[MommaMoo]

DS has been peeing in his potty since he turned 2, but has always refused to poop in it. I know, it's supposed to be normal, and we just need to give him time. Well, we've been waiting for nearly 2 years now, and his refusal to poop in the potty is getting stronger, not weaker. He screams "Nooooo!" as loud as he can when we mention it. About a month ago I tried to just take away the diapers. I was hoping for a worst-case scenario of him holding it in for a day or two before running to the potty to poop. Well, he acted like a heroine addict facing withdrawal. He screamed and begged for "One more diaper!" and clung to me, shrieking, and ripped open the bedroom drawers, flinging clothes aside to search for diapers.

He kept bringing me diapers and laying on them. I figured it was a lost cause and put a diaper on him. I've tried to get him to tell me why he refuses to poop on the potty. He says he's afraid an alarm will go off. In our old apartment, the fire alarm went off in the building a few times and it scared him. So I told him we would take down all the alarms while he pooped, but that didn't do it. Anyway, he sits down to pee, so it's obvious to me that there is no difference between that and pooping, and nothing happens when he pees, so why would something happen when he poops? But gee, he just doesn't get it

We have tried to bribe him with everything imaginable, but nothing works. He can beg all day for a toy, but when we say we will give it to him if he poops in the potty, he just shrieks "No!" We just can't afford to keep buying him disposable diapers, and the cloth ones are completely disgusting and difficult to clean out, since our hot water doesn't work on our washing machine. Is there anything I can do?

 

[NicaG]

The only thing that worked for us was shameless bribing! And lots and lots of praise whenever ds used the potty for pooping. I made a star chart. We had a variety of incentives--small matchbox cars for each poop at the beginning, then 3 stars=toy, then 5, then 8. Is there some particular toy that your ds really likes? Ds really loved the star chart and thought it was really fun to mark stars on it. He was really proud of himself. We pretty much just took the diapers away finally, and then watched for signs so we could get him to the potty in time to increase his confidence. You might want to try giving a fiber supplement during the transition to decrease the chance of constipation derailing your efforts. I thought we'd never get there, but we did! Good luck!

 

[MamaJenese]

Does My DS live at your house too? No advice just sympathy

.

 

[Ruthla]

Does he use a little potty or the big toilet? If he's been refusing to use the little potty, try getting him to use the big toilet. If it's the big toilet he's not using, try changing something- a new potty seat, maybe a stepstool to rest his feet on while he sits there, etc. Just make some kind of change so it's different from the potty he's been avoiding.

 

[NicaG]

Also, I know you already tried taking the diapers away with bad results, but could you remove all the diapers and tell him they're gone? Tell him there's no more money to buy more? Or have some kind of fun party for getting rid of the cloth ones?

 

[MommaMoo]

NicaG: We have tried anything he's ever wanted. He loves Thomas Train, but even the promise of multiple trains doesn't interest him. If I put up a chart, I'm sure he would just take it down, scribble on it, and demand to have any stickers that go with it

I could try taking away the diapers again, but what's funny is that I would also have to take away a bunch of my kitchen towels. I use DS's old flat dipes in the kitchen, and he knows that he used to poop in them, so he'd go after those, too. I'm just worried about causing him psychological damage by "forcing" him to use the toilet. Also, I don't know how long I could hold out again, when he is in obvious distress, screaming and begging for a dipe. Do you ladies think I should try again?
MamaJanese: I noticed that our DS's are around the same age. Mine was born on 7/28/05. Is yours a Leo too? They can be terribly dramatic creatures.
Ruthla: He has a little potty that he uses, but we also have a seat for the big one if he wants it. I haven't tried to get him to poop on the big potty, but I'll give that a shot.
I wish he could just tell me why he won't freakin' go poop in the potty.

 

[EVC]

This is my dd too. So no advice, just sympathy

 

[MommaMoo]

Well, I'm relieved to read that at least two more mamas have the same poopy issue. I suppose it's probably considered normal, but still a total PITA to deal with.

 

[fritz]

Hey, at least your DS will pee on the potty. That's great! It's also nice that you were able to get something of an answer from him as to why he doesn't want to. My just-turned 4yo isn't being that communicative yet.

