[UrbanSimplicity]

Wow, I havent spent much time in this forum, cuz my dd has been such a great sleeper and I feel for you mamas whose posts I've been reading.

But I need your advice!

For about 3 weeks I've started to put my 6 mo dd in bed (family bed) for naps and at night. Previously she napped/slept in arms, in sling, or we just went to bed together. But about a month ago I sensed that I should try putting her down because I really want her to be in bed and not in a bright space hearing me on the phone, dh and i talking, the tv, or whatever. So I tried it out and it seemed to work....meaning I was actualy able to put her down without her waking/crying! BUT--she wakes up like every half an hour seemingly scared and confused!

So she has 30 minutes naps, (same as she's done all along) then wakes up and i immediately go to her. The part that has me concerned is mostly the nighttime wakings. It doesnt seem to be so bad during the day when its light out, but at night she is groggier and I HATE that she is scared/confused and searching for me for even the 5 seconds it takes me to get to her! (we live in a loft and there is just a partial wall between our common space and the bed.)

I leave a little nightlight on so she can see and we ALWAYS respond at the first peep---she never cries. But I feel like she's been waking up scared llike 4-6 times a day for 3 weeks now! That cant be good! But neither is her just sleeping on some random piece of furniture or the floor to be near me. What is the alternative? I cant go to bed at the same time as my 6 mo, and I have finally started to get some work done (im a WAHM) after she's in bed. (in other words i cant sit silently in the dark with her on my lap!)

Also, we've started to use the sling less---she is 20 lbs already and i have disc issues in my lower back. so shes in the sling everyday, but so much less than before--I feel like its too soon for her to be so Out-Of-Arms!

Am i expecting too much from her as far as staying asleep on her own? Any ideas or similar experiences? Can you recommend the best book/resource for learning about babies sleep cycles?

 

[UrbanSimplicity]

anybody?

 

[alegna]

Quote:

Originally Posted by brooklyn lisa That cant be good! But neither is her just sleeping on some random piece of furniture or the floor to be near me. What is the alternative?

Why not? My dd slept on a blanket on the floor much of her first year.

-Angela

 

[Enudely]

Sorry, no help here, my dd has always slept better on the bed than in a sling, and wakes up totally happy and doesn't even call for me, I have to go check on her to see that she;s awake! Have you tried swaddling? That helps dd sleep better... Good luck!

 

[dawncayden]

Sounds like us over here a bit.
but ds goes to bed with me at about 11pm. If I nurse him to sleep then get up he's up at 11:30. So I just stay in bed, read, or laptop or sleep.
I'd say if she can sleep with light and noise, Go For It! As long as she gets sleep and you get work done don't mess with it. She'll tell you when it doesn't work anymore.

Dawn

 

[UrbanSimplicity]

Hi, thanks for reading!

Like I said, she's slept great so far, so I havent done much self-education (yet!) on infant sleep. It just seems like a quieter and darker space is better for melatonin regulation.

I dont have a particularly noisy house but with the tv or music even on low, dh and i chatting, or on the phone, the lights on, washing diapers or dishes, etc, I prefer to tuck her away (like 10 feet away!) around the corner on the bed.

Also, this is like the one time I finally do anything around here! So it's not like I can just have her next to me, on a blanket or whatever like we've done so far. (the bills havent been paying themselves these past few months!

Mama needs to make some jewelry!)

Any other thoughts?

 

[UrbanSimplicity]

Hi Dawn, I posted just before I saw your post!

 

[alegna]

Biologically it seems to me that early man would not have gone off and left a sleeping baby- just doesn't seem safe. So my theory is that baby is disturbed by that. I listened to baby and kept her near me until she was comfortable sleeping away from me.

-Angela

 

[UrbanSimplicity]

Um, I'm not LEAVING her!

I'm a new mom looking for a little support and advice, not a subtle lecture and scolding!

I've read the judgemental mamas thread---trust me, I'm not the enemy

 

[alegna]

I didn't mean it that way at all. I just meant that if she's uncomfortable when she wakes that maybe she needs to be where she can see you.

-Angela

 

[Lovin' It]

I have back issues, as well, and my dd (about 6 mos.) was waking up scared also. I did more research into babywearing and found that many babywearers have several carriers. I use three different ones on a regular basis. Each of them are good for a particular activity. It wasn't too much longer (8 or 10 months old or so, of course every child is different) before she decided that it wasn't one of her needs anymore and could knock out anywhere. I would just keep her close like you did before if your back can handle it. If not, I understand. My back is kind of out right now and picking up my 20+lb. 15 mo is painful. I have definitely been spending more time than usual on the floor just so I can avoid picking her up.

My husband can sleep sitting up with his legs crossed and his neck all cocked. It's beyond me

: . I asked him how he could sleep like that. He said that if he was alseep and felt fine and rested when he woke then what difference did it make. I let our dd sleep wherever and she was happy to be near mama. Now she's more comfortable with being in our bed alone. Today she was tired, climbed into bed and called to me to nurse her to sleep for a nap. I was overjoyed.

