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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think I've seen other posts about this...ds is reluctant to do certain things because he feels he can't do them well. One example is writing. He wants to write letters and his name and does do it but then gets very frustrated because he knows it's not done well. He also gets frustrated if he's trying to draw a certain thing and it doesn't turn out the way he wants.

He has always been easily frustrated by toys and things that he's not able to manage/manipulate and also when we are playing a game like follow the leader, etc. he wants it done a certain way and if we make a mistake we have to start over. Depending on if he's tired/hungry he will throw a fit about it. Other times it doesn't bother him, he just wants to start over.

How do you handle this? We do do things like try to make sure toys/games are age appropriate and that we don't purposely give him things we know he can't handle. But, I mean, I think some degree of frustration is ok, too. And we try to work with him on how to handle these situations. The writing has become more of an issue lately because he is in school and I know it is not pushed at school but he just sees others doing it and wants to as well.

I have more recently told him things like he is just starting to write and he is still learning and he can practise and will get better. I don't know...is that what you say? I was thinking of showing him a few examples I have of my own writing when I just started but I'm afraid that might backfire. This isn't a huge issue - it doesn't "run his life". I just want to be able to help him get through this and handle these emotions so that it doesn't turn into a huge issue for him.
 

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My ds is the same age, same way!
As far as him not wanting to do things until he can do them "right", I just back off and let him do it at his own pace. I've found it's just easier.
For instance, he tried to pedal his tricycle when he was 2, but it was difficult and he got upset. I tried to help him, teach him, but it made him more determined NOT to do it. He was 3.5 before he'd pedal the darn thing.
If I had left him alone he may have done it months earlier.
He will also not write letters or numbers yet because he can't do it right.
So far I've been relaxed about it, but I'm not sure what he right approach is.

With games like follow the leader, when he tries to manipulate things to his liking, I usually do the 1/2 and 1/2 thing. 1/2 the time I cater to what he wants, the other 1/2 I tell him it's time to do things mommy's way.

He is actually better in a group (like preschool), he's aware that he can't control and manipulate each situation in a group setting.

I was this way as a child, and so was dh, so I think my poor ds got a double dose.
:
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Oh, thanks for the reply! I know I've seen others talk about this, too.

Yeah, even though ds has been "late" on a few things we have found just waiting until he is ready is best. He did not potty train until after he turned 4 but then did it just like that (snap fingers). And riding his bike...he was the same way. He did not actually ride a bike until just a few weeks ago. (2 wheeler with training wheels) Before that he still loved his bikes (we have a bunch of hand-me-downs for some reason) but he would only push them around both while sitting on them and while not.

I do keep reminding myself he will do things when he's ready and it has worked out that way so far. I'm just not sure how to handle the frustration when he wants to do something and tries but doesn't do it the way he wants and then is frustrated.

Good idea about the 1/2 and 1/2! I should start doing that.
 
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