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My three year old was absolutely perfect till I had her brother the day after her birthday. And now she tries me very hard. Well, now that we are back at staying home, she has started growling at me when she is angry. Please help me, none of my kind words are correcting the situation, and I just don't know what to do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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My almost 4 yo growls, too! Aggravating! Have you tried discussing it at calmer times? Growling back? Helping her learn other ways to express anger/displeasure? Suggesting she growl in a different room? Reminding her that she can be angry but needs to use a respectful voice with you? I recommend a great book called "Dealing With Disappointment" by Elizabeth Crary - has tons of practical suggestions, more than I can remember - guess I need to read it again. :LOL
 

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Bringing up my fav book (Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline) . . .it talks a lot about how to be empathetic with tantrums, and how anger is "the" hardest emotion (for all parties) to handle.<br><br>
I'd suggest reading the book, but in the meantime, try describing what you see/hear/feel (all) to her. . .what you see her doing, what you hear her saying, understanding how she's feeling. I guess what I'm saying is try to get away from the idea of changing the growling (the behavior) and look for it as a teaching moment to help her understand and then deal with her emotions. So, first calm yourself to prepare to deal with it, then help her with her emotions (not to change them, just to understand and accept them). Most importantly, let her know you will be there for her even when she's angry-- that's when she needs you most. Easier said than done . . .I need a lot of help in this area!!!
 
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