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Has anyone had a ds or dd who can't regulate their emotions - okay, silly question. My ds turned 5 yo last week and I'm really concerned about how he has been behaving. We just got home from a party where he incessently badgered this other 5 yo boy to play with him. He kept getting right in his face and asking him to play. Now these two boys know each other and have played well together in the past, it just seems that my ds has become, I'd almost say a bully but I don't think there's a meanness to it. He just doesn't get the whole concept that he can't always get his way. I'll say also that he has started to throw wicked temper tantrums lately when he doesn't get his way - screaming and yelling. It seems like he can't control his emotions, that there is no regulator. Once something doesn't go his way, he just gets upset and will continue to escalate until a melt down. Tonight, he actually was so adamant that the other boy play with him, he didn't let him leave his room!<br><br>
I am obviously concerned b/c 5 yo or not, this isn't really socially acceptable behavior. But I'm also afraid he is going to alienate his friends (this isn't the first time he's been so incessant with his friends but is by far the worse it's been).<br><br>
Both my dh and I have tried talking with him, explaining how other kids don't want to play with someone who behaves like a bully. We've compared his behavior to a little boy who he use to be in school with (our ds wouldn't play with him b/c he was mean), etc.<br><br>
I will say that we have gone through some fairly significant life changes recently (a move and starting kindergarten andh having had a baby 11 months ago) which may be causing this. I say maybe b/c we moved in early July and he seems to like school but perhaps its a delayed rxn to everything.<br><br>
ANyways, if anyone has some advice, i'd really appreciate it.<br><br>
Thanks -<br><br>
Mona
 

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My DS is 5 too, just started kindergarten last week, and has a new baby sister, 6weeks. He too exhibits these types of behaviors at times, the tantrums, and yelling and screaming if he doesn't get his way. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: I'm interested in any ideas too.....<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Mama!
 

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I have no idea if this is the kind of answer you are looking for, but when my DS was 4 he would have utter-and-complete melt downs over seemingly simple and silly stuff. We were actually considering having him tested for Ausberger's b/c it seemed like little things would just set him off. Long story short, he we discovered that he has Celiac. Once we got him on a GF diet, his attitude and demeanor completely changed. We never would have thought that the Gluten in his system had such a profound effect.<br><br>
I am not saying that this situation is the same as yours, but we NEVER would have even suspected that removing something from his diet would change his behavior. It just so happened that he was having some other reactions that led us to have his allergies tested.<br><br>
My two cents....<br>
Curtis<br>
CR
 

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I just wanted to add that I am reading an excellent book on teaching problem-solving skills to kids called Raising a Thinking Child by Myrna Shure. It's a very basic method that starts with word play like using NOW/LATER, SOME/ALL, WHY/BECAUSE, and others focused on feelings, and then eventually it leads to dialogues. The focus is that the parent doesn't TELL the child what to think in those conflict situations which lead to melt-downs, hitting, throwing, tantrums, etc., but it teaches the parents how to guide their child in HOW to think through those situations themselves.<br><br>
It's been amazing work for us and our ds, and we've seen a huge difference in his behaviors. We have started approaching everything with, "Hmmm, let's find a solution here." And at 3.5 years, he is contributing solutions where he used to just physically react.<br>
HTH!
 

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I second the idea of looking into his diet. Had he eaten anything with artificial colors at the party? Synthetic colors and flavors set off a LOT of kids- plus food allergies and sensitivities can have behavioral effects as well.
 
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