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Did anyone have a toddler that seemed to get the idea from everyone else that he/ she will be going to school soon and you had other plans? DS is 3.5 and really starting to talk about school and the school bus and all that jazz. We have lots of freinds his age, he is in a little ballet/tap class 45 min one day a week and it is pretty laid back, no uppity or rigid rules. I am really wanting to do a combination of homeschool/unschooling. How did you prepare your child for not going to a "school house" or elementary. I have no trouble telling everyone else to buzz off about homeschool but it does involve him! Would you change your mind if your kid wanted to go?
 

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I think it is pretty common at that age/stage. It's hard - but not impossible -to ignore the 'school machine'.<br>
When my twins went through that stage we stepped up the homeschool group and day time activities, we talked about what they wanted from school and figured out a way to do some of that (workbooks, recess and seeing friends were the big ones on the list). I talked about all the things they would be missing in school and that what they would get in school they were also getting at home with me.<br>
I avoided almost all references to school in books and tv (except magic school bus which I showed the kids was far more like homeschooling than school).<br>
Honestly - I wouldn't let a 3.5 year old decide about school. I don't think at that age they have enough information to make an informed choice and that it is more the societal influence than truly wanting school that your are hearing.<br>
Good luck<br>
Karen
 

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I don't see what the big deal is if your 3.5yo wants to fantasize about going to school when she's bigger. Right now it's just role-playing stuff, along the lines of playing house, or pretending to be a cowboy or a mermaid. I would certainly talk about HSing but I wouldn't worry too much about it at this point.<br><br>
When she's 5 and ready for kindergarten, you can REALLY play up the advantages of HSing and how much better it is to get to stay home with Mommy.
 

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My ds is 4, and he sometimes goes through phases of wanting to go to school. My mother and some teacher aunts tell him that school is the best thing ever. His father tells him that school is horrible and bad and torturous. I tell him that i didn't like school very much when i was younger, but i'm enjoying college right now because grown-up school is different. I tell him i want him to stay home with me and we can learn together in our own way for awhile longer, but if he really wants to try it when he's older we will find a school for him (Waldorf or Montessori.) We are planning to move later in the summer, and our new town has homeschool/unschool groups so he'll get to be with other kids who learn like we do.<br>
I think he imagines school being like the ancient Barney videos my mom lets him watch. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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YES! My dd talks alot about how she can't wait to go to school. I try not to let it bother me, but it does. I found where it's coming from, I think - Sesame St. She doesn't watch it often but I've noticed with their new "ready to learn" funding they are really pushing the wonderfulness of school.
 

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My 5yo dd talks about going to school often. She wants to go to the catholic school that her cousins attend.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: I talk positively about homeschooling and school but let her know that going to school isn't the best choice for her or the family. She wants to have recess and pack a lunch. She doesn't understand that she would be sitting at a desk quietly the rest of the time. I think it's almost normal for them to be excited about going to school. It's so hyped up by media and people that you encounter on a daily basis. It is made to sound like so much fun.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Ruthla</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8124334"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't see what the big deal is if your 3.5yo wants to fantasize about going to school when she's bigger. Right now it's just role-playing stuff, along the lines of playing house, or pretending to be a cowboy or a mermaid. I would certainly talk about HSing but I wouldn't worry too much about it at this point.<br><br>
When she's 5 and ready for kindergarten, you can REALLY play up the advantages of HSing and how much better it is to get to stay home with Mommy.</div>
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In Ontario 3.5 and 4 year olds can go to junior kindegarden.<br>
Karen
 

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My dd went through a phase like that. I worried, too. But she is 6 now and in hs kindergarten. We have found other children who also hs so she doesn't feel like the only lonely one not getting on a yellow bus. We occasionally take "field trips" in town on the bus. Plus, at the end we get lunch out, a trip to the library and some running around at the farmer's market..much better than worksheets in a quiet classroom! I agree that I wouldn't worry too much at this age. Also, what a 3.5 year old knows about school is very different than what you know. At some point I'd include my dd in a decision about whether to attend public school if she was keen on the idea, but not at 6! Hopefully I won't be blindsidded by that until I know she is ready to make an informed decision!! Good Luck. I think somewhere there is a book list for kids who homeschool. Maybe on a sticky? The books listed are great role models for kids who learn in settings other than school.
 

