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4.5yo sooooooooo skinny

797 views 20 replies 16 participants last post by  MarineWife 
#1 ·
My 4.5yo ds is so skinny. He looks like skin and bones to me. I bought him some new clothes for this summer. I got 4T shorts because the size usually goes with the age, right, and I assumed the shorts he had been wearing were 3T. I didn't bother having him try them on at the store. When he put them on at home they literally fell right off him. I looked at the shorts he had been wearing and they were 2T. They still fit him around the waist although they look a little too short so he's still wearing those.

He rarely sits down to eat a full meal of anything. I get food for him whenever he says he's hungry, which seems to be constantly, but he doesn't eat it all. I put a tray of food out for him for the day but it gets wasted. I've tried making him calorie dense foods. He gets excited about them at first but still only has a little and doesn't continue to eat the things I make later or the next day or whatever. It's not that he refuses to eat or doesn't like anything. He just doesn't eat much at any one time. For example, breakfast this morning was pancakes. He likes pancakes but only ate half of one. 20 minutes later he said he was hungry again. I offer him a yogurt. Again, he only eats half of a kid's size yogurt.

What do you think? He doesn't have any health or medical conditions and is otherwise growing and developing normally. The people in my and my dh's family are small. Maybe I need to not worry about it.
 
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#2 ·
I totally understand what you are going through. I also have a 4.5 yr old DS who is extremely small. He is 30 lbs and looks like the main character from the disney jungle book movie. He too is often still wearing 2T. He can wear 3T if it is adjustable waist, and most certainly cannot wear ANYTHING that is not adjustable waist. Forget about 4T. I am thinking his little brother will probably surpass him in wt by next yr. My son is a picky eater. What he loves to eat is fresh fruit. If he had it his way, that is all he would eat. He loves, "snack" foods too, which drives me crazy, since I want him to eat, "real" food. I am pretty strict about not giving my kids junky foods and it has gotten to the point where I just put a little bit of this or that on his plate b/c, 1) I would like to see him finish a, "plate" of food, and feel good about it (I read that sometimes parents sabotage kids, b/c they put too much food on their plate) and 2) I am tired of throwing food away. I think that ever since he was 100% on solids, he has only ever finished a, "normal" portion of food once. Usually, he will pick at his food, and goof off at the table, doing anything but eat. If I tell him that he's finished, b/c he's goofing off, he gets upset, and tells me that he is still eating. I think that part of it is that he is an incredibly S-L-O-W eater as well and we probably are kind of impatient with him at times. He also has some fine motor issues. My almost 3 yr old has better ability with using a spoon and fork compared to my 4.5 yr old, who still often asks us to feed him.

On top of that, I sometimes wonder if my son has food allergies. I'm thinking about getting him testing the next time we have a check up. Have you had your son tested for food allergies? Also, you make a good point that it's probably genetic as well. My DH and I were all extremely scrawny children. We are asian american and our parents are smaller than avg compared to most other americans. So, it is in our genes too. Weirdly enough though, my neice and nephew (they are not bi-racial, they are 100% korean) are pretty big kids compared to mine. So, who knows. I just keep reminding myself that there is always going to be SOMEBODY who is at the bottom of the growth chart...
 
#3 ·
If the people in your family and dh's family are small, he's healthy and active, then don't worry. Offer him small amounts of food. Set up a cupboard and a drawer in the fridge where he can grab food whenever he wants to. My niece is like this. My sister describes her as needing to eat like a bird. Tiny amounts frequently.

If it helps, our 7 year old is still wear size 4-5 shorts, but he needs size 7 for length in pants. Thank heavens for Old Navy slims with adjustable waists! Ds is wearing the same shorts this summer that he wore last summer, and the summer before! Actually I bought ds a size 5 swimsuit last summer (when he was 6), assuming it would fit and it didn't. Too big.
 
