[Dominique]

My dd just turned 3 and man she is a handful this past week. She seems to be transitioning from naps to no naps, but the thing is that at night when it's time for bed she becomes a lunatic. She's bouncing off the walls, hyperactive. I'm guessing she's too tired, but it's frustrating because I end up having to really get firm with her in order to get her to put her pjs on, have her snack, during the day she's so easy

does anyone know how much sleep a 3 year old really needs?

It seems that no matter whether she goes to bed at 8pm or 10-11pm she wakes up at 8am. I suppose I might need to just start putting her to bed earlier. Any insight/experience with this?

 

[Ruthla]

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[stirringleaf]

all i can say is i am in the same boat! i got ds to bed tonight at 10:30 and that was after he had no nap and i was trying to get him to bed since 7:30!

i kept giving up and letting him run around, waited for him to lose steam.... but it never happned. finally i picked him up and started talking to him about how much i love to cuddle him and carry him, and started singing to him like when he was a baby , while i walked around the house. ( without mentioning the dreaded BEDTIME word) he got really relaxed and i was FINALLY able to convince him to go lay down with me

that said, my only insight into this new phase of going on 3, is that while theres a whole bunch of "grown up" stuff going on for them , hence transition power struggles over jammies and such, there is a certain amount of insecurity in every growth phase. i have noticed DS is really into pretending he is a baby, for instance, so i have been taking advantage of it, and get him to do stuff by pretending hes a baby, with extra cuddles and goo-goo kind of talk which i think he needs right now anyway so its win-win.

i dont know how much sleep they are supposed to have, but i do think i also need to just make a certain bed time and stick to it no matter what--

BTW when we play baby i also tell him how i think its so wonderful he is growing up and i will always cuddle him, that i love to cuddle my big boy too, etc FWIW

 

[USAmma]

My dd goes to bed at 8:30-9 but won't fall asleep until 10 at least. She comes into our bed at around 3 AM and starts kicking dh. She'll wake up for good at 5-6:30. We also have a baby who wakes 3-5 times a night so I can relate to the lack of sleep. Maybe some chamomile tea and a hot bath would do the trick. With my dd the rule is that once the lights are out she has to stay in bed even if she sings to herself or whatever.

Darshani

 

[stirringleaf]

darshani, how do you enforce your rule about staying in bed?

i am still nursing DS but just to bed at night and sometimes in the A.M, or if he wakesup in the middle of the night (WHICH I MUST ADD HE HAS JUST STOPPED DOING!!!!!! WOOOO HOOOOOOO he used to wake 5-6 times!!!)

but i want to nurse, then just get him to go to sleep on his own. he just gets up and if we try to put him back in bed its a crying yelling tantrumy battle. honestly i end up feeling really cruel putting him back in bed over and over...i know its not cruel, i actually will lay there with him during it, but i just feel that way anyway.... a couple times he has williinly laid there and read books by himself for a long time but thats really rare. so any tips would be great!

 

[USAmma]

Quote:

Originally Posted by stirringleaf darshani, how do you enforce your rule about staying in bed?

I realized one day that she was turning into a great manipulator. That she really didn't need that extra cup of water, that she had already been to the bathroom, etc. So basically if she gets out of bed, she gets escorted back to bed and is warned that next time the door will be shut. She knows that she can call out to us, but to prevent her from doing it over and over, she gets to call out and have us come two times and that's it. It sounds cruel but it was the matter of finding a balance between her needs and mine. I need to sleep, I need adult time in the evenings so I can do some extra housework in peace while watching TV or whatever. If I don't have my time at least an hour a day, I start to get grouchy and take it out on everyone.

BTW it only took a couple times of closing her door for her to get the point that we would follow through each and every time. We only close it for about 10 mins, not all night long.

I'm still wishing she didn't come to our bed in the wee hours, but I sense that she still has a need to be close to us. Maybe we'll work on that next year.

Darshani

 

[Dominique]

Quote:

Originally Posted by USAmma I realized one day that she was turning into a great manipulator. That she really didn't need that extra cup of water, Darshani

Boy can I relate to that! Her big thing now, is after 5 minutes of the lights being off "mommy I need some water". Then I turn on the light and it takes her 20 minutes to drink her water. I'm on to her though.

Anyway, I feel the same as you, I am finding this past 2 weeks I am getting seriously frustrated because without the naps, i get NO time to myself to just sit or read or do whatever becuase she's going to bed so late, by the time I get her to sleep, I'm going to bed too, then I go to bed angry.

To top it off, she sleeps with us, and she's been getting up 5-6 times/night and wants to nurse. I'm going to night wean her because I am so seriously sick of nursing and it's become totally negative for me. She's 3 and I don't feel she needs to nurse anymore. Last night she didn't sleep more than 1 hour at a time without needing me to come over and cuddle/nurse her. ARRGGGGHHHH.

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I need to do some changes here. DH is off for a week after today so I'm going to enlist him to help me with the night weaning and maybe my sanity will come back.