5 year-old terrified about upcoming plane trip

567 Views 12 Replies 10 Participants Last post by taradt, Jun 23, 2007

Very Snoofly

Discussion Starter · Jun 20, 2007

We are flying out to visit my mom and dad on Sunday. When I first mentioned this trip to my daughter, who's 5.5, she collapsed on the floor in a hysterical fit. After much crying, she finally said that she didn't want to fly because she was afraid her ears would hurt. And almost every day since then, she has said, usually with tears, that she doesn't want to go.

Now, this child has been on 8 or 10 plane trips in her life, and although we've mentioned ear-popping, she has never once complained about ear pain while flying. She was running a slight fever the last time we flew home (last Thanksgiving) and ended up with pinkeye, but it wasn't a bad illness and it had nothing to do with her ears. I'm not sure where this fear is coming from.

I have: emphathized. Sympathized. Suggested ways we can help her ears while on the plane (gum, a bottle of water, even a lollipop -- I don't really know if a lollipop would help but it would be a special treat nonetheless). I've had my mom and some of her cousins talk to her about flying and confirm to her that THEIR ears don't hurt on the plane. I've told her I would be with her every second and give her hugs and kisses. She absolutely refuses to be comforted.

Not going on the trip is not an option. Leaving her behind (she's asked to stay with my inlaws) is not an option. Driving is not an option (NC to TX -- it would take three days). I feel bad that she's so very upset about it, but I also have to get her on the plane. I honestly think she'll be fine once we're up in the air, but I have be so unsuccessful at reducing her anxiety, I feel almost disrespectful telling her that she has to get on the plane.

Any suggestions?

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mammastar2

· #2 · Jun 20, 2007

My ears hurt sometimes on planes, so last time we flew I got both dd and me these nifty ear plugs called "Ear Planes" - they look like corkscrews, and they totally worked, although they felt a little weird. If you can find a child-size set, you may be able to reassure her that they will prevent ear pain.

Even if she hasn't experienced it before, feeling that her worry has been 'taken care of' may help.

Otherwise, as you say, chances are she'll be fine once she's up in the air.

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beanma

· #3 · Jun 20, 2007

does she like books? can you read some books about flying on a plane? maybe she's heard about a friend who had ear trouble on a plane. maybe just remind her that she hasn't had trouble before and ask her why she's worried about her ears? my dd1 loved The Noisy Airplane Ride when she was about 3.5. it has a line something like: "don't let the airplane toilet's flush; scare you with it's noisy gush," which she just thought was hilarious.

sounds like she's just worried for whatever reason and needs a lot of reassurance. maybe you could buy her some special airplane goodies to help out. she probably will be fine once you get there.

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Very Snoofly

Discussion Starter · #4 · Jun 21, 2007

Mammastar -- Thanks for the suggestion -- I'll try to find some of those. Part of me suspects she won't wear them -- she's very stubborn when it comes to stuff like that (refuses medicine, anti-itch cream for bug bites, etc). Hmm, it occurs to me that I could let her listen to my ipod with the earphones during the flight -- maybe the specialness of that would distract her.

Beanma -- I've asked her why she thinks her ears are going to hurt and she either won't tell me or doesn't really know. I think you're right that she just heard some random comment and has internalized it. That book sounds cute--I'm going to the library tonight and I'll see if they have it.

Now I just have to worry about keeping my 2-year-old entertained!

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mittendrin

· #5 · Jun 21, 2007

Honestly momma, I don't think there's anything you can do at this point but comfort her when she's freaked out. Since she's been flying before she knows what's coming and if the promise of having a special treat won't ease her worries, a book probably won't do it.
Luckily the trip is soon, so she won't have to be anxiuos for too much longer. IMO Keeping her busy and distracting her from the whole thing might help more than trying t force her to deal w the issue til Sunday w books and people constantly talking about it.
Good luck!

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lilylidou

· #6 · Jun 21, 2007

You may be able to reassure her that they will prevent ear pain. You can buy her some special airplane goodies . She will feel better.

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4evermom

· #7 · Jun 21, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by mittendrin

Luckily the trip is soon, so she won't have to be anxiuos for too much longer. IMO Keeping her busy and distracting her from the whole thing might help more than trying t force her to deal w the issue til Sunday w books and people constantly talking about it.
Good luck!

ITA Sometimes talking about a problem and trying to come up with solutions just feeds the anxiety. A casual response of "your ears have never hurt before on a plane" followed by a change in subject might work better.

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Very Snoofly

Discussion Starter · #8 · Jun 21, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4evermom

I agree with this in theory but my daughter is very, very persistent. Casual responses have never worked with this child! Last night she would not stop talking about it. She'd say, "Mommy, I don't want to go." I'd say, "I promise that everything will be just fine." She'd say, "I don't want to go. Do I have to go? Will you promise I don't have to go?" Over and over. Ignoring her does not help. Telling her to change to subject does not help. I think that's why I feel so bad for her, even though I know that she WILL be just fine. She's just so obsessive about it. Sigh.

Anyway, in three days the flight will be over and I'll be able to say, "See! Your ears were just fine!" I just hope that will cure her anxiety and I won't have to hear "Do we have to fly back home?" all week!

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AuntNi

· #9 · Jun 21, 2007

We had this exact problem in the fall, and I got some great suggestions from other MDC mamas on this thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=550766

We visited DD's ped before we left to make sure there was no fluid in her ears. He also gave us a prescription for those ear-numbing drops, but we didn't need them. I had DD drink juice, suck on candy, "yawn" a lot, and wear Earplanes. She didn't have ear pain on the trip, thank goodness. However, in the months since, she's forgotten the good experience and is back to insisting she'll never fly again. *Sigh.* Not that we have any money for vacations right now, so it's really not an issue.

Good luck!

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Laggie

· #10 · Jun 22, 2007

Maybe she heard about your ears 'popping' on the plane and thinks that is a bad thing, like your ears will break like a balloon or something?

I dunno, I always had bizarre interpretations of things I heard as a kid.

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mittendrin

· #11 · Jun 22, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laggie

never thought of that, sounds like it could be an explanation.

Wow, your dd really IS persistent. No advise then, hang in there and be patient. I hope the next few days go over very fast for you and dd.

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mommy68

· #12 · Jun 23, 2007

You could take a IPod or headphones for her. Does she have a game or favorite book to take along? I'd pack her a little bag of her own full of activities, favorite toys and snacks to take on the trip.

I would hype it up. When we flew late last year I told my DD she could sit by the window and she looked forward to that. I emphasized the fun stuff and didn't talk about the negative stuff. I also bought her a new toy (a stuffed animal) she had never seen before and gave it to her just before we left for the airport and told her she was responsible for taking care of it. She loved that idea and she was able to put her fears on the stuffed animal and made it as though the animal was scared, not her.

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taradt

· #13 · Jun 23, 2007

Can she pick out a special "airplane" toy? DD gets to do that every flight

good luck

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