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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I stay home with my 4 kids ages 6, 4, 21 months, and 5 weeks and I can't get anything done. Even the most basic housework is impossible let alone cooking. The only thing I can seem to manage is crying every time I take a good look at my house. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl"><br>
For those of you who have a large family how do you manage?? There is nobody available to help w/ the dc aside from dh who helps as much as he can when he is not working. ds#3 (5 weeks) is pretty high needs but does not like any of the carriers that I have. I'm going nuts...I feel like piling everything in the yard and having a bon fire! Help!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut">
 

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Sorry Mama, I don't have much help to give but this<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> . My kids are similar in age to yours minus the newborn and we have the same issue. Once a week my husband and I will "blitz" the house and do big housecleaning. I start upstairs, he starts downstairs and we meet in the middle. Then as a family we try to pick up at night before bed whatever got messed up during the day. Sometimes it works, other times life gets busy and the mess starts increasing.<br><br>
Don't forget that you have a newborn. I wrote a post similar to yours after my 3rd was born. Give your body time to heal and give yourself time to adjust to your new family situation. I'm sure things will be better soon!!<br><br>
Kate<br><br>
And don't forget...<br><br>
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." -- Phyllis Diller <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>KatherineNaomi</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6464389"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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And don't forget...<br><br>
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." -- Phyllis Diller <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I LOVE this. I don't know how to keep anything clean with two kids! If I were you I'd just take it easy on myself (and maybe drink alot! J/K!). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you, I don't know why I'm getting so worked up, I know I shouldn't. I started thinking about my son's birthday party in a few weeks and all the stuff that needs done and I panicked... I'm so hormonal lately I think dh is secretly planning me a long vacation in a padded room...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rotflmao">
 

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I dont know either, i had 3 under the age of 4 at one time, and nearly went insane, I am sure you are doing a great job, and maybe the housework wont get done right away, just enjoy the moments with the kids!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>faerierose</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6466407"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">... I think dh is secretly planning me a long vacation in a padded room...</div>
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Almost sounds like a vacation, huh? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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You know, I actually was thinking more about you this afternoon. I honestly think that in parenting, and especially when parenting several children, you just sort of have to become one with the chaos. Just get in to it and enjoy it because, as you know, trying to work against it is pointless.<br><br>
I was just looking at our chaos and thinking that <i>someday</i> the house will be cleaner for longer than thirty minutes. That we will own furniture that we don't care if it is covered in popsicle drippings. That the hardwood floors won't be covered in stickers . . . you get the idea. For now, though, it's neck-deep in baby/toddler-hood and that's how it is!<br><br>
Embrace the chaos, mama!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I am in a similar postion to you and wonder how I will do it when dc #4 comes. Many days I am not even close to sane trying to get everything done and homeschooling the oldest 2 but I like the "Everyday is a new day" saying. Some days will be better, some will be cleaner, and some will be calmer. Rest, eat as well as you can, and take a frequent breaks just sitting or relaxing. The main thing is trying to give your kids a good environment which has more to do with all of your well being rather than how clean your house is.
 

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You don't!!!!!<br><br>
I used to be in the same boat exactly. My very best advice, is in minimize your life. Simplify your house and don't take on anymore then you absolutally know you can do.<br><br>
Once you get the most basic of simple routines undercontrol, you can start adding to your life as the kids grow.<br><br>
You have nobody to impress but yourself and what goes on between your 4 walls is nobody's bussiness but your own.<br><br>
These years with young babies pass by so so quicky that in a flash you will wonder WTH happend and what you were so stressed out about.<br><br>
My children are almost 10, 8, 5 and 4 and it is amazing how things have changed even in the last 2 years.<br><br>
If you can, try to pick up the book Sink Reflections (FLYLady) I find the although I had been to the wesite a million times, I never really "got it" until I had the book in hand. Take from it what works for you and if nothing else just the comfort of knowing that you are not alone and there are other moms in the same boat or btdt who really do care. My other best suggestion is spend the $7 on the MotivatedMoms (.com) planner and if you do nothing else in your day, do what's on those simple lists and you'll find your self in a better place homewise.<br><br>
MOST importantly, take time for yourself mama. A little bit of quiet time even 15 minutes alone to keep in touch with who *you* are to make sure you are ok is important. Dress pretty, a squirt of perfume or a touch of lipstick can really perk you up!!!<br><br><br>
This too shall pass ((((((hugs))))))
 

