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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 5 year old ds completely, absolutely, refuses to wipe himself. He won't even try, he just sits there until dh or I come to do it for him. We're getting extremely tired of this behaviour as we believe 5 years old is more than old enough to at least attempt to wipe yourself, even if we have to help a bit still. Whenever we suggest that he try to do it himself, he freaks out and cries a lot. This can't be normal, can it? Does anyone have any ideas/suggestions or *anything* that might help?
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sorry this is so stressful for you


however, i guess you dont want to hear from a mom like me, since my ds just turned 6 and he does not like to wipe himself either. but i dont really care, infact, he uses way to much toilet paper when he does try himself, even though i have tried to teach him that he cant use that much!
so in a way i dont mind wiping for now since i'm probably saving myself a visit from the plumber.


im sure another mom can give you some real advice. i just wanted to add that it is normal behavior, maybe drop it with your kiddo for now, or try not to show how it stresses you out so much. ? dunno.
 

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I still wipe my 5 yo. She'll be 6 in Feb!

Five just doesn't seem that old to me to still need some help with personal care. I still help her button some outfits, zip jackets, put on socks (she can do all these things, but likes help sometimes)....she still asks me to brush her teeth some nights.....I still wash her hair. It just doesn't seem like so "old" to be helping with wiping. They are still so little. I promise that he won't want you to wipe him when he hits puberty!


That said, you could try getting some moist wipes. We don't use them because we have a septic tank (and also because I am wary of the chemicals that might be on them). But that might jump start the process for you.
 

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Sorry you are having a ruff time.
I dont think 5 is too old to have help with wiping though.
But, if you dont want to do it have you tried the following:

Flushable Wet Wipes like Kandoos which make it easier for him to do it.

Sticker chart- Tell him what its for. Then give him a few chooses of prizes (ice cream, park, toy or whatever). I found it good to use a pic or have him color a pic of what he wants so it visual. Then Everytime he wipes he gets a sticker. When he gets to the end then he gets the prize.
Here is a free print off sticker chart:

http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com...tty-Chart1.gif

I would also tell him that you can "check his work" if he wants to make sure he did a good job. And that if he needs help sometimes thats ok, but you would like him to learn to do it.

Hope that helps! Good luck!
 

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My 5 3/4 yo ds won't wipe himself most of the time either. For awhile he was, but he was making such a mess by getting poop on his hands and rubbing them on the walls, or grabbing the bath towels to wipe himself! So at this point I don't mind. Interestingly, dd is wiping herself with no problems at age 3, no fuss, no mess.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. We already use the wet wipes & have done since he was potty trained. Sounds like it's a lot more common than we thought it was, so we'll leave things as they are for awhile & suggest it again in a couple months.
 

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Add us to the group -- our 5 1/2 year old will not wipe himself. Refuses to. He would, I think, sit there for hours rather than do it himself. Haven't tried that yet, but he has sat there for 20+ minutes while I was nursing his sister!

I've given up trying for now. When he turns 6, I'll start insisting that he do some of it himself, but right now, he clearly needs it, and it's only once a day!
 

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I wish my 6 1/2 yo would ask for help. He just skips wiping entirely.......I had to buy him VERY dark colored undies.
 

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my 5 y/o boy has only wiped himself once and that is b/c he had to go while the babysitter was there and didn't want "anyone not in my family" to wipe him. Have I gone too far on Stranger danger?!!!
SOunds pretty normal to me.
 

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my oldest is about 6.5 now and he finally started taking over wiping in the past year or so. We got to the point where he would start, but needed a finishing wipe with a wet wipey. He was using a ton of paper, partly in protest of us not helping
, but he's gotten better in the past couple of months.

Hang in there, try not to punish or shame him, and keep reinforcing that everyone eventually learns to wipe themselves
 

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Well, my 6 yo doesn't want to wipe and will sit and yell for me. He's my yougest of 4 kids and he's the only one who has done this. DH won't wipe and tells him to do it himself. And he does. I asked him if he wipes at school. And he does. When he does wipe, he does just fine so that's not it. I think my dh is correct and that my umbilical cord is going thwang.... Even my older kids are starting to comment that they think it's strange, so it's time for me to tell him to wipe himself and make myself have a job at the other end of the house.
 

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My sister was about 6-ish when she finally "wiped" on her own (she would be mortified if she knew I was telling this story (she's engaged to her BF now
)) and she would embarass my Mom to no end by shouting "MOMMY COME WIPE MY BOTTOM!" at the top of her lungs when she was done. Middle of the day, middle of the night, middle of dinner, with no one else home but Mom, with guests of all sorts, she would shout it regardless. I don't remember how my Mom finally got her to wipe herself, but she eventually quit ... I think my Mom may have refused to help her at one point, and just left my sis on the pot there until she gave up and wiped herself, but I'm not sure. Stressful then, funny now
:

I know that that probably isn't what you wanted to hear, but just know that it will end eventually. My sister wipes herself and everything now.
 

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My oldest two are 10 and 8 and I wiped them up until well in to K-1st grade. My youngest now is 4 and she will still ask me to wipe her if she poops. I see nothing wrong with that. Her arms are still very short and she has no idea how to thoroughly clean the area on her own.
 
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