5 year old self picker

I was one. It stemmed from my mother constantly critcical of me and I was then self criticical. I was searching for flaws. Also, she pointed out a bump on my arm one day and that was that.

Now, I have a 6yo picker too. The only one out of the 4 so far. I have been overly careful not to be critcal of her, so I do not know what the deal is. She is NOT allowe to pick to bleeding. It is self destructive.

I had a grandfather on my fathers side that was a picker. genetics??

I do think it is anxiety related. Even if we do not consciously know it. When I am picking, I am not thinking about all the stuff I am worried about, it is a mindless activity.

It helps now that I crochet and sew. They also are repeative, mindless activity that ends up much like meditation. I am not worrying while I am crocheting.

KWIM??

Little kids can knit. Maybe try teaching her that. That is what my grandmother did..... to keep my hands busy with something else.

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It's really interesting that you say that, because my MIL has suggested that exact thing. My DH's grandmother was apparently a big picker, and my SIL was (and is) too. so perhaps that's where my DD gets it?

Still as you say, my worry is that it's because she feels inadequate or something. We also try not to be overly critical, but I don't know if that helps or not.

I like the idea of keeping hands busy.

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same for me. Lots of things can stress a kid out, things parents might not realize are so stressful. Little comments made by the lady at the grocery store, grandparents, cousins, other kids can open up huge wounds in their hearts. Just one little comment can leave a lasting impression and start the self-doubt and insecurities which, for me, were why I picked my scabs and plucked my hair and chewed my fingernails and lips until I bled. I don't know why your kid does it, but I think for me it was because I was overly critical of myself, seeing everything that was different about me as a flaw. Public school made those feelings of insecurity that much worse, because of the way conformity and uniformity were encouraged and unique qualities and differences between children were always treated as something bad wrong that needed to be fixed.

This was me as a child. I started at the same age. I do not want to freak you out, but I want to let you know what COULD happen and how you can prevent it.

I did the same thing as your DD. The picking escalated into full-blown trichotillomania. The trich was made worse by my mother, who would punish me for picking at my skin and scalp, pulling eyelashes, hair and eyebrow hair. I remember her force-feeding me a glass of milk when I was about 6 or 7, all the while screeching at me that I better drink the milk so my eyelashes would grow back. As I gulped down the milk, my tears mixed in with it and it tasted salty and gross. I can't drink a glass of milk anymore without thinking about that.

Finally I broke down and sought medical help in my early 20's. I didn't even know what I was doing was a medical disorder. All my life I thought that I was the only one who did these "weird things."

I know you are a good, well-educated mother if you come here. I realize that it was nearly impossible for my mother to have diagnosed my condition when I was young, but she was wrong in that she always blamed me for what I did to myself, and accused me of mutilating myself "just to drive her crazy." Never once did she mention to the family doctor what was going on with me. Her apathy made my condition worse.

The earlier you adress this condition, the better chance your daughter has to eliminate this behavior from her life.