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3 year old regressing and won't potty train

515 Views 4 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  KiraMisu1999
Our 3 year, 3 month old son seems to have taken a turn. Our younger son is just now a year old and all of a sudden, older son has turned into "a baby". He won't feed himself, won't dress himself anymore, mimics the baby when he cries, sits on me when I nurse the baby, and whines, whines, whines. He refuses to use the potty. That has been a work in progress, but when we occasionally get him to sit on it AND by chance he pees or poops, he will refuse to sit on it for a week at a time, even with huge praise from everyone for going on the potty.

I spend a lot of time with him. We have special mommy/son times. When the younger son naps, I shut of the outside stuff and do things with our older son. I try to encourage all of his "big boy" behavior. Yet he acts like his little brother most of the time and even tells me he is the baby.

I know much of this is normal, but what do I do? My husband is getting angry with him which does NOT work and want to model some other behavior, but don't know what to model. Any sugggestions?
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This may sound counterintuitive, but something to try may be to lay off praising so much the "big boy" stuff for awhile and let him be a "baby". Let him wear diapers/pullups, offer to feed him, etc. BUT, then he also has to be on the baby's routine. So when the baby goes down for a nap, he has to go to sleep too because "remember, you are a baby too, right? and babies need a lot of sleep." Also, babies can only do "baby" things, not cool stuff like a "big kid", so if he wants to be a baby, fine, but then he can't do all the fun stuff he usually does too. I am guessing he may change his mind after a little while of that and remembering all the cool things and privileges that come with being older.
Lay off the praising and making a big deal about things. We started potty training my daughter around 2 but then she would regress. She went back and forth between working on potty training and refusing. She did that forever and ended up potty training herself at 4 but only after we pretty much let it go. With my daughter, I follow her lead. If she woke up and wanted to be a big girl, then that is what we did. If she woke up and wanted to be a baby, then that is what we did. The less we fussed about it, the better things got. Even now, she will have days where she will regress. I just go with it and she snaps out of it on her own.
I totally agree with the first reply. Though I know it seems to encourage teh baby behavior.My 3.5 year old went through a phase of being a baby again andit drove me BATTY. He went from being totally potty trained to wearing diapers and pull ups all day long, he went from no binkies at all to a binky hanging out of his mouth 24 hours a day. He went from adult glassesto bottles! ARRGGGHHH!!!! I finally threw up my handsand waved the white flag and gave in, I kept the cool big boy undies right in plain view but let him wear his dipes. I handed over the bottles.I went withit. And ya know what?Itturned out he got bored with it pretty fast. He turns 4 next month and he is onlyin pull ups at night, recentlygave up binkies this past week and hasn't had a bottle in a month! I think he was just feeling unsure about this whole growing up businessbut eventually realized it has it's benefits.
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Thanks everyone. That does seem to make sense. I've tried to let the potty-training thing go, but I have days I get really mad about it. My husband just seems to be at a loss for any other way to deal with it. The angrier I get, the worse it gets, the worse I feel, and the more I know I'm not helping him grow.
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