[Eli's_mom]

I don't even know if this is the right place to be starting this thread, but here goes anyways.
My son was born just over 8 months ago. I couldn't push him out...I had an epidural and either he was stuck or I didn't know what I was doing, or a little of both. His heart rate kept dropping, so I was given a choice between forceps or a c-section. We didn't have much time to make the decision and I was exhausted, so we chose forceps first, then c-section if that didn't work. The doctor thought my baby was turned the wrong way, so they turned him around with the forceps and yanked him out (I could feel my body slide down the table when they pulled on his head...poor guy). It turns out the doctor turned him so he was facing the wrong way (He was facing right to begin with) and I ended up with 4th degree tearing and 45 minutes repairing the tear. For a month I couldn't sit on anything unless I brought a pillow, and now 8 months later I'm still sore....it's tender when I cough, sometimes when I sit, and it almost constantly hurts no matter what I'm doing. Is this in any way normal with that degree of tearing? My doctor isn't easy to talk to and she just sort of shrugged it off and suggested I message the area. That's too weird for me to do. If anyone else has experienced this, please let me know. I'm afraid I will be sore for the rest of my life!! I wish I had picked c-section. darn.

 

[plantmommy]

I'm sorry I can't help, but there are women who've had similar experiences. I would post this in the "birth and beyond" forum.

 

[JennP]

I would definatly find a different dr for atleast a second opinion.

Someone to look at the area and make sure the stiches were not put in too tight or there is no lingering infection.

Sorry you are having to deal with this. I did not tear BUT I find it hard to believe that you should not be healed better by now.

Please seek a second opinion on your healing. If massage works I would try it. There is nothing wrong with that. (But I understand how it could be uncomfortable.)

Hope you are feeling better soon
JennP

 

[kweir]

I know what you are talking about.

While I didn't have to use forceps, I did have quite a tear and had to be stitched up afterwards. Then when my dd was about 4 months I was still not feal right and had a surgery to sort of restitch the area b/c it was not healing. That surgery did not resolve my problems, so I had another one. Then I went to see another doc., and a physical therapist who specialized in massage and kegel exercises. Finally around 6 months, I could at least walk without thinking about the pain. Now dd is almost 11 months and I think I am still only 95% healed, but I'll take that at this point.

My doc was actually very helpful and explained that this kind of thing happens about 1 in 300 births. He also said since I was exclusively bfing that I didn't have much estrogen to help myself heal. But he did not want me to stop bfing so that I could heal- and I agreed with that. He gave me some estrogen cream and some numbing stuff so I could at least get around and do stuff. I took sitz baths several times a day for about 6 months. He also found me a physical therapist, another ob/gyn, and talked to herbalists and bounced ideas off other people.
When I went to the physical therapist she gave me a bunch of exercises and massages to do. Kegels, Kegels, Kegels!! I found that I was very weak down there and had to 3 sets of 10 whenever I thought about it or at least three times a day and try to hold each kegel for 10 seconds- it was quite difficult but got easier. The reason to do them was it brought blood to the area which encouraged the healing process. One of my docs said that if I still wasn't noticing any improvement that I could get a novacain shot in that area to numb it up and try to make it so my nerve endings would sort of forget that there was pain there...I still might try that.

I suggest getting many different opinions. Your dr. should not have any trouble suggesting someone or finding you some help. There is no reason to be in so much pain this long after child birth.
If you have anymore questions just ask or if I think of something else I will let you know.
I know how this pain is all consuming. You can't think of much else while you are in pain and so other things are suffering...

 

[stafl]

I'm going to move this to the Birth and Beyond forum...

your doc might be on to something when she said to massage the area. Scar tissue can be really painful, and massage can loosen it up and make it softer so it can heal better. But, honestly, it seems eight months is plenty of time to heal. Maybe you didn't heal properly. Or maybe the repair wasn't done right. Or maybe there's some pelvic floor damage that needs to be taken care of. I'm sure someone around here has some answers or at least helpful suggestions for you.

It sounds just terrible!!
Your doc should take your pain seriously, though. I suggest you find a different doctor.

 

[awnja]

I tore a little then got a quick episiotomy(sp?). Not as much damage as you but I remember the pain. For me healing was worse than giving birth (enjoyed that part). It seemed like forever, but our babes are the same age and I'm pretty much healed. I strongly second the kegals! Lots of times a day. I was getting nowhere til I got serious about that. And I'd also look for another doc. Ya'd think they'd at least try to help you feel better!

julie

 

[ramlita]

That sounds