they have been less than sort of helpful. My IL's have been on vacation most of the summer, my mom has just not been around...

My DH has been working long hours lately (including Saturdays) and just yesterday pulled the "but you didn't work today" card for one of the first times ever. He was on my case yesterday for not "understanding how tired he is" and "only thinking about how his long hours affect me!" I was so annoyed. Because it is definitly easier to work part-time, chase a toddler, be pregnant, manage a house, do all the housework/cooking/cleaning/laundry than it is to LITERALLY SIT AND WATCH other people work (he is an engineer and is currently supervising a project-- read-- sit and watch).
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ilovemyavery
Because it is definitly easier to work part-time, chase a toddler, be pregnant, manage a house, do all the housework/cooking/cleaning/laundry
Thank you! That's what I'm talking about. My only difference is that I take DS to work with me, so I'm chasing him while I'm trying to work. It really isn't working very well these days.
 

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Oh yeah - me too. I was feeling a little silly for feeling this way, but I kind of feel...oh...neglected. My mom has asked me ONCE in all this time how I'm feeling. My DH isn't giving me any break either - he's sympathetic when I say I don't feel good, but he's not offering to take DS off my hands for a bit so I can rest either.

I don't know - I guess it's just typical. I read part of a pregnancy book about having your second and there was a chapter on this. That author just said get used to it - it's how it is.

It still bugs me tho.
 

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Try telling people you are pg with #3! I swear a couple of people rolled their eyes! And a "friend" asked me if I was trying to build a baseball team. I said, S, a baseball team has 9 players. We have quite a ways to go before 9. Ay!

Quote:

Originally Posted by pbreffe
Dh does help a little... but he complains about it while doing it which really upsets me...

My personal pet peeve is when people say oh call me if you need anything or a break or something. But then when you do call and take them up on it they are always busy, have an excuse or put it off for a few days... Nevermind that you need the help now!!!
I tell dh he only gets half credit if he b!tches while he does it.

Yeah, call if you need anything. With ds I went into preterm labor at 32 weeks, on a Saturday night at 6pm. I called seven people. Got through to two. One was on her way out to dinner and couldn't come over. The other could come over for one hour because she was going to a party.


But just call if you need anything.
 

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My first pregnancy was like a godsend to my family because there hadn't been a baby in 9 years. This time around nobody really cares. I think it's because my cousin just had a baby and yeah...at least I don't have to answer all those stupid questions like I did last time. You know the kind that no matter what answer you give everyone is all "yeah, but..."
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by janerose
Someone tell me I'm not alone!!!

Holly
Not by a long shot! I'm chasing a 20-month old, working FT, and am going to school! I'm BEYOND exhausted. The house is a *disaster*. I'm FINALLY getting over the nausea, but now I seem to be constantly stuffed up and sneezing. Hubby tries to be supportive, but he works nights and watches our son during the day while I'm at work, so he's just as dead on his feet as I am!

This will be our last child, so maybe in a year or two we can do something together - like eat a meal! :-D

Rach
 

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It is strange how the second baby seems to be so forgotten. "Oh yeah, you're pregnant!"
I'm even losing track of how far along I am! Poor baby to be!
Suzy
 

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Yep.
And by baby #5 they think you are an old pro (or YOUNG pro as the case may be).
It's now that I need more support than ever. With a toddler, 2 preschoolers and an 8 year old, having some extra help (just so I could even get a nap) would be nice.

Then there are the baby showers. You get a ton sometimes with the first and then NOTHING for the rest. IMO, all babies should be celebrated and I'm so thankful that after almost 9 years, I have some friends who are throwing me one since my stuff was 'outdated. lol
 

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I could not agree more..we moved out of our home state so its like we don't exist I guess.. my brother, my aunt, my in laws..never hardly ever call.. not even to see how my son is doing even...and I guess if they can't see me pregnant I am not pregnant??? ykwim? some of my friends are great .. some seem to forget...maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself.. I cleaned the whole house and rearranged the dining area into a play area for ds made a great dinner did all the laundry ( all this after DH bitched about my lack of housekeeping lately) and I barely got a "oh yeah looks good" AFTER I ASKED!!! I just feel crappy and maybe I am having a bad day.. but I don't even feel like being around my ds right now.. and he usually lights up my world.. is there such a thing as Pre-partum depression???
 

