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<p>So a couple months ago, something odd happened. DS, who is just turning 3 and who has been completely weaned since he was 22 months old, has started wanting to nurse frequently and actually nursing a couple times a day (usually morning and night). I had intended to do CLW with him, but when I was 5 months pregnant with DS2, my milk dried up and we both wanted to stop. He never showed any signs of deprivation from it, and I always hoped he would re-nurse once DS1 came along. I knew he'd want to try nursing again once the new baby appeared, and I bought a copy of Adventures in Tandem Nursing and figured we'd see what happened. </p>
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<p>The predictable thing happened: DS1 wanted to try nursing when DS2 was born, did so and didn't like the milk (he tried off and on for a couple weeks). And truth be told: I wasn't that upset about it. By that time he'd been weaned for six months, and I was more than happy to have just one nursling. Plus I discovered that I DO have some kind of personal problem with older kids nursing. In theory I support it, but in practice it annoys me. I have friends who are nursing 3 and 4 year olds, and I support them, but I have found that I cringe inwardly a bit when they do. Please no flames - I don't know why I feel this way or why my feelings are diametrically opposite what my rational brain tells me. I'm just giving you all the facts here.</p>
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<p>So I'm conflicted about this. I don't really want DS1 to nurse anymore. I know he's getting milk (terrible latch, but he can make it work inconsistently). And I can't point to any REASON why he suddenly wants to after six months of no interest. I need to make a choice, because I'm being irrational with him. "Okay, you can nurse - no you can't - you need to stop (feels too weird)", and I need to give him more stability. Either I do this and make peace with it, or we don't do it, but we both need clarity.</p>
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<p>Any insights?</p>
 

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<p>I figured this site would be the place to get some feedback on an issue like this. Nobody? Has anyone had an older child start nursing again, and not just *try*?</p>
 

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<p>Sorry, I have no personal experience with this.  But how you feel is how you feel.  You let him try, and it's not working for you, and I think that's okay.  Extended nursing should be a mutually enjoyable relationship.  If you're cringing and unhappy everytime he's nursing, that's not good for either one of you.  You can gently wean him and provide snuggles and closeness and affection in other ways.  Feeling positive toward your child rather than resentful is more important in my opinion.</p>
 
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<p>In MY opiníon, if you aren't comfortable, it's ok to say no!  What about pumping and giving him some milk in a cup instead?  Or just offering snuggles in the morning and night instead of nursing?  I hope you get some support from some other ladies who have been there done that.</p>
 

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<p>I would definitely stop.  I honestly didn't think twice once the 'icks' kicked in with my second child.  Time to wean! </p>
 

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<p>There is nothing wrong with weaning :) I think MDC makes a lot of mamas think that if they don't nurse until early school age they have deprived their children of something. If you are done nursing, then you are done!</p>
 

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<p>i weaned DD1 at 22 mo bc it hurt so bad being preg with DD2. i so regretted it and hoped she would start up again after DD2 was born. here it is 1 year after the birth and we are all taking a bath and she wants to nurse. so i let her. i liked it, it felt intimate with her again, but it was also odd. she didnt remember how to nurse really and didnt get much milk. i had been pumping about 6 oz a day for her bc i still want to give her milk and never thought she would nurse again. she did tell me that she likes it out of the cup better. cause it fills her tummy faster. :) maybe you could do that for him.</p>
 

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<p>Hey, thanks for the feedback. I haven't decided what to do yet, but I'm thinking I'll have him stop after he gets done being sick. I just really don't like the sensation. </p>
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<p>I'm just a little worried about WHY he suddenly wants to nurse again. I mean, he didn't want to after the baby was born. And now he does. I worry that there's something going on with him. Probably I'm just being paranoid.</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
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<p>I'm just a little worried about WHY he suddenly wants to nurse again. I mean, he didn't want to after the baby was born. And now he does. I worry that there's something going on with him. Probably I'm just being paranoid.</p>
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He may have asked just to test a boundary and now continues b/c he has no guidance. I think it was an unusual choice to let him try at that age after so long.  Who knows what kids will do if you let them lol.  I wouldn't assume he really cares about it.  The time with you?  Of course but nursing?  I don't think so. </p>
 

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<p>DS1 weaned at 20.5 months because I was pregnant with DS2 and it was hurting.  I became pregnant in early March 2009.  DS2 was still nursing and suddenly DS1 wanted to nurse again, too.  I thought NOTHING of it.  He was almost 4 at the time.  He nursed on and off for a couple months then stopped when I lost the baby.  Though his little brother still nurses, he has never again asked to.  I believe he just wanted the bonding feeling back again. </p>
 

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<p><span>Quote:</span></p>
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<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>D_McG</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1279499/3yo-nursing-again-after-one-year-hiatus-help-me-with-my-feelings#post_16062849"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
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<p>I'm just a little worried about WHY he suddenly wants to nurse again. I mean, he didn't want to after the baby was born. And now he does. I worry that there's something going on with him. Probably I'm just being paranoid.</p>
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He may have asked just to test a boundary and now continues b/c he has no guidance. I think it was an unusual choice to let him try at that age after so long.  Who knows what kids will do if you let them lol.  I wouldn't assume he really cares about it.  The time with you?  Of course but nursing?  I don't think so. </p>
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 He probably tried at the beginning, but didn't like the taste because there was so much colostrum.  Then when he tried recently, it probably tasted more like what he was used to since you're not making as much colostrum anymore, and he liked the taste again so he kept nursing.  I don't think that it's anything wrong with him, weird motives, or that he needs more guidance to enforce a boundary.  However, if it feels weird to you, I think it's fine to be honest with him about that and wean!!</p>
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<p>I'm curious whether you would feel differently if he was a girl (just as food for thought I guess).  When I was pregnant this last time, I didn't know if I was having a girl or a boy, and I definitely wondered whether I would feel differently nursing a boy as long as I've been nursing my daughter.  Dd1 is such an oral person, and has been really attached to nursing since she was born.  She dry nursed through the second half of my pregnancy even though there was no milk--I asked her if there was milk, and she said no--and I asked her if it just still felt really relaxing and good to nurse and she said yes.  I try to offer cuddles and closeness in other ways, but she's never really been interested in that.  The only times she cuddles on a regular basis are when we are nursing or reading...otherwise she has a hard time sitting still!  I'm still nursing her at 4 (she just turned 4 the other day), and while it sounds old to me, it still feels really natural to be nursing her still (not icky or weird or anything).  For me, I think it helps my feeling of "normal-ness" that she never stopped nursing, and that she's a girl.  I hope that I would still feel as good about nursing an older boy, but because my culture is so weird about breasts being sexual, I wonder if I would.  It's definitely an interesting question to think about...</p>
 
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