[matts_mamamama]

Cross posted in toddlers, but maybe I'll have better luck here?

My son has been very upset and either wants to come with us or doesn't want us to leave for the past few weeks. He used to go to daycare 3x a week, but we stopped that in late May. In mid June we hired a babysitter for 6hrs a day, 2x a week. He has a lot of fun with her, but he's been getting progressively clingy with both me and dh. And when we both leave, he totally freaks out (for about 5 minutes, then he's fine, although he does ask for us more than ever)

We don't leave him a lot, by any means. And lately, he's been waking up with bad dreams screaming "I want to go with him/her" talking about us leaving.

I feel horrible. Is something wrong? He'll be 3 in 3 weeks - is this "normal" behavior?????

 

[matts_mamamama]

Bump.....

 

[OTMomma]

I think at 2 and 3 kids can develope all kinds of weird fears and anxieties. I remember at 2 my dd went through a long phase of never wanting to be seperated from me, which was pretty much gone by 3.5. For us, the anxiety became extreem after we moved- dd had a hard time adjusting to the new home and the fact we were so far away from her grandparents and extended family. It was a really difficult adjustment. My technique to get through it was to basically do my best to give her what she needed, a lot of time with me. It seemed that over time she was able to move on.

So has your son had any big life changes that might be contributing? Has he heard any stories of children getting lost/seperated from their parents that might be worrying him? Is this an issue of needing contact with you, or just not wanting to miss what you might do while you are out? Or does he infact dislike the new babysitter?

Some things to think about

 

[lucsmama]

i have a clingy 3 year old. he goes through phases of what you described. about a month before he was three he just got so upset if i had to leave. i am sahm, so it is not like i leave him often. he begged and begged to come with me to a dr's appt. he was so upset i finally told he could come if he could be completely quiet and "read" his book. he promised and boy did he deliver too. then a couple months later (he is now a month over three) he says bye, see ya, with a big smile anytime i leave. so i guess depending on what is going on developmentally, he feels more or less comfortable. another suggestion, which worked great when my son was going through the anxiety phase, was to warn him ahead of time and then give him a stuffed animal that he really likes. i would tell him, i gave bear lots of extra hugs and kisses, so if you miss me while i am gone, bear will be here to give you a hug. that helped him a lot.

good luck!