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this is hard<br><br>
my oldest went to public school for K and 1st, and it was awful. Tears every day trying to get him to go, getting bullied, had 2 hours of homework every night. But somehow, all he remembers now, over 2 years later, is the field trips and recess. Now I am glad he doesnt have the bad memories, but occasionally he will still ask about "going back to school" and I remind him about how much freedom he has now. Its frustrating. Sometimes I feel like Im not doing enough, or not making it fun enough.<br>
My DD has never been in a school, but she still has visions of playtime and school buses and snacks. A far cry from the real thing.<br>
The thing that really gets me. Is when the neighbor kids try to get them to want to go to school. That and they "play school" which is usually recess and lunchtime.<br><br>
Sigh.<br><br>
is there a local homeschool group you can go that has group events you can take your DD to and show her how much fun homeschooling is?
 

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Well my son (5 in August) has never really wanted to go to "school".<br>
He has askd to ride the bus and I told him it goes to "school" and we do school at home. He said "can you go on the bus?" and I said no of course and that I could not attend school either. And he said "I dont want to ride the bus."<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
But, sicne then he has asked to ride a bus to the zoo, which we will do when he is able to sit still.<br><br>
From what I have heard it is very common at this age to ask to go to school.<br>
I would maybe take hi on the bus, pack a backpack.. you know all the "school" things.<br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Would you change your mind if your kid wanted to go?</td>
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No, at this age they dont understand what school really is and you cant explain it to them. I would maybe.. MAYBE.. when he is a teen. I will have to cross that bridge when we get there.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I see your point about how they don't have the concept of what they are really missing. I think I might ditch the school bus toys though! He has been on a city bus ride but it was a while back. I don't mind riding the bus, I did quite a bit in college. The idea about getting some kids books with homeschooling in them is a good idea, I will try going with that. He is the extroverted and very sociable type (I am not) so I am trying to be sensitive to the part where he figures out he is not doing what most of our friends are doing.
 

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Another thing is when he talks about what he misses out on since he is not in public school, talk about what he does get to do since he is homeschooled. Just like:<br><br>
Big yellow bus to school- Public bus to park or zoo<br>
Backpack to school- backpack to park with picnic<br>
Recess time with friends- park play date<br>
Back to school shopping- Homeschool shopping supplies<br><br>
Hope that helps!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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Actually, I had that conversation with my DD today. The little girl I watch said she was going to a new school. I said yes, she was, but not next year, she would probably start kindergarten the year after (when she's five). DD said she was going to go to school, too, and I gently corrected her by saying "No, you don't have to go to school, you're going to be homeschooled, remember?" And she was like, oh, yeah. I also pointed out that she'd go to a homeschool group and do fun things with them.
 

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We had a very similar situation with our 3 1/2 yo. He loves school buses, and talks about going to school, etc. He must get it through tv, and also from discussions of what school buses are, etc. I explained to him that some kids go to an institutional school, and a little about what that's like, and others "stay at home" for school. Our family will do school at home, but we could ride the public bus sometimes if he wants to.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Ruthla</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8124334"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't see what the big deal is if your 3.5yo wants to fantasize about going to school when she's bigger. Right now it's just role-playing stuff, along the lines of playing house, or pretending to be a cowboy or a mermaid. I would certainly talk about HSing but I wouldn't worry too much about it at this point.</div>
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Well, for my 3.5 yo, I don't think she see's it as roleplaying. Yes, this is what her favorite characters do, thus she will also do it (she's, unfortunately, as literal in thought as dh. ) I have mentioned to her, "But school might be at home." It's not that she's turned off, just not as enthusiastic about it as it was portrayed in her stories (be it on TV or from a book).<br><br>
Part of the problem is that dh and I haven't come to terms yet on whether or not we'll homeschool. I want to, he's not so keen on it. Since he's the SAHP, I'm having an uphill battle on this. I think we can easily do it -- he focuses on some major hands-on activity during the day, I cover the stories/language items at night. It's a much cheaper alternative to the local montessories and I feel better that she's not in our local public schools (that are overcrowded, underfunded, and under scrutiny at the moment for misappropriation of funding.)
 

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I wouldn't let my child attend public school, even if they all out BEGGED. I know what's best for them. That said, I think it's really quite normal for a 3 YO to think like that..."school" is all over, featured on most children's programming, etc. I think it will likely pass. Mine are horrified by the thought of school! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I'd just spend time with them discussiong why you think HSing is best & why you're making that choice.
 

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I asked my four year old (due to start school in September) why she wants to go to school. First reason, she wants to play at their playground, which I admit is great. Second, she wants to know what school is like. Oh, and we're practically next door to the school.<br><br>
As far as schools are concerned our local one isn't bad, so I'm not totally against sending her there. Perhaps this is why I have a hard time putting my foot down<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">?<br><br>
We are 'trying out' home schooling right now, and she's having a great time, but still wants to go to school in the autumn. Got about three months to decide which is more important, my beliefs or taking her seriously.
 
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