#5 ·
My daughter is like this and always has been - still is at age 9. She'll be hungry a lot but only eat a little at a time. She'll go through spurts though where she eats more. Like last night I gave her a small portion of pasta with pesto and she asked for more. Her pediatrician says he's just as happy and that she's fine. She grows up, just not out. She's very healthy otherwise and eats healthy foods. I've come to the conclusion that she just has a really well-developed and healthy self-regulation mechanism. Even when it's something like a brownie (which I can never eat just one of), I'll ask her if she wants another and she'll be like, "umm, no - I'm not really hungry anymore". This is a really good thing and sets her up for a healthy relationship to food throughout her life. As long as your son is offered and takes healthy food choices and eats when he's hungry then I wouldn't worry. I'd count your blessings. Grazing is supposed to be a much more healthy way to eat then the 3 square meals a day we all grew up with. of course it's exhausting and time-consuming. I found the healthy snack drawer and cabinet to be a life-saver. Instead of asking me every time she's hungry between meals she can go to her drawer and have yogurt, sliced fruit, cheese sticks, some lean cut-up chicken, triscuits, peanut butter on bread, trail mix, granola bars, etc.
 
#6 ·
Thanks. He had a blood test for many food and environmental allergies when he was around 2 1/2 and no allergies showed up. He's really not a picky eater except for not getting interested in solids until he was about 15 months old. When he was breastfeeding he was huge. He doesn't try something and then say it's yucky or refuse to try anything. He'll at least try most things. He just doesn't eat much at one time.

I do have a shelf of food for him in the pantry and a drawer in the fridge that he can reach. I guess that's all I can do. I don't force him to sit at the table or try to make him finish anything. None of that "3 more bites" stuff. I don't want to make an issue out of food. I let him eat what, when and how much he wants.
 
#7 ·
My 8 yo DS was (is) just the same. As a four year old he weighed around 33 lbs but was tall for his age so he looked extremely skinny. He is a picky eater but was tested for food intolerances and nothing much showed up, at least nothing major like dairy and gluten (asparagus, lemons, pork were the major items). He was and is an extremely athletic, healthy, robust child, and at 8 1/4 is now beginning to bulk up a bit. He really didn't eat much solid food until he was 2/12 and even then it wasn't much. He weaned at 4 1/4.
 
#8 ·
Marsupialmom ~ Yep, I don't put lots on his plate. A lot of times, though, he'll only eat 1 or 2 bites.

bronxmom ~ My ds is the same way with "junk" food. He'll ask for a cookie and not even finish the entire thing. The only thing that bothers me about that is that I find the remnants all over the baby's face.
 
#9 ·
DD1 is 5.5y old and weighs 35 lbs, she is long and very thin. Both DH and I come from thinner families, mine especially so I'm not concerned. DD1 does snack all day long, it drives me insane at times because I feel like I am constantly making food for her.
 
#11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by waiflywaif View Post
My thought is, who cares. Bodies come in all sizes. If he eats a variety of foods and is healthy and active, I wouldn't fuss about amounts.
Yeah, that's what I want to be confident about. I still have that niggling in the back of my mind, though. I guess because he's always hungry but doesn't seem to eat much. My older ds was thin but not skin and bones like this one. Different dad but he is thin, too.
 
#13 ·
My dd is like this. I swear she eats ten times a day but never much at once. She is so skinny. Between her 5yo check up and 6yo check up she didn't gain any wt. She eats almost all healthy foods, just not much. But last night we had home-made pizza and she ate 3 pcs. She must have been really hungry. The thing is that dh and I are both very big, so people assume that dd should be or that we are starving her or something. I really let her eat whatever she wants whenever she wants just so she will eat. It's just the way she is. My brother was like this as a kid too. Skin and bones and now he's a healthy athletic guy. Dd is healthy too. She rarely gets sick, she's smart and vibrant, so I know I'm not harming her. (she also has some sensory sensitivities and is a picky eater though)
 
#14 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by 2 in August View Post
she also has some sensory sensitivities
Hmmmmmmm...this is an interesting point. It was suggested to me by a doctor that my ds has sensory integration disorder.
 
#15 ·
My DS is an extremely picky eater, and not exceptionally thin (he was 4 in April and 33 lbs) but he's never been a big eater. And he most definitely has sensory issues, and one of his big ones is oral aversions. If you've got reason to suspect that with DS, it might be worth further investigation. I know DS would starve before he'd go outside his comfort zone as far as food goes. If I wasn't more than willing to feed the child 20 peanut butter & jelly sandwiches/week, he's probably be a lot thinner.
 
#17 ·
My second son, at 6.5 years of age, just passed 40 lbs. Within last three months he gained 3 lbs!

He's always been such a picky eater and rarely finished his plates. When he says he's done, I would always say "three more bites" or "five more bites" these days. And he doesn't protest to extra bites he has to eat before finishing with his meal.