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I don't have a five week old, that's how I do it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
When my youngest was very small and my oldest was seven, my house was barely passing. I really struggled with it but I had to make myself let certain things go in order to be there for the baby. She needed me to nurse her and hold her more than anyone needed the floor to be vacuumed twice a day or the dishes done immediately after the meals {or even daily}.<br><br>
Now she is a year old and it's much easier. Sure, she goes behind me undoing everything that her siblings miss while they are tearing through the house, but she doesn't need me to hold her 24/7 any more and I'm able to get much more done. Now if I could just get her to stop pulling all of the books off of the bookshelf sixty seconds after I put them back up... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">: It can be really hard to accept our limitations sometimes, but you have to remember that you are only one person and right now your baby needs you more than the housecleaning does. Over time everything will work out naturally <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> For now, recruit as much outside help as possible. Call friends and family members over to visit the baby and when they arrive hand them a basket of laundry and direct them to the machines. Or point them to the sink of dishes and ask sweetly for a little help while you change and feed the baby. Let those who love you know that you are overwhelmed and you really need a hand right now. I didn't have much support from outside family when the babes were young, but Dh was a lifesaver. As soon as I told him that I needed his help he stepped up to the plate. He didn't realise until I verbalised it that I was really overwhelmed.
 

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so is it that hard to go from 3 to 4??? do scare me! LOL we are planing to TTC this late winter/spring. i've waited a lot longer then i did between the others. my first 2 had 2 years 2 months, my second and third had 2 years 2 months, my 3rd and 4th will have 3 years 4 months between them if all goes as planed. as well as when 4th comes a long my older two will be in school all day as well.<br>
my suggestions is with a 5 week old, take it easy, you are prolly doing GREAT! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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You have a NEWBORN! Heck, even when I only had my first, I couldn't get anything done around the house for about 2 months. The constant nursing, lack of sleep, physical recovery from childbirth, etc is killer. Second newborn - also kind of difficult to get things done, with baby and toddler needing attention. I'd just let it go for now. Order a lot of take out/ delivery. Be gentle with yourself. It'll get easier once she can sit up on her own and even before that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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you mean your still SANE!!! OMG!! i only have 2 (a 9 week old) and I barely get to do one thing for longer than 20 min!! let alone actually finish a thought!! granted i have a pile of laundry on the couch..kids haven't been bathed in a while <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: i have made dinner a whole 5-6 times since dd has been born and dh isn't here to make more of a mess!!<br><br>
hugs to you for even having time to sit and write a post!!
 

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This was a good note taking thread, I had #3 when my oldest was 27mnths old. And I feel like I'm a time bomb on most days.
 

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I have #4 on the way, and I think that having a newborn will be a whole new challenge of its own. But, I know that things get easier as the kids get a little older. So, a big part of what your'e going through has to be the newborn challenges, and that will pass over time.<br><br>
I second what a PP said about the FlyLady thing-- I'm not following FlyLady to a T (this is real life, right?), but getting myself into the habit of organization has been a big help. And I've been working hard to teach my kids how to help me maintain it, so having older kids who can help clean is a big boost!<br><br>
There are still days I just feel like I've bombed, though. I think we all go through that sometimes.
 

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i dont... thats just the way things are...<br>
the laundry is NEVER caught up.. the dishes are always in the sink... toys in the yard... you get the idea...<br><br>
relax give yourself a break...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mamamilkers</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6466956"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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Embrace the chaos, mama!</div>
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Wow! Such a simple statement but it really hits home for me today! Thanks for that! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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I only have three kids. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> I just declutter a lot. Try not to look at the countertops too much. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I also have a Roomba that vacuums for me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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You have a 5 week old.<br><br>
Do you have any family that you can call and beg to clean for you?
 
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