Mothering Forum banner

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
19 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 7 1/2 daughter is majorly regressing and it's upsetting the whole family. I finally got kids/babies out of our bed about a year ago. My two dd's were sleeping well in their own beds for over a year and then the elder started needing us in the night. She wanted to camp out on the floor of our bedroom. This became nightly for several months. Now she can't fall asleep in that situation and she needs to be next to me. So Daddy is (once again) kicked out for the time being. Basically she says she is scared of having bad dreams, she's scared of going to sleep. I feel strongly that she is not being manipulative, there is truly something going on here. School is going fine, there have been no stressful or traumatic events in our lives. We've tried ignoring the problem and just not making an issue out of it, we've tried me sleeping in her bed (no go). My hubby and I are so frustrated and exhausted. I wouldn't mind it if I saw an end in sight but I don't. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Is this a developmental stage?? Should we seek professional help? The poor thing is really distressed about not being able to fall asleep. She is totally psyching herself out (which I know I've done). She is very strong willed and I keep telling myself she'll grow out of it and decide to start sleeping on her own when she's ready but this has gone on for months and has gotten worse! Thanks for any insights/suggestions!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
724 Posts
Hang in there, mama.<br><br>
My dd slept in my bed until she turned 9, my ds was in my room until he was 9.<br><br>
My suggestion, although this may not work for your family, would be to make it a complete non issue. Buy a really BIG bed or just push a bunch of mattresses together on the floor. That way everybody who wants to sleep in the bedroom has room to do so. And then I wouldn't worry about it. My 2 big kids are now 2 of the most independant I know at almost 10yo and almost 13yo but they were GLUED to me for YEARS. Once they outgrow that need it is done.<br><br>
Best of luck to you, mama.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,862 Posts
DS was coming in our room every night and it wasbecoming an issue for various reasons. I made him a chart and each day that he stayed in his bed he got a sticker. At the end of a whole week of stickers he got a small thing he got to pick out - little stuff, like he got a whistle one week and a jump rope the next.<br><br>
Its worked out really well for us. If I had thought he was having emotional issues and needed us I wouldnt have done it, but I felt he was doing it just because he got up and felt like it, kwim?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,272 Posts
Make a dream catcher together to catch the bad dreams. When it hangs over her bed all the bad dreams get caught and only good dreams can come through.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,636 Posts
My son's a bit younger (almost 5) but similarily has moved back into our bed due to fear of bad dreams. We let him fall asleep with us but move him back to his bed after he's fallen asleep. Would that work for you?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
470 Posts
I like pp idea of the stickers. That way, if she is ready, the stickers will be enough to motivate her. However, if that does not work, then she must really need you . I slept with my parents till 9 years old and started at about your daughters age because of scary stories etc heard on the playground. I think a very vivid imagination can make night time terrrifying. It did not last forever and I gained a lot of support knowing that no matter what, my parents would be there to protect me during that time. I also like pp idea of a mattress next to your bed or a big room of mattresses. Do not kick DH out, but you may have to accomodate dd for awhile.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,134 Posts
Recently, my 7 yr old didn't want to sleep in her room anymore because of bad dreams. (It didn't get so far as to her being back in bed with us though). However, it did become a disruption and we needed to end it. First, we let her sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor of her sister's room--she loved that but her sleep wasn't good and she was often crabby. So, we set a date to move back in to her bed. She came up with the date -- I was like "Anna when do you think you will be back in your room?" and she all of a sudden said "March 1st". At the time it was over a month away. Once March came, we moved her back to her room. But now, Kayla "starts" with her and we move her when we go to bed. I don't know why, but letting her pick a date and helping her stick to it seemed to put the control on her side (and we saw an end to the madness).<br><br>
Amy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
71 Posts
Our 9 yr. old DS finally stopped joining us in bed a month ago!! It was right about the time we started to give him "Rescue Remedy" a Bach Flower Essence for anxiety, and serving him and his sister Chamomile tea before bed. Coincidence? Don't know-but he has stated he can finally sleep at night now. Maybe worth trying...the dreamcatcher is also a great idea! BTW, that Rescue Remedy is the best thing ever for a child who is stressed or anxious. It brings his emotions into normal range and makes it easier for him to handle stress etc. We also give it to our dogs and has worked for them, so I know it's not a placebo effect.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,205 Posts
my 6yr dd jsut started waking up in the middle of the night with nightmares, never happened when she was a toddler. She actually stopped waking in the night once she night weaned ~15m old.<br><br>
We still co-sleep, so being besides me doesn't "fix" the issue. Currently, dd will wake me and if she can't fall back asleep with cuddling we will go to the living room and watch TV where she normally falls asleep within minutes.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
311 Posts
Maybe put a mattress on the floor in your room, and give her a special "nightmare" sleeping bag. Let her stay in your room as long as she needs to, but don't make your husband vacate the bed--that is unfair to him!
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top