 

[Enudely]

I'm into the whole baby wearing thing, but seriously, dd won't sleep longer than 1/2 hour in a carrier, where she'll sleep up to 3 on the bed! I have to admit, it's really nice to have a little break, especially on my back muscles

 

[ndunn]

My daughter did this too, if she naps for longer than like 1 hour, she wakes up and screams bloody murder, at which point I would rush in but she seemed so disoriented and it would take ahwile to calm her. I've started to let her nap next to me and as long as she's on me she doesn't wake up and scream. Although bed times I'm no help because she doesn't do this at night! good luck though.

 

[UrbanSimplicity]

Ah, yes, forgot to mention that we will be getting a MT carrier for my b-day next month, and that should help. Babyhawk has this great new version with a head rest that should be perfect for naps!

For nighttime I've been staying with her till that first half hour point that she stirs and this has worked. (twice so far

)

 

[ochoco]

Hi,

We are doing the same thing with our 8-month-old. He actually has a little floor bed in "his" room (he's only ever there for playing and naps; he sleeps with us at night). He used to sleep on our bed, but I worried about him rolling off. Now if he rolls, he'd just go right on the carpet...

Anyway, he also will wake up, and it tends to be right at 40 minutes or so. And it was the same as you're describing - he sounds scared, since he fell asleep with me there and now I'm gone. Sad! But I also can't stay in bed with him for 15 hours/day (we need to eat! and don't go telling me that primitive human mothers stayed in bed all day!). He's an extremely light sleeper - he absolutely would not sleep in his MT while I do dishes or whatever. So, since I figured that out, what I'll do is really listen/walk to his room right around then and peep in. Seems like nine times out of ten I'll catch him with his eyes open, looking around. If he's still asleep, I'll check a couple of minutes later. When he's awake, I'll slip in, lie down with him and offer the breast, he'll usually nurse for about five minutes and then fall asleep again.

When he's truly rested, he'll usually wake up and 'talk' to himself for a while - he's in a good mood, and it gives me the ten seconds I need to get to his room before he feels alone.

I don't know if this is at all helpful, but I'm definitely there with you, anyway.

 

[yequanamama]

Hi, brooklyn lisa! (My oldest was born in NYC, and my youngest was born during a massive snowstorm too - on the first day of spring!

)

Your daughter's behavior sounds perfectly normal and your response perfectly appropriate! My two daughters both had this cycle: I'd nurse them to sleep on my bed at night (8:30 or 9:00), and they'd wake about 30 minutes later, at which point I'd pop back into the room and nurse them back to sleep. DD2 would be asleep for the night after one or two cycles of this. DD1, my spirited child, would often do this for 4 cycles (sometimes with only 20 minutes between) before she'd be asleep for good. I didn't get a lot done at night with my oldest! With dd2, I was able to accomplish more.

Every baby's different - ds is usually asleep right from the beginning, around 8:00 (God bless #3!

) Do whatever works in your situation. I wouldn't worry about her waking scared/confused - as she's just getting used to this arrangement, it's new for her. The operative issue is that you're there in a heartbeat. She knows you always come when she needs you.

"The No-cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley explains babies sleep/wake cycles quite well, as does "Nighttime Parenting" by the Sears. Good luck!

 

[pixilixi]

We have very similar experiences!

My ds is only 4 1/2 months old, and I carry him in a sling for almost all of his naps - otherwise, he is laying in my lap (usually while I'm on the computer). I am finding the slinging no major problem - he is about 17 pounds now, and I use a wrap sling and have just purchased an Ergo which I'm using for the first time in front right now! i think it will be great.

When i do lay him down on the bed or on the futon mattress on the floor (currently in lounge as a 2nd bed), he will wake up after 30 - 40 minutes, and seem freaked out if I'm not there. Of course, I go to him asap, and usually nurse him back to sleep unless he greets me with smiles. then I assume he's had enough rest and get him up.

For nighttime, I sometimes just nurse him between sleep cycles on the couch (in my lap) while I watch tv, until I go to bed.

We now have a tv in the bedroom, so if I'm feeling tired, I'll go to bed at the same time as he does (say 9pm ish) and watch tv or read until I pass out.

It's so good to know that there are others who have had these experiences - and live to tell! Thankyou mamas!

 

[MOM2ANSLEY]

The only way ds sleeps well without touching mama(or aunt rachie whwn i work) is in his swing or bouncie seat...not crunchy I know but for the 1st 2months he ONLY slept while moving...so I sit him in seat wherever I am and he seems fine....btw he occasionally seems disoriented when he wakes in the bed....have you ever slept sooo hard it took you a second to realize where you were when you woke, guess babies do too kwim

 

[annabeans]

Oh-I feel for you

since we are experiencing the same thing. So I end up just letting DD nap on my lap and we go to bed together. If i put her down she just wakes. I love the time, but I can't get anything done!!

We do have a wrap and a MT and

them! But still doesn't completely solve issue. Please keep us informed on your progress!

 

[MelW]

This is one of those "it takes a village" kind of scenarios- I think if we were raising our kids more collectively you could tuck your baby in with another kid or baby, or have someone else nearby

But what works for us is knowing the predictable time when my dd might wake up and going in to the bedroom to be with her. I can almost set an alarm by her sleep cycles! If I'm there she ususally either wakes up happy, or half wakes up, nurses, then goes back to sleep. Sometimes I do quite things in the bedroom (like folding laundry or tidying up), other times I slip back into bed with her. I think its the half awake times when she is actually waking up crying- she needs to nap a bit longer, but needs some help to get through to the next sleep cycle.

Good luck!