Mothering Forum banner

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
333 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was shocked to hear my 6 yr. old tell me recently that she thinks her thighs are fat compared to other girls. She seems so young to notice such things! And we keep a media-free home, I thought she would be spared any body angst. The thing is, she is about nearly 48" tall and 50 lbs. Her best friend is maybe 1/4 inch taller, but thinner looking - appears to have no baby fat left. (her parents are both 6 feet tall). My dh and I are shorter - I am 5' 2", my dh 5' 8". dh is also stocky & dd takes after him. And the thigh issue - she has more weight there, what looks like baby fat to me, which seems fine to me - including a dimpled bottom and upper thighs in the back. So now that I've noticed this, I'm second -guessing myself - I'm wondering if this is "normal" for her age or should she be trimming down by now - is the dimpling cellulite? She could be a bit more active, she tends to prefer reading books to breaking a sweat (doesn't like bike-riding, etc). Anyway, I wonder if I should be getting her more active. She doesn't overeat and we never buy junk food or many sweets, no juice. I tell her she is beautiful just as she is and everyone "jiggles" a bit, as she says, but possibly I'm neglecting fitness.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,678 Posts
Her body angst could be coming from inside her own home - with you wondering if she "should be trimming down by now" (what does that even mean?) and thinking she "could be more active." Maybe think about your own feelings around "fat" and what messages you may be sending out consciously or unconsciously. Worrying about cellulite on a 6 year old seems quite sad.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
333 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>fek&fuzz</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11600426"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Her body angst could be coming from inside her own home - with you wondering if she "should be trimming down by now" (what does that even mean?) and thinking she "could be more active." Maybe think about your own feelings around "fat" and what messages you may be sending out consciously or unconsciously. Worrying about cellulite on a 6 year old seems quite sad.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Thanks for your support. You assume much. I had never considered her weight before she brought it up to me. I am thinking only of health, I could care less about appearances. I make a point of never discussing whether someone is "fat" or "thin" with my dd, that is why I brought this up here - wondering why she would think such a thing. We are a Waldorf family who purposely shield our children from any shallow concepts this culture places on our kids. Where I have been lax, is with our activity level. Like I said, my dd has always preferred sedentary activities to things like riding a bike. I simply wanted to know whether she might need more exercise, and if the dimples might indicate that. Also, I had heard that breastfed children may have more residual baby fat - she nursed for 3.5 years, so anyway, just want to be sure I'm not mistaken about these things and she is healthy. I really don't know much about physical fitness in children.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,990 Posts
At 6 I would not worry about her weight or any baby fat. It sounds like she is just noticing different sizes, or maybe someone said something to her that she did not tell you about?<br><br>
It does sound like you are saying she is not getting enough exercise/not a high activity level, which at 6 or at any age is not good. It is good for kids to learn at an early age to be active it will help build healthy habits for life. Possibly could your whole family take a walk after dinner every night and find a activity she may enjoy like swimming, gymnastics, ballet, karate or whatever that she could go to weekly? From what have read an hour of physical activity is a good amount for grade school age. My son gets much more than that and we also take a walk nightly for at least 30 mins.<br><br>
Best of luck, just remind her everyone comes in all different shapes and sizes and thats what makes us all special and unique.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
333 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>doriansmummy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11601131"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">At 6 I would not worry about her weight or any baby fat. It sounds like she is just noticing different sizes, or maybe someone said something to her that she did not tell you about?<br><br>
It does sound like you are saying she is not getting enough exercise/not a high activity level, which at 6 or at any age is not good. It is good for kids to learn at an early age to be active it will help build healthy habits for life. Possibly could your whole family take a walk after dinner every night and find a activity she may enjoy like swimming, gymnastics, ballet, karate or whatever that she could go to weekly? From what have read an hour of physical activity is a good amount for grade school age. My son gets much more than that and we also take a walk nightly for at least 30 mins.<br><br>
Best of luck, just remind her everyone comes in all different shapes and sizes and thats what makes us all special and unique.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br>
You know, I've trying to think back on what she might have heard from someone - and then I remembered (how could I have forgotten?) that I had to have a conversation with my mother 2 years ago about referring to herself as "fat grandma" in front of dd. She would often call herself fat, which is bad enough - made even worse by the fact that she is actually very thin and barely eats. How confusing that must have been to dd - I tried to explain to my mom how harmful that is to a child & she took great offense, but stopped doing it. The other grandma is not much better, but is too set in her ways to change. And who knows, perhaps she heard talk in school, or at the park?<br><br>
We do need more exercise as a family - I know I'm not modeling good behavior in that respect, since my second baby was born 20 months ago, I rarely get any decent exercise - that needs to change. Dd is in swimming classes now, & is beginning to warm up to it. My dh & I used to hike & camp often before we had kids, but now dd complains the whole time when we hike - how boring it is & that she's tired. She took "ballet" when she was younger, but it didn't hold her interest. She's very cautious on her bike & won't ride it. She did actually learn to jump rope 2 weeks ago & loves it! - a good thing - we live in a condo with no yard, don't need a yard to jump rope. So there's something. Thanks - we'll be taking more walks too!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,088 Posts
