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I gotta ask here.<br>
On another message board, a mother explained that her 3 year old just threw her entire plate of breakfast in thhe trash because it wasn't pancakes. WWYD? A majority, maybe 90%, said timeout plus no food at all until lunchtime.<br>
A bunch of people also said their child would get "their butt popped."<br><br>
We are trying to use timeout less in our house because they really don't work that well. And Im reading "Unconditional Parenting." But, even aside from that I just don't think that a timeout has anything to do with the behavior. And I would NEVER refuse food from my kids. They may not get what they want, but healthy foods are never withheld. Plus, the behavior that would come from my daughter not eating would be way worse than a wasted breakfast.
 

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I would have the child tell me when she was hungry, and just take it from there. I consider pancakes to be more of a dessert than a breakfast food, so that wouldn't be on the table for breakfast, but we might be able to do "breakfast for dinner" and incorporate pancakes at some point that week.
 

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No food to snack time. (snack time might be a little earlier) But the natural consequence for tossing your food is no food.<br><br>
But I would act more preventively.<br><br>
I would include her in decision making on breakfast and helping make breakfast.<br><br>
I would also reevaluate time between wake up to breakfast time. Some people need to get up an eat right away. Others need more time before wake up and meal.<br><br>
Some people need a glass of juice and a piece of toast before breakfast. Snack then wait an half our or so for the actual meal.<br><br>
I found with my kids there was something more behind the behavior.
 

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My first instinct would be to serve nothing else until snack time, but she is so young and that is an angry response. I would have said there are no pancakes and this is what is for breakfast then served another serving of what is for breakfast and sat with her to make sure it wasn't thrown away again. If you can offer her a choice between two things next time then I think that is a good idea for next time.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Marsupialmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15418928"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">No food to snack time. (snack time might be a little earlier) But the natural consequence for tossing your food is no food.<br><br>
But I would act more preventively.<br><br>
I would include her in decision making on breakfast and helping make breakfast.<br><br>
I would also reevaluate time between wake up to breakfast time. Some people need to get up an eat right away. Others need more time before wake up and meal.<br><br>
Some people need a glass of juice and a piece of toast before breakfast. Snack then wait an half our or so for the actual meal.<br><br>
I found with my kids there was something more behind the behavior.</div>
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This really was my thought. We honestly have never had major food issues so I can't respond from firsthand experience, but our daughter is always helping us prepare meals and healthy snacks are always available.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Marsupialmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15418928"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">No food to snack time. (snack time might be a little earlier) But the natural consequence for tossing your food is no food.<br><br>
But I would act more preventively.<br><br>
I would include her in decision making on breakfast and helping make breakfast.<br><br>
I would also reevaluate time between wake up to breakfast time. Some people need to get up an eat right away. Others need more time before wake up and meal.<br><br>
Some people need a glass of juice and a piece of toast before breakfast. Snack then wait an half our or so for the actual meal.<br><br>
I found with my kids there was something more behind the behavior.</div>
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That. I leave breakfast and lunch completely up to my kids, as long as the choices are something I can deal with. So that probably wouldn't have happened at my house anyway.
 

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My DD has done similar to this (not through anger but through wanting to go play and therefore "being done" after one bite and tossing her food to pre-empt any discussion about it!). I don't do anything. I provided food, she ate what she wanted to eat. So for us that's not really a discipline issue, except that we don't appreciate/encourage wastefulness with food, so we might talk about that.<br><br>
I don't "serve" snacks - i serve 3 meals and snacks are available all day for the taking, so she most likely, in those cases when this happened, played for an hour then decided to grab herself some fruit or a carrot or something. For us it's no biggie, but i am very wary of food issues because my mother had a crazy relationship with food and though i managed to survive mainly my sister has been morbidly obese for most of her life and has multiple illnesses associated with that and it's mainly due to the fact that my mother had these crazy views and rituals which messed her relationship with food up so badly.<br><br>
I'm not suggesting that any approach would automatically do that! I just mean that's why i do what i do.
 

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I am trying to imagine how the kid gets down from the table and to the trash can with a plate without Mom or Dad noticing? In other words, how did it happen in the first place?
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>NiteNicole</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15419307"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I am trying to imagine how the kid gets down from the table and to the trash can with a plate without Mom or Dad noticing? In other words, how did it happen in the first place?</div>
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Yeah I thought that was strange, too. It seems like it would be easy to catch the kid on the way to the trash and say, "Hold on, let's stick that in the fridge in case you want it later" or something.
 

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My DD decides what she wants for breakfast and when she wants it, so it wouldn't happen here. She usually gets a small serving and can have more. If she did throw a plate of food, depending on what it was, I might have a talk about wasting food and checking to see if anyone else wanted it first.<br><br>
We don't use punitive discipline, but we don't make food an issue at all. It's available, DD can eat it or not. Too many people are obese or have other eating problems.
 
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