6-yr-old ds threw eggs at neighbor's house

988 Views 11 Replies 12 Participants Last post by octobermom, Apr 17, 2009

Alohamama

Discussion Starter · Apr 16, 2009

Hi! My almost-7-year-old DS apparently threw eggs at our neighbor's house, and also picked our ripe lemons and threw them into her yard. (I say apparently because I did not see him doing it myself, but our neighbor assures us it was him, and he admits it.) He does not have any particular bad feeling towards this neighbor, it appears he was just bored.

DH is especially upset that DS lied about it when we asked him, but I feel the lying is normal (though not acceptable). What worries me more is that it would occur to him to throw eggs and lemons at someone else's house. "Gosh, I'm bored, I think I'll gather our chicken's eggs and throw them at the neighbor's house" - I just don't get that!

We are having him apologize to the neighbor and the landlady (who went ballistic when she saw the eggs), and do something nice (wash their car?) for the neighbor who went ahead and cleaned up the mess. I'm not sure what else to have him do. I guess I need to supervise him whenever he's outside, or not let him go outside without me there, for a while. Do I have him help me with the housework so I can take the time to be outside supervising him?

Any advice would be appreciated. I feel that I have failed as a parent when he does something like this.

Thanks!

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Evan&Anna's_Mom

· #2 · Apr 16, 2009

I think having him help around the house so you have time to supervise him while he is outside seems sensible. Definitely I would say he can't be outside without supervision for the next little while. I would probably also have him tend the lemon tree and maybe chickens (sounds like that's where eggs came from) for a bit if possible.

Of course if there is property damage as a result of this you will need to take care of that.

Then I would figure out a preventative measure for boredom. A sport? New chores? Something that can cure the underlying issue.

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USAmma

· #3 · Apr 16, 2009

It sounds like you are being very reasonable about things. I'm sorry he did this. Kids sometimes do impulsive things. I remember when I threw unripe grapefruit at our neighbor's house at about that age. Because I was bored.

My dad made me eat one of them so I would learn not to waste food. I would not of course recommend that consequence. I think doing an extra favor in addition to cleaning the mess is a nice idea. Some people are touchy about their cars. Maybe he can pull weeds for them or sweep their driveway instead.

As far as being outside unsupervised, maybe just tell him that since you can't trust him to make the right decision, he can't go outside unsupervised for awhile (maybe until he's made amends with the neighbor?). Until then you are not going to bend over backwards to sit there and watch him because you have things to do, but if you happen to have the time then he can go out and play for awhile.

Good luck! At least it was just lemons and eggs and not rocks. My dd threw rocks at the side of the neighbor's house and nearly hit their window. Again, boredom was the culprit. She also painted the entire top of her foot with pink nail polish. Why? Even she doesn't know. But she discovered that (a) it doesn't wash off very easily and (b) I was not going to run out for some polish remover and she would just have to live with it. Kids . . . .

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mamaduck

· #4 · Apr 16, 2009

My Gosh. How strange! I wonder if there was someone else involved? Did you ask him if a friend did this with him? It sounds like something an older child would influence.

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Snuzzmom

· #5 · Apr 16, 2009

Oh, I don't think it's all that strange. Kids are just weird like that.

I definitely think having him help the neighbor is a great idea, also tending the chickens and lemon tree since those are the most applicable to what he actually did.

When I was a teenager I snuck out one night with a friend who said she was running away. *I* wasn't going to run away... I had always planned to sneak back in the next day. Well, we both got caught, and my dad's punishment to me was to go to the library to research and write a 500-word essay about runaways. I was grounded until the paper was done and met his approval.

I always thought that was a pretty good punishment, because I was an active part of it. I got learn on my own about the dangers, it was up to me how long I take to do it, and there was still accountability for quality so I couldn't just write whatever. I'm not sure if anything like that could apply here, but it's something to think about.

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SophieAnn

· #6 · Apr 16, 2009

As an extension of tending to the lemons & chickens, he could gather eggs and pick lemons and you could prepare a treat with them together.

Lemon cookies
Egg bread
Scrambled eggs
Lemonade

Perhaps having a hand in preparing (and eating) the lemons & eggs would help him to value them for the pleasure & nourishment they provide.

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phathui5

· #7 · Apr 16, 2009

If it were my ds, I'd say he owes the neighbor some housecleaing or yardwork and then let her decide what he needs to do to make restitution.

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TinkerBelle

· #8 · Apr 16, 2009

My son spray painted a piece of our neighbor's house. We told them that whatever they needed done, he was to come over and do it, to pay restitution. They had him pick up rotten grapefruit out of their yard. He also apologized and helped to remove the spray paint.

Why did he do it? He was bored. Arrrrgh! I explained to him that we do not vandalize other people's property and that if he were to get caught, he could end up in juvvie and we could have to go to court with him.

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LynnS6

· #9 · Apr 17, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by SophieAnn

I'd go for preparing the treat only if he then brought it over to the neighbors.

I would ask the neighbors how long it took them to clean up and then ask your ds to spend an equivalent amount of time doing some chores for them. Then bake them something nice with lemons and eggs and be done with it.

Kids do really odd things when they're bored. He probably wasn't thinking "oooh, I want to get my neighbor's house dirty" he was thinking "I wonder how far I can throw this? cool! It went splat on their house! Do lemons do that?" He's not a future psychopath, just a bored kid.

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zipworth

· #10 · Apr 17, 2009

Mmmmmmmm......all this talk about lemons and eggs!

Lemon meringue pie or lemon squares are what I would would like!

This could be a valuable learning experience for your son. Baking the neighbors something from eggs and lemons has a cute ironic twist to it. I would get a huge kick out of it, were I your neighbor

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meemee

· #11 · Apr 17, 2009

how well do you know your neighbours?

my cousin did something similar and his mom made him go over and offer to help as restitution.

in the process neighbour and cousin became really good friends and the chores continued and cousin got paid for it. neighbour became a mentor and a v. v. close friend of the family.

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octobermom

· #12 · Apr 17, 2009

Kids do stupid things... I mean that nicely. Have him applogize and make amends having him with in your sight for a while might also be in order. I'm not to sure that baking something out of lemons and eggs to give the neighbors will go over as great as we'd like it it would depend on the neighbors however it could bea good activity for the two of you

Deanna

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