Mothering Forum banner

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
138 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi,<br><br>
I'm 99% positive that my son hasn't been sexually abused ... I think that mostly, this is for the pleasure of touching his anus and self-exploration. We've always let him be naked when he wants to be ... and have had no problem with his touching his penis, etc.<br><br>
However, lately, he's been playing with his anus and trying to touch his poop inside his body ... often stimulating his body and having poop on his finger. This is now becoming his interest in touching his poop while he is pooping and for the first time since he was potty trained (entirely on his own, over a year ago), choosing not to go to the bathroom when he needs to poop. This isn't every day, but often enough to be annoying and frankly, disgusting.<br><br>
What would you do about this? Though we've NEVER had rules about how he touches his body, we tried rules about when he can play with his anus (in the bathtub, in his bed at night, etc.) ... but that doesn't seem to work. Would you decide to make him wear underwear until he stops?<br><br>
I can't tell if this is just b/c I'm kind of disgusted by it, because it is a legitmate issue re: sanitary or not sanitary hands, health concerns or frustration b/c I'm not sure why its all happening (is it regression, a way of expressing anger??) ...<br><br>
Any thoughts?<br><br>
Becca
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,169 Posts
Have you had him checked for pin worms? That would make him itchy and could explain the fascination.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
138 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hmmm...I just read about pin worms on the basis of these suggestions and though I'm willing to test for that, I don't think that's it. He just loves touching himself as he reads a book, squats to look at bugs, etc. I thought that was pretty normal. Isn't it?<br><br>
So ... let's say, for the sake of discussion, that he doesn't have pinworms ... what would you do?<br><br>
Becca
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,560 Posts
Ask him to wash his hands!<br><br>
Seriously, I'd treat it the same way as other forms of self-touching. Honey, that's private, please do it in your room. And please wash your hands.<br><br>
Do you think he'd agree to that?
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
12,445 Posts
My dd does this, but she does it more when she needs a bath! She's got very sensitive skin. And we probably need to bathe her more often. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:<br><br>
I would simply explain that his anus has germs on it from poop, and that if he wants to explore it, then he needs to do that in the bathroom, so he can wash his hands right away and not get germs everywhere.<br><br>
I have put underpants on dd when she wasn't willing/able to stop exploring and wouldn't wash her hands afterwards. Ewww.<br><br>
I would check out the pinworms though, as that is often a cause of itchiness.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,431 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LynnS6</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9054740"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would simply explain that his anus has germs on it from poop, and that if he wants to explore it, then he needs to do that in the bathroom, so he can wash his hands right away and not get germs everywhere.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yep, that's what I'd do, especially since it sounds like he's drawing feces out during his exploration. I wouldn't send him to his room to do it for sanitary reasons -- poop germs belong in the bathroom and nowhere else.<br><br>
And yeah, I'd put underwear on him if he was unable to comply with your request about not doing it in living spaces. My kid's right to self-exploration ends at my right to not have poop on the couch. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
163 Posts
Could it be he is holding in his poops at times and he gets to a point that when he is like you say, playing, reading, etc..that he has a feeling that he needs to poop, but like us adults, sometimes we think we have to go, but try and cant. Maybe he does not want to stop what he is doing and is checking to see if he needs to poop?<br>
I dont know..just throwing that out there..<br><br>
My sisters 20 year old son pooped in his pants till he was 8-9 yrs old.He would hide his underwear behind doors, under furniture, and all kinds of strange places..even at freinds and relatives homes..it was a horrible experience for him as he was made fun of by friends and even some relatives.<br>
When he was about 4-5 he just started holding it and would not go on the toilet and eventualy would poop on himself. His freinds called him "poopy boy roy" till he was 12 years old.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">He just loves touching himself as he reads a book, squats to look at bugs, etc. I thought that was pretty normal. Isn't it?</td>
</tr></table></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
If he is touching his anus while doing the above I would be concerned that this habit could stay with him and that he might do it as he gets older and around freinds and other kids.<br><br>
I would also make sure he knows that his anus is for stuff to come out and to never put anything in it. I say this because kids do the darndest things, KWIM?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,421 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>princesspennie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9056062"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My sisters 20 year old son pooped in his pants till he was 8-9 yrs old.He would hide his underwear behind doors, under furniture, and all kinds of strange places..even at freinds and relatives homes..it was a horrible experience for him as he was made fun of by friends and even some relatives.<br>
When he was about 4-5 he just started holding it and would not go on the toilet and eventualy would poop on himself. His freinds called him "poopy boy roy" till he was 12 years old.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
That sounds like <a href="http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/WELCOME/conditions/encopresis.html" target="_blank">encopresis</a> ... did they never take him to a doctor for it? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,711 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>wednesday</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9056094"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">That sounds like <a href="http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/WELCOME/conditions/encopresis.html" target="_blank">encopresis</a> ... did they never take him to a doctor for it? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yes my brother had that. Fortunately, he was diagnosed at 6 and had surgery to correct the problem.<br><br>
V
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
220 Posts
Have you pinpointed that it is about what feels good for his body or is it the pleasure of playing with the texture of poo? Is there a way you can talk to him about what he likes about it and then find a similar outlet? Could more play with Playdoh/modelling clay/homemade dough/mud substitute?<br><br>
For health reasons, I would have him wear underwear more often if that prevents him from doing it because I'd be worried that I couldn't watch for clean hands all the time. I'd err on the side of his health and safety. I have a friend whose son did anus play and it was a phase he grew out of fairly quickly.<br><br>
Good luck!!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
860 Posts
ds tries to touch his anus as well. i feel very strongly that it isnt ok unless its in the shower. i never shame him about his body and he is too young to get the germ thing (hes 2.5) so we have a zero tolerence for poo play. i just tell him that poop is very yucky but the act of pooping is fine. i just imagine if some other persons child was walking around with poo residue in their hands and sharing toys etc. yikes. hand washing is an option but for handwashing to actually kill germs they need to be scrubbed for a minimun of 30 seconds. how many kids (and adults) actually do this? i say just avoid the poo thing all together unless its in the shower where you know theres soap and running water for more than 30 seconds. good luck!
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top