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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Any ideas for helping her?<br><br>
She is capable of holding it, so having an accident isn't the issue. She says she is scared to go on the toilet or small potty, although she cannot explain what it is she is scared of (she has said she's scared of seeing the poop, but that's not it because she sees it when I dump it off her diaper into the toilet, and she flushes it down, laughing!). she has been urinating in the toilet regularly for about... five months or so? She wears underwear all the time in the day, except at naptime. She also wears a diaper overnight. She will wait and then poop after her nap, or she'll ask for a diaper if she's not had a nap (or she'll go in the morning in the diaper she wore overnight).<br><br>
She has great control, and she's not afraid to pee in the toilet, so I can't figure this out. Any ideas? I have tried the idea of going somewhere fun to celebrate once she does it, but no dice. Also, she did poop in the toilet on her birthday, because she told us she'd do it when she turned three. She didn't seem scared then... but now she says she is. She seems to think "on my birthday" meant she'd just poop on the toilet once on her birthday and then never again.
 

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I have heard of this. I saw an article in Mothering some time ago when the dad let dd poop on a paper towel on the floor for awhile until she got over it. Not sure if that would be an option for you, but it is a thought.
 

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We had the exact same issue with our daughter.<br><br>
She absolutely refused to poo in anything other than a diaper. You are waaay ahead of us because there is no way mine would go on a potty ever! She would freak out at the prospect. She would even hide when she went in a diaper.<br><br>
I did realize that it stemmed from an incident when she was one and she was having a bath and did a poo. Her dad and I thought this was really funny at the time and probably had an over the top reaction which completely freaked her out, resulting in pooing issues.<br><br>
I know this isn't a miracle cure that I am going to tell you about but finally the only thing that worked for us was to completely ignore the issue. I had tried everything from positive feedback, reward charts, bribes (against my parenting philosophy!) and nothing worked. Once we left it alone, it became a non issue and she was able to feel some personal control over it.<br><br>
She did eventually (2 months after ignoring) say to me one day that she was done with diapers. From that day on she was.<br><br>
She still does have some issues with pooing and will withhold for upt to 3 days at a time and is unhappy to be going but she does. Just the other day she talked about doing a bad thing as a baby "pooing in the bath".<br><br>
It was never presented as "bad" at all but she saw our reaction as such and it stuck with her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Dena</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11615149"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have heard of this. I saw an article in Mothering some time ago when the dad let dd poop on a paper towel on the floor for awhile until she got over it. Not sure if that would be an option for you, but it is a thought.</div>
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Thanks, I'll ask her about this. She probably won't... I tried to get her to go on a cloth diaper (prefold) laid out across the little potty, and she won't even poop in her diaper while sitting on the potty fully clothed. I think anything other than in her diaper while standing freaks her out.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Hannahsmummy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11615283"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I know this isn't a miracle cure that I am going to tell you about but finally the only thing that worked for us was to completely ignore the issue. I had tried everything from positive feedback, reward charts, bribes (against my parenting philosophy!) and nothing worked. Once we left it alone, it became a non issue and she was able to feel some personal control over it.</div>
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I have been trying not to mention pooping in the potty to her lately... maybe it will help eventually. Other relatives mention it, though... they always ask if she's pooping in the potty yet.<br><br>
Thanks!
 

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DS had this problem. We began by saying that everyone poops in the bathroom, so when he requested his diaper, we would put it on in the bathroom and he would poop in there. Dr. Sears says you can try to get your child to sit and poop on the toilet still wearing a diaper. Honestly, for DS I think he really liked standing, and the sitting position felt weird to him.<br><br>
We went for a straight-out bribe in the end. He really wanted this Diego Rescue Center (which normally we would never buy), and I told him after he pooped in the potty five times, we would get it. He just needed to work through that initial anxiety. (Granted, it probably took three months after the offer for him to get the Diego toy, but he did it and we never looked back!)<br><br>
-e
 

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We had to do a combo of ignoring it and bribes to get DS to do it too. We are working on it now with DD. She hates having me clean her up after a poopy diaper, so I remind her how much easier it would be if she went on the potty. She pees fine if I take her, but never tells me she needs to go. Being patient is hard as you know they CAN do it, but don't WANT to, but then I try to see it from the perspective of she won't be doing this as a teenager, right? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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All my kids had different needs when it came to pooping on potty. My dd was 4 before she was using it regularly. For her it was a control issue. Once we ignored the "issue" and stopped making a big deal about it she was fine. She is now 17 is using the potty just fine <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">.<br><br>
ds6 still needs me (and only me) to hold while pooping. He has a stressed look on his face when he goes (not constipated). He will go at school or with a sitter or dad and not need to be held. When I am not home he takes care of his bathroom needs alone.<br><br>
ds4 has a need to squat to poop. So, he gets naked, stands on the big potty squats down and goes. He also has to have privacy and would prefer a locked door if we allowed it.<br><br>
Point - let her have the diaper, don't worry she will grow out of it.<br><br>
My mom always says about my kids, don't make a big deal out of it. If they don't grow out of it, just let their spouses deal with it!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
maggie
 

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All i can say is I understand. My ds pooped in his diaper in a corner. When ever things were too quiet, I went looking for him knowing he was pooping. All I can say is that it took time. about 3 months to get him to ppoop on the potty. We got him a potty seat for the toilet, kept trying with him, there were tears on some days but eventually he started doing it consistently. He was around 3yo as well. I feel for ya
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Hannahsmummy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11615283"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We had the exact same issue with our daughter.<br><br>
She absolutely refused to poo in anything other than a diaper. You are waaay ahead of us because there is no way mine would go on a potty ever! She would freak out at the prospect. She would even hide when she went in a diaper.<br><br>
I did realize that it stemmed from an incident when she was one and she was having a bath and did a poo. Her dad and I thought this was really funny at the time and probably had an over the top reaction which completely freaked her out, resulting in pooing issues.<br><br>
I know this isn't a miracle cure that I am going to tell you about but finally the only thing that worked for us was to completely ignore the issue. I had tried everything from positive feedback, reward charts, bribes (against my parenting philosophy!) and nothing worked. Once we left it alone, it became a non issue and she was able to feel some personal control over it.<br><br>
She did eventually (2 months after ignoring) say to me one day that she was done with diapers. From that day on she was.<br><br>
She still does have some issues with pooing and will withhold for upt to 3 days at a time and is unhappy to be going but she does. Just the other day she talked about doing a bad thing as a baby "pooing in the bath".<br><br><b>It was never presented as "bad" at all but she saw our reaction as such and it stuck with her.</b></div>
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We were sort of like this but eventually she wouldn't even go in her diaper. We ended up rewarding her with a Littlest Pet Shop every time she went. It kept the enema, suppository, ER nightmare from coming back. She still freaks out when she poops. She thinks it is gross and flips when you flush thinking the toilet is going to over flow.
 
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