30-something Mamas TTC #2 or 3 December

I'm 37 and we're starting TTC (tonight ) for #3. I conceived DS1 when I was almost 34 and DS2 right after I turned 35. We have never had to TTC before--it just happened as soon as we said, "Let's just see what happens..."--both times! I'm a little freaked about about "trying," but at least it should be fun.

We are taking a few minor measures to TTC a girl, but will be thrilled either way.

It is 4am here and I got a rude awakening at 3:30 am. AF came two days late and I am having KILLER cramps. This was our first cycle TTC #2. (#1 was a happy oops!) I just can't seemto internalize the fact that we failed to concieve on our first shot. I would have bet money on it working.

I temped my first cycle in September after having my IUD removed (copper, non-hormonal) because I wanted to give my uterus a cycle without it, and I got a definate shift at ovulation with lots of EWCM. We BD at the "right" times and I thought for sure we had succeeded til I woke up yesterday morning with a temperature drop. I tried to reason it all day yesterday as a late implantation dip.

What went wrong???? I'll kill myself wondering. The WORST part about trying again is the fact that my cycles are so freaking long I only get about half the chances to conceive that most do. I didn't ovulate til day 32 in a 42 day cycle my first time charting and on day 31 on a 44 day cycle this last time. Why can't I just have 28 day cycles?!?!?!

My DH is out of town all week on business so poor DD is going to end up bearing the brunt of my neediness for the rest of the week. I should just be happy I have one, right? And this WAS only our first cycle trying. (I need to remind myself that I am a control freak perfectionist and I need to let go.)

So, what are the things that could have gone wrong? What can I do to better our chances next time? My first inclination is to have DH go have his sperm tested and for me to inform myself about the various ways to increase my chances of catching an egg...

Thanks for listening. I know so many of you try time and time again and have been at this longer than many. For that you have my sincerest love and admiration now that I know what you go through.

MyZoeJane. I'm sure it was a just a fluke that things didn't go as you expected. I completely understand your sadness and frustration. It sounds like our previous experiences with conceiving were pretty similar, and the way you're feeling right now is exactly why the concept of "Trying" TC freaks.me.out! I have a tendency to overanalyze and obsess a bit, and it's not going to be good if this ends up being a struggle for us, as a I will be crazy and impossible to live with! (Not saying you are overanalyzing, obsesssing, crazy or impossible to live with, though--just empathizing. )

(BTW, I was born in McHenry, IL and grew up in the Ingleside/Fox Lake area. I have been to Algonquin many times. It's always nice to "meet" other Northern Illinois Mamas. )

Hi Willowsmom - thanks for making a new thread! I always like 'em better when they are short. I'm really sorry to hear about your loss last month. Its so hard when in the back of your mind, even after a BFP, you have to worry about that happening. I hope you get a sticky baby really soon!

Eben'sMama - Hopefully your first experience with really trying will be quick!

MyZoeJane - I'm sorry to hear that AF arrived. I know it can be really hard to understand why it doesn't work sometimes. It was the right time, the egg and the sperm were there at the right time... what happened?! But here's something I found on the 'net -



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Kind of depressing, huh? You probably could find some interesting information on here about natural ways to make your cycles shorter - do a search or start a thread asking about it.

As for me... I'm 33, and DH and I have been TTC-ing #3 since August. Actually, for the two of us together we are TTC-ing #1. We got married in July '07, second marriage for both of us. I have a DD 5 and he has a DS 10, both from our first marriages. So this is pretty exciting for us... I know we both "can" do it, I'm just hopeful it will be sooner rather than later.

It took 11 months when I was TTC-ing DD back in 2001/2002.... so it does make me worried. Hey, my eggs are 6 to 7 years older... :

I'm in the TWW currently... about 7 or 8 dpo. No exciting symptoms to share... a few that could be either pre-AF or pre-PG, so really shouldn't get my hopes up yet (yeah right).

Anyhow... I hope everyone has a good day!

Willowsmom, welcome and thanks for starting the new thread. I was thinking about doing it but never got around to it. And I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

Welcome Ebensmama! I know what you mean, I was a little freaked when we started trying for #2, since ds was a happy surprise as well. I kept thinking: "We're actually going to do this on PURPOSE?" But now i am well past the point of freaked out/nervous and very much to the point of obsessed and needing for it to happen soon so I can stop thinking about it. Out of curiousity, what are you doing to ttc a girl? I'm not charting currently but have been taking cranberry pills from end of AF to when I'm suppposed to O. Supposedly that helps, IDK what else really to do. I'm really wanting a girl since this is probably going to be our last child.....

MyZoeJane - I certainly understand your frustration! I guess I would have your dh do a SA, just to make sure? I'd like mine to get one, just to see what it says, but he kind of takes the defensive when I mention it, like I'm trying to insult his manhood or something. Anyway, something I wanted to tell you was that my cycles have been 30 something to 40 something days long, and I recently started taking Vitex and Maca - they are both supposed to regulate your cycles and do away with pms symptoms- and I've heard of quite a few women that conceived the very next cycle after taking Maca. I started taking them right before I o'd so I don't know if it's working yet, i sure hope so b/c the maca is not pleasant-tasting in the least. : Just wanted to suggest these since you're having cycle trouble like me.

