[LukeDuke]

Our family had always had a family bed until about 9 months ago. Dh and I ended the family bed-room because we were having a hard time staying connected, we even separated for a time. My dcs were 2.5 and 5. As for the bedroom change, my dd (2.5) was fine with it, she loved sleeping with her brother in their bunk bed.

My ds is still having a hard time with it. He will be 6 very soon and begs almost nightly to sleep with me. It breaks my heart to say no, but I really don't see the logistics in it. I don't sleep for another 2-3 hours and our living room is our bedroom, so if I want to watch tv, or his father wants to watch, ds won't fall asleep.

Not to mention we have a queen bed with dh being 230 lbs and 6'4", and my ds already standing tall to my shoulder! There just isn't room for everyone.

Has anyone been through this with older children? Are there alternatives you came up with? I sometimes tell him we can sleep together on the weekends, but even then he doesn't get enough sleep, and he really needs too!!

Thanks in advance!

 

[RockStarMom]

Can you just wait until after he's asleep to watch TV? Or does he wake up?

 

[AbbieB]

I'm going through his same thing with my 5.5 year old. The begging to sleep with me (not next to me in her own space, but literally right next to me!) started 3 weeks ago.

I think there must be a growth spurt happening. I have noticed a change in the type of questions she has been asking and in her awareness of the world. For DD growth = clingyness.

I have been trying to meet everyone's needs the best I can, and at the same time asserting my needs (recovering from some very sore muscles/bad back stuff aggravated by sleeping on an air mattress.) What is working the best is for DD to go to sleep in her bed while I watch TV/play on the computer in the same room. She comes into our room later to sleep on a few folded up comforters with her sleeping bag on top on the floor next to the bed. When DH gets up for work she can then join me and little brother in the big bed.

For me the most frustrating thing about this whole period is DH's complete and totally lack of willingness to compromise. While I am juggling the kids night time needs he is refusing to change anything he does to help the other 3 of us get a good nights sleep too. He sees nothing wrong with the 3 of us on air mattresses and kid beds in the living room while he sprawls across the comfy king size temperpedic in the bedroom. He throws a hissy fit if his sleep is disturbed for any reason. But he wants the kids to cosleep. OK, rant over.

What is getting me through the rough nights is the confidence that this will pass. That and the knowledge that cosleeping is for my benefit too. I need to be close to the kids at night so I can be relaxed. I am willing to work to find the best solution.

 

[rzberrymom]

Could you bring his mattress into your room? That's what we did for my DD, and the comfort of having DH and me nearby seems to be enough, without having to actually be in our bed.

DH and I wait until my DD is asleep, and then we sit in bed and talk and read books--she sleeps right through it. We don't have a tv so I don't have any experience with whether that would bother her, but I imagine she would sleep right through it.

 

[LukeDuke]

"Could you bring his mattress into your room? That's what we did for my DD, and the comfort of having DH and me nearby seems to be enough, without having to actually be in our bed."

That's a good idea, we have a loveseat in our room that he could fall asleep on. The two things I worry about though are his sister's need to have him in their room and my dh's cooperation.

Thanks for all your responses!

 

[Shenjall]

Maybe its the age? My 6yr dd is asking to sleep in our room again. We moved her into a room with her sis (16) last fall and she's only been back when she's sick but for the past couple of nights she's been wanting to come back in. We have a large enough room for our king and a single (we call it the "emergency bed"

) so its not an issue so much for us, b/c she will happily sleep in the emergency bed so we all still get a good nights sleep. But it does seem odd that she's doing it. And then I come here and see others going thru the same thing.

So, I've got nothing.

Would rzberrymom's suggestion of bringing a matt into your room work?