Mothering Forum banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
704 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
How do we deal with this without shaming him? It seems to happen when he has a friend over or goes to the park with friends. For example- it was his sisters 3rd b-day party today and we realized aftewards that he'd pooped in his pants AND wet them. '<br><br>
I mean- he's been potty trained for 2 years!<br><br>
He gets pretty defensive at first then wont talk to us- then he doesnt want to clean himself up. Eventually- he says he's sorry for doing it. We say he doesnt have to be sorry- just try to go to the bathrroom!<br><br>
He so far hasnt done it as school or at sleepovers- so thats good at least.<br><br>
Any advice or sharing would help me!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
502 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>cdmaze</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6785296"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">How do we deal with this without shaming him? It seems to happen when he has a friend over or goes to the park with friends. For example- it was his sisters 3rd b-day party today and we realized aftewards that he'd pooped in his pants AND wet them. '<br><br>
I mean- he's been potty trained for 2 years!<br><br>
He gets pretty defensive at first then wont talk to us- then he doesnt want to clean himself up. Eventually- he says he's sorry for doing it. We say he doesnt have to be sorry- just try to go to the bathrroom!<br><br>
He so far hasnt done it as school or at sleepovers- so thats good at least.<br><br>
Any advice or sharing would help me!</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Is it possible to give him a routine that he can easily follow alone when he has an accident? It worked with my DS. My DS would have accidents at night sometimes at even age 6 and 7 which would drive me crazy! For both of our sake - not to shame him and for me to contain my anger, I taught him what to do. He could take a shower alone/wash up, take his sheets off the bed and put in the washer (just to sit), and that's it. The big deal for me was that it would be at like 3 a.m. and I had to get up and go to work so he needed to independently deal with it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
374 Posts
Just a thought -- but my daughter did the same thing at the same age. Found out she had a bladder infection. The doc even said the pooping and the peeping went hand in hand. If it happens only when he's too busy to go, that's probably not it. But if it happens on a regular basis, check it out.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,184 Posts
Just to let you know my 6 1/2 yo does this. On playdates, at school, wherever...<br><br>
Mostly, he has an immature bladder (is in Goodnites at night) and can't really feel when he has to go to the bathroom until it's almost too late. Then, if he's in a situation where he is busy and doesn't want to go, or isn't sure where the bathroom is, it is too late.<br><br>
We try to work on a bathroom routine of always going in the morning and one other time at school, but mostly I'm hoping it improves with maturity...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,039 Posts
Look into medicial issues first. Bladder infections is one another is encroprisis.<br><br><a href="http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/ci6.asp" target="_blank">http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/ci6.asp</a>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,388 Posts
If misery loves company ... my 7 YO still does this on occassion. For us, its a sure sign that he is feeling too stressed. Mostly he has pee accidents but occassionally its poop and that's the one I can't deal with very well. For urine, he knows that he needs to take off his wet things, leave them in the garage, and get dry clothes. The most I ever say to him is "looks like you need dry pants" and he takes care of it. For poop he needs help getting stuff off or it ends up everywhere and is really icky. So I help and make no comments at all. But after that, until things seem to have calmed down, I will make a point of requiring everyone (even the adults) to use the restroom before we head for the car, which is almost always where we run into trouble. I try to be proactive, non-reactive, and hope and pray it ends SOON!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,679 Posts
Well, if it's any comfort to you, my MIL tells me that my dh was HORRIBLE about accidents. He'd be off somewhere playing, wait until the last minute and not be able to make it home in time. This lasted well into early elementary school. My dh said it was just pure laziness on his part -- didn't want to have to leave to make it.<br><br>
My ds was close to the same way. Potty training was horrible because he refused to stop what he was doing because it was way more interesting than going to the bathroom. Like a pp said, I still remind him all the time to use the bathroom before we leave to go anywhere. The other thing I try to reinforce when I know he's been holding it for awhile and then finally goes is to ask him if he feels better now that he's relieved himself.....hopefully down the road, he'll get that it works better to be on the proactive side and that it doesn't pay to wait.
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top