And lisko15, I'm not liking those stats! : That's crazy.....hopefully we can all defy the odds here soon....

14 dpo here, tested yesterday and got a bfn. *sigh* AF is supposed to be here tomorrow, so i'm waiting to see what happens with that. I have been having horrid pms symptoms, so if she coming at least I hope she gets here on time so I can start this madness all over again.

Hello ladies-well I got AF today, I really didn't have any signs that it was happening. I am feeling exactly like MyZoeJane. I feel like crap, last time DD was conceived first shot and now this time we did the same thing and I get stupid AF. I *knew* in my heart when I got my BFN on Monday with an Early Response test that it wasn't gonna happen, but I had my hopes up. Last time it was so easy. I know it's only our first cycle trying, but I also am over-analyzing. I also am pretty annoyed with my friend who put it in my head that things can take "forever". I've decided I am not speaking to her about this anymore . It makes me feel like sh**.

I pretty depressed about this :. On an up note though I'm ready to try again.

Norasmomma Just keep trying mama, and keep your head up. I hope it happens for you soon.

Oh, Willowsmom, I'm so sorry that I didn't say I'm sorry for your loss when I first posted. I was thinking it, but my brain was working faster than my typing fingers. I'm so sorry and hope you are feeling better and taking the time to grieve.

Welcome Amy-I'm Erin mama to a beautiful 2 y/o DD and am now starting cycle #2 for #2. I am going to do OPKs this time because my cycle is a little different after DD and this was our first time trying again and we didn't catch the egg . I'm a bit distraught, but I believe that there is another LO in the cards for us, so we are going to try again. Trying not to be frustrated{{deep breaths}}.

Hi Amy! Nice to see you in here.

Thanks for the love, y'all

I'm doing fine at this point... occasionally having fleeting thoughts of "Was there something I could have done differently?" But...I try not to dwell on it. Having a 5 year old running around helps with that.

So yeah...we're back in the saddle again, so to speak.

Willow was a happy surprise... And we tried for awhile after her to get pregnant again. When it didn't happen after a few months we decided not to stress about it and just live our lives and DtD when we want... and if it happens it happens.

Then... I decided I didn't want more kids. At. All. lol I guess Willlow was about 3 or 4 at that point.

When I got pregnant again...it was a HUGE happy shock. And I realized just how much I do want another.

So here we are.

I'm rambling. lol

mama*pisces - Very sorry about your BFN. Aren't those stats surprising? I know its because everything is averaged together, some get PG immediately, some within a few months, and then some not for awhile. But still - when everything is timed perfect - what goes wrong???

Norasmomma - Sorry AF found you. Its never fun to have her arrive when you have symptoms and really start thinking you might be PG! Hoping your 2nd cycle will be more "productive"...

Welcome Amy - Wow TTC #6! What are the age ranges? (Although it might say in your signature... I just can't see it on this page.)

willowsmom

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This sentence made me laugh! Did Willow go through the terrible threes (instead of the twos)? My DD sure did! As soon as she could really talk I wanted that sweet little snuggly toddler-age back.

As for me... I have no idea what to think for this cycle. I've been having some crazy weird symptoms since Tuesday (7 dpo). Uncomfortable crampy stuff going on in my pelvic area, which occasionally radiates around to my back and very high inner thighs. When I move quickly sometimes I feel like I've pulled muscles in the whole area (and believe me, I haven't been doing much in the way of exercising lately ). I'd love to think its been implantation and uterus stretching and all that good stuff... but I'm probably deceiving myself. And if its not, it makes me wonder what IS going on in there.

Anyhow... I'll be waiting to test at least until next Wednesday 12/10. If I start to get real telltale PMS symptoms, I'll probably hold off even longer.

Have a good rest of the day everyone!

CONGRATS RTT!!!!!!!
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Thanks, I just took a different test (FRER) and got another faint line so I think it's slowly sinking in. Wow!!

I think the reason the "success" rate is so low may be partly that even if conception takes place, many embryos are not viable and will spontaneously abort, often so early that we don't even know it. I would guess that if your cycles are regular and predictable and you get one a few days late, that's what happened. It's happened to me once or twice in my life.

Growing into a healthy human being from two very small cells is a very complicated thing.

I'm 31 & TTC #3. But I'm pretty zen about it. Anytime is fine. Which is good as it hasn't happened yet (been trying since September). Although I am going to find out, in all likelihood, if it's worked sometime this weekend as if I am not pg my period should show up tomorrow. I dunno. I don't think I have any signs in particular either way, although I do need to pee a lot. :

I did get pg both other times without hardly trying - first cycle trying the first time, "not trying very hard not to get pg" the second time.