It definitely could have been something she heard. Last year when ds only 2.5 he all of a sudden was crying for a haircut. MIL had made comments, as had a boy at a race. I was pretty mad, but I figured it is just the beginning. I hope my kids can learn to shrug that stuff off.<br><br>
However, I do think physicl activity is important for the body and mind. There are all different ways to be active. I was not very active is kid becuse I HATE team sports. However, I love running and cycling and yoga and swimming. Maybe your dd doesn't like bike riding, but might like hiking or soccer. Try some different things. Personality impact choice of physical activity.<br><br>
You are a sensitive, thoughtful mama. That second poster was odd. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,032 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Mamma I wonder if one of her friends said something about her thighs? Girls/Women are mean to one another I see it on MDC aswell<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">.....It seems weird to me she would just one day start thinking her thighs were big.I think its perfectly healthy for you to wonder yourself if she should trim down a bit, I mean we all want our kids to be healthy kwim?I dont think extra weight is healthy on anyone.I think running at the park,walking at the zoo,walking after dinner as a family would be super health for all,and if your dd would enjoy rollerskating or ridein her bike why you all walked sounds like a good healthy habit to get into as a family. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,764 Posts
My dd is 8 and has a bit of cellulite on her thighs. She has no idea about it, but I have noticed (not concerned, just noticed). She's pretty active (but she would also spend the entire day reading if we let her) and a good height/weight. I think it's just a case of genetics. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
My second dd is 6 and still has somewhat of a toddler "pot belly". She told me one day that her tummy is chubby. It made me so sad, but she said it in a totally matter-of-fact way and hasn't mentioned it again. She is a runner and I make a point of praising her hard work in training and reminding her how strong and healthy she is.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,734 Posts
As an artsy and bookish person who is now trying to reteach herself to be active I think you are on the right track. Better now than at age 37!<br><br>
There was an article in our local paper today on a program for kids that and "Art-tathalon". The do arts stuff AND train for a kid sized triathalon.<br>
That sounds so much cooler to me than "art camp" or "insert sport here camp"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,404 Posts
Dimply fat is normal for kids up to puberty and girls for their whole lives. Teenage boys and men tend not to get cellulite, though some do. Around 99% of women have cellulite - something to bear in mind when we are ALL looking at our dimples...<br><br>
Someone will have said something. You don't need to respond any differently than you have been - people are all different, that's all. You've told her that and modelled that and she will soon remember it. Lots of us have moments where we re-examine what we think about things and sadle 6 is an age when kids begin to really value their peers' opinions. She will come through just fine, don't worry <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Make hiking fun - make it into a nature walk. A new route gives an opportunity to identify new plants and trees and spot different animals and insects, a familiar route gives a chance to watch the progress of an area and its inhabitants through the seasons. You could also plant a tree or two of your own so she can go visit "her tree" which gives more meaning to the hike if she finds it totally pointless. If she's arty collect flowers to press or fall leaves to collage. If she's intellectual use the rhythm of walking to chant maths tables or poems or prayers or whatever (Waldorf is great for rhymes and poems anyway - you could ask her class teacher what they're currently doing). Read the books she just read and have a "book review hike" together, where you pick over characters and plot points - walking book club, brilliant fun!<br><br>
You could try to relate what you're doing to what she is reading about - kids book about a girl with a pony? Take her horseback riding for a day. Book about sailors? Take her to a place where there are boats to look at/talk about. Book about dolls? Take her to a toy hospital or museum to see all the different kinds of doll etc. It takes imagination for ME, a highly motivated adult, to keep exercising, so it's not a surprise that a 6 year old who isn't that keen would need to have even more incentive.<br><br>
How is she will trying to succeed/practising etc.? When i was a kid i hated sport because i was smart and instantly good at most academic things and so i really didn't get that even the world champions of a sport had to start at some point and had to practice hard to get that good. If she's naturally talented at intellectual things you might need to work on letting her know that most people have to work at most things to get better and most people enjoy things more when they get better at them.<br><br>
I have a million more ideas but hopefully that's a good start <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
772 Posts
I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to make sure your daughter is a healthy weight and has a good body image.<br>
My DD has my thighs which are strong and capable but don't conform to today's ideal. I think my brother called me thunder thighs when I was a kid. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br>
She also seems to have best friends that are tall and lanky so she does compare herself with others. Like the OP's daughter, my DD would much rather curl up with a book than just about anything else.<br>
The benefits of sports for girls are well documented so I am a big proponent of sports for kids. Family hikes are fine but mastering a skill with her body can help a girl see that she is so much more than how she looks.<br>
My DD tried ball sports and just is not that good at them (like me). She's not a huge team player either.<br>
I like Martial Arts for girls...any body type can do it, there's bilateral brain integration, it's great for self confidence and a good martial arts program will have a strong contemplative element. DD's very into Kung Fu. She also has a swimming teacher who recognizes her natural ability in the pool so she's going full guns there finally.<br>
Help your DD find a sport that challenges her and maximizes her natural abilities.
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top