With baseball and swimming, he became active and needed to eat more lately. I think that's how he jumped from less than 40 lb weight to 43 lbs recently. I would give a meal (not snack) around 4:00 p.m. before his baseball practice... and I would give another meal around 8:00 p.m. after his baseball. So, he ate four meals during the day.
 
#18 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by waiflywaif View Post
Hey, I also have a 5.5-year-old girl who is 35 pounds!

My thought is, who cares. Bodies come in all sizes. If he eats a variety of foods and is healthy and active, I wouldn't fuss about amounts.
: to all the above. My 5.5 yr old DD is also 35 lbs
She eats tiny amounts of food, all day long. I get really sick of making food. Luckily my 2 yr old has been a bottomless pit lately, so she cleans up all her sister's leftovers.

I don't worry too much about my skinny girls' health though. I have to remember that my sister and I were also stick figure kids. We were made fun of and people asked my mom if she ever fed us. I really hated that my grandparents would fix me a giant plate of dinner and make me sit at the table until it was finished.
I resorted to packing it into my mouth and then spitting it in the toilet. I got full really fast, but would be hungry soon after. I hated eating meat and I still don't feel like it sits well with me. I'm still thin. I think I just have a high metabolism. I still remember when I was pregnant with my first and I actually finished my whole meal in a restaurant! So, mostly my point was that I don't think it's right to force a kid to eat. A couple extra bites is not so bad, but your child probably knows when they are done.
 
#19 ·
LucyRev our dd's sound very similar, especially in eating habits.

My dd (8yo) weighs 42 pounds (she's 3'6"). She is VERY active, never stops moving. There are nights where I bet she can't run up the hill in our yard so many times just to get her tired for bed.


Dd just started wearing a 7slim(with the inside adjusters pulled all the way tight), but she just got capri's from Old Navy, they are XS, and they almost fall down. I realized very early that sizes will never fit her according to age. She has dresses that range from 4T-8. 3/4 of dd's summer wardrobe this year is being worn for the third summer. They still fit.

She's also a grazer. She just can't fit a typical child meal in at once. She eats a okay breakfast (example- waffles or yogurt) then will be hungry again by 10:30. She'll have like half an apple. Then lunch, maybe 3/4 of a "normal" child meal (it's her largest meal of the day). Then a snack around 3:00. Dinner is ALWAYS the least amount she eats all day. Even if it's something she loves, and even if she misses her afternoon snack, she just isn't a evening eater. But she HAS to have a snack before bed, cause she claims she is SOOOO HUNGRY.

I used to try to get her to eat more at dinner, gently, just saying to her that she will be hungry later, but it just doesn't work for her and her body.

Dd has some slight sensitivities to food. But it's more about location than food groups. Like she can't have her food touching. She doesn't like things added, like butter on potatoes, or dipping food into ketchup. Salads are JUST lettuce, oil, vinegar. She loves her fruits and vegetables, they just can't touch. She doesn't eat beef.

I'm not worried about dd, I know sometimes other's are (family), but her Doctors say she's fine. She's super healthy so that is what counts. It's just odd cause I'm 5'10", and her predicted height is barely over 5 foot.

All the girls in her class like it cause they always want to carry dd around. HAHA! My Godson is turning 5yo next month, and he weights more than dd, and just passed her in height. They can wear each others clothes. Dd borrowed a pair of his PJ's and she was swimming in them.

Sometimes good things come in small packages, and that's my dd.
 
#20 ·
Marine Wife - you, and all the other mamas that have posted, should come join us in the 'skinny babies' tribe! I think it'll answer questions, offer support and reassure you a lot!

Just some info, my DD (she'll be 9 in a week) has yet to break 50 lbs. and my DS (7.5) is around 41-42 lbs. so I know how it is. They eat like horses, have always been around the same percentile for weight (3-8%) and I'm very skinny and DH is thin too.

Come and check out the tribe, I think it'll be great
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#21 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyRev View Post
So, mostly my point was that I don't think it's right to force a kid to eat.
ITA. That's why I don't tell my ds to eat a certain # of more bites.

He's not a picky eater, as I've said already. He'll eat just about anything, just not a lot of any of it. I've researched the SID thing. I've decided that unless and until he tells me it's a problem for him that he wants to work on I'm not going to worry about it. It's part of his personality and it's perfectly fine and normal. That's also why I don't want to react to him being skinny if that's just part of who he is. I don't want to send him the message that there's something wrong with being himself.
 
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