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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We started EC at 6 months old, did a lot of diaper free time, used signaling, watched for signs and timed potty trips. He loved it, we only had misses when we were too distracted to notice he needed to go. By 18 months he walked around half naked and sat down on his potty by himself half the time, and was taken to the big potty by us the other half, we only used cloth nappys at night. We logically were thinking we'd be nappy free by 2 years. Instead he stopped sitting on it by himself, instead he goes in his pants or on the floor. If we suggest or ask or take him he always says no and quite often runs away. We have to put 3x as much energy into convincing, enticing, and entertaining him into sitting on the potty and staying there these days. He even hates me changing his cloth trainers.

ANy idea what happened? or How I can turn things around?

I'm trying not to feel frustrated, and not set expectations, I mean he's only 2. But it's becoming a struggle to both change him and potty him so I'm really stuck!

Thanks loves!
 

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That sounds tough. I can't say I've been there, and I hope someone else can jump in to give more advice to you.

Based on what you've said, I would hazard a guess that it is totally unrelated to ECing (as these things usually are!) and is a manifestation of some kind of behaviour reaction. He could be reacting to anything. Growing pains, emotional distress or imbalance in his life, just simple changes he isn't adapting to well (new people in, old people gone?). Has he experienced a significant illness in that time?

I would be asking myself: What has changed in this little child's life just before the problems started?

Of course, that won't necessarily get you back to ECing.... in that case, if it is behavioural, I think your best bet is not to bring it up yourself regularly or make it a big deal in any way. Just make it available. Everywhere. And keep talking to him about being wet, being dry, changing wet clothes, putting on nice comfy dry ones.

Maybe even invite him to do the changing and choosing which dry ones he wants to put on. It could help him to feel a bit of control over the process. Like a big kid's "wet hamper" and dry fresh clothes hamper for ECing changes. It is his job to put them away and find the new ones - gets to choose them himself.

Try getting a really cool new potty that is just his and just leaving it out one day, say nothing at all, and see how he responds to it over the next few days. Don't make a big deal out of anything. If he asks about it: Oh, a new potty, yeah I see it.... interesting. Hmmm, guess it could be fun to use. Who knows. I guess someone might have to try it someday to see if it works well.

Is he using lined underwear/trainers or just regular ones that get really wet immediately? I liked the padded ones for my child during the transition to independent pottying without parental help. That way little drips don't feel horrible but they can feel them and tell you they are a bit wet. Might reduce the fight and disappointment (for him) that he wet them. Sometimes kids just don't want to disappoint us. They get upset if they think they are. It's a vicious circle then.

Potty pauses are okay. Even for adults. Just keep the communication open and opportunities available and don't push or prod. Even if he uses wet clothes or nappies for a while yet, you haven't lost the EC communication you've built up for these past two years. It will come back and then, snap: He'll just do it.

Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you! I certainly hope that's true, and things will turn around soon. It just stinks cause I e been working really hard not to be pushy about things, and trying to make sure his father isn't either. But I see myself getting a bit aggressive lately. I've been chasing him down to take off his wet trainers now that he stopped telling me they're wet.

Have you ever worried about how demanding you are in the EC department. I can't really think of any thing else that would be bothering him other than natural milestones and perhaps our what may seem like constant nagging at this point to either change him or potty him :confused:

I'm going to get him a new potty for his birthday (Saturday) and see how that goes. I tried using big boy Spider-Man undies today thinking he might be excited to change those but he still didn't want me to touch them :see_no_evil:
 

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I agree that you don't want to be demanding so that he comes to hate or cringe at the thought of ECing or even just his own bodily functions (which would be worse). But you may still find yourself having to specify some very easy, simple rules about what happens when you are wet (no matter who notices first) and that no other "fun" activities will happen when you are wet until you get dry again. There are ways to say this in a dry-positive way, obviously. :)

I think that would depend on the child. It is always possible that he is just experiencing the old "can't be bothered, too much other fun stuff going on to pay attention" issue that so many kids go through. In that case, have a consistent approach that we get dry before starting (or continuing) a fun activity that really motivates him might actually be very productive. Just a thought....

I hope someone else who has experienced this kind of thing at this age can jump in, too.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
So update it's now been a few more weeks and he's become even more reluctant to be changed or pottied. How long do potty pauses usually last? Does anyone have any suggestions with how to approach him about being changed or pottied? I try telling him he's wet and it's itchy and uncomfortable and we need to get some new dry comfy pants before we do yadda yadda. Or I'll try to tell coax him onto the potty with toy and books etc. But it's not working and he hates me changing him no matter how I explain it. Which is weird because he used to love me taking his cloths off, he'd run around the house naked for as long as it took for me to catch him with a shirt. :persevere:
 

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BUMP!

I am sorry to see that things have not improved. Have you tried just doing naked around the house for longish periods of time? If it is becoming a clothing thing and not wanting to get dry, that is a lot harder to do when you are naked. Also it may make it easier to just sit down on a nearby potty....

I hope someone else can speak from experience on this one. It sounds like you have been doing the right things overall. I do know that for some chidden pauses have lasted a while, but I don't know what is typical for that age.
 
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