 

[laohaire]

Count me in, too - DD is 3.5, pees reliably in the potty, and asks for a diaper to poop in. Insert holy terror if we suggest she poop in the potty. She wants to go to preschool, and I've started explaining to her that the teachers there will not put a diaper on her, and that she is required to poop in the potty if she wants to go to preschool. That seems to be having an effect, though I haven't pushed it hard enough for a potty poop to happen. But I mean, she seems to be thinking about it, and has indicated that she might be willing to take that step to go to preschool. I don't think her issue is fear-related, but I think she a) likes to push her tummy against the diaper in order to poop, and b) she likes to play while she poops, and the diaper offers her freedom of movement.

 

[MommaMoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by laohaire Count me in, too - DD is 3.5, pees reliably in the potty, and asks for a diaper to poop in. Insert holy terror if we suggest she poop in the potty. She wants to go to preschool, and I've started explaining to her that the teachers there will not put a diaper on her, and that she is required to poop in the potty if she wants to go to preschool. That seems to be having an effect, though I haven't pushed it hard enough for a potty poop to happen. But I mean, she seems to be thinking about it, and has indicated that she might be willing to take that step to go to preschool. I don't think her issue is fear-related, but I think she a) likes to push her tummy against the diaper in order to poop, and b) she likes to play while she poops, and the diaper offers her freedom of movement.

I have a suggestion that might help. In my potty learning research, I read that if your LO likes to play while pooping, you could try having them poop only while in the bathroom. That could be a first step. I started it with DS a while ago, and now he just stands in the bathroom. Oh, that's another thing. He has trouble with the concept of pooping while sitting. That's so funny-how someone can poop while standing is beyond me.

 

[fritz]

My DS has _always_ pooped while standing, since he was able to walk/run on his own...so since around 12 mos? It actually started out that he was trying to not poop--he was standing up on his toes fighting it. That progressed to holding my hands (while he was still standing). He doesn't fight it anymore, but he still stands and holds my hands. He doesn't believe us that it's easier to poop when you squat or sit. Living proof that it can be done (not that it's easy or anything). =)

 

[LuxPerpetua]

I have a stand up pooper too! She's been pee trained since 2 but will not poop on the potty--she always asks for a diaper. I have no idea what to do either but just wait it out. Lots of commiseration headed your way!

 

[snoopy5386]

have you tried the progressive approach - he can poop in a diaper but only in the bathroom, then in a diaper, in the bathroom, but sitting on the toilet, then in a diaper, in the bathroom on the toilet with a hole cut in the diaper, then finally no diaper. Also, do you flush the poop? Does he see you do this? Does he flush it? Might want to try that too.

 

[MommaMoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by snoopy5386 have you tried the progressive approach - he can poop in a diaper but only in the bathroom, then in a diaper, in the bathroom, but sitting on the toilet, then in a diaper, in the bathroom on the toilet with a hole cut in the diaper, then finally no diaper. Also, do you flush the poop? Does he see you do this? Does he flush it? Might want to try that too.

Well, he's always been insistent about flushing his poop, and he can poop while squatting. I'll try cutting a hole in his diaper. I forgot about that one. He's actually been trying all day to poop in the potty.

I told him we have 6 Thomas Trains and 2 movies for him if he does it. His grandma sent them for Easter, but first I'll try them out as a bribery tool

 

[arniflora]

My son (almost 4.5) still has yet to poop in the potty. Pees no problem, but that took a long time too. When he was 18 months, he suddenly had an interest in the potty and I thought, "sweet!" Fast forward 2.5 years... He declared that when he turned 4 he would pee in the potty. Ta da! His 4th b-day, underwear and, thus far, zero accidents. So I've asked him, when do you think you'll poop in the potty? He said, "when I'm 5. I need to be a bigger kid." I've pointed out that (per his own words) he is a big kid, and I know he can do it.

He almost exclusively poops during quiet time after lunch, (I change him into training pants for that sole purpose) and I've tried to think of a way to have him use the potty at that time. While some pp's have standing poopers, my ds prefers to be in the "butt up" position on the floor. Seems counter-productive (that whole gravity thing) but that's how he does it. He also plays while pooping. Having him sit on the potty while reading or coloring doesn't work.....

I really like the ideas of having him physically be in the bathroom until he poops, or having him sit on the potty with his training pants on... It's just getting old. And so is he! I've waited this long, so I'll obviously wait until he's truly ready, but at this point I might use a little more assertive suggesting.

I just keep reminding myself: he will poop in the potty before he goes to high schoo! LOL

 

[MommaMoo]

:Yes! Pooping in the potty has been achieved! He started freaking out again today, looking for a diaper, and I said I'd only give him one if I could cut a hole in the bottom and he would have to poop on the potty. It worked right away. Hooray!!! Tomorrow is the next step-diaper free!!