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I'm new here, hope you guys don't mind me just jumping in, maybe later on I'll feel up to posting an intro. I usually post on TAO.

I'm dealing with the same thing. Last time my dh rubbed my belly all the time and was a lot more excited when I bought things for the baby, picked out names etc. He's happy about having a baby and giving dd a sibling but it's like btdt, quit whining about your morning sickness and pay attention to me *groans*

My family is happy too but also not as excited. Nobody has mentioned a shower. Oh well, I wasn't really feeling up to one anyway but the thought would have been nice KWIM?

This time around I have no friends, my only girl friend and I had a falling out. Then a little over a week ago my sister and best friend died
So I'm feeling lonely and like I have nobody to share this with *sighs* Kind of depressing
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by FreeThinkinMama
I'm new here, hope you guys don't mind me just jumping in, maybe later on I'll feel up to posting an intro. I usually post on TAO.

I'm dealing with the same thing. Last time my dh rubbed my belly all the time and was a lot more excited when I bought things for the baby, picked out names etc. He's happy about having a baby and giving dd a sibling but it's like btdt, quit whining about your morning sickness and pay attention to me *groans*

My family is happy too but also not as excited. Nobody has mentioned a shower. Oh well, I wasn't really feeling up to one anyway but the thought would have been nice KWIM?

This time around I have no friends, my only girl friend and I had a falling out. Then a little over a week ago my sister and best friend died
So I'm feeling lonely and like I have nobody to share this with *sighs* Kind of depressing
Sorry for all your losses. I can't imagine how hard that has to be while pg.

My DH is also not interested in talking about the name. We had one conversation about names, like the day after we found out I was pg, and since then he never wants to talk about it. I think once we find out the gender in 4 weeks he'll "engage" a little more and want to decide on names & stuff like that.

I doubt we'll get showers this time either. I do know that our families will most likely still pick us up a few things (especially if this one is a boy), but I'm guessing they'll give them to us individually or mail them. I don't see any parties & frankly I can't say I'm sorry about that.


Blessings,
Holly
 

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I thought I was the only to receive less support form loves ones, my family look at me and said another one (it only my 2nd child) and said well you grown now.
:
 

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Well, the one person I most want support from did not want another child, despite the fact that he's an awesome daddy, and we share a great love of kids. He's been unavailable and distant since we conceived..3.5 months ago now. He's afraid of the state of world affairs, and bringing children into what he envisions as a nighmarish future. He is just starting to be able to stay in the room when I talk about the pregnancy/baby.
My family is supportive, but they are 3000 miles away. And lucky for me I do have a good support network of good girlfriends who are all excited to have another baby to pass around. Since the age gap b/t my kids will be 6 yrs, most of my friends have had 2 and are done, and they all have walking talking beings, and will be excited about a babe in arms.
But I want my dp to touch me. Talk to me. Be with me. Be excited for us. This is what makes me cry. I want him to have a crush on my belly.
 

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I'm in the exact same boat...

Here I am, 15 weeks pregnant and ordered on complete bedrest for the next month... so I go stay with my mom... the first day there she says so what exactly do you expect me to do for you?
:

Then we're there and she barely lifts a finger for anything... she's reclining in her chair and dd comes up to me and asks for a drink... she doesnt' move, acts like she didn't hear her. So I ask her loud enough for her to here, if she wants juice. Still no movement. So I get up and do it myself. She says nothing.

The last day I was there in that first week was like that too. In between was ok, but I guess she feels like my DH told me.. you're not COMPLETLY helpless you know


I came home this weekend and I'm staying home... she doesn't offer very much help (she does some, just not complete like I'm supposed to be) and her house is 80 degrees and crawling with bugs. And in the last week I was there, Abby had 5-7 bites on her, and we aren't sure from what.

My SIL, who seems to be the most concerned about it, but only when she sees me, never calls to see if I need help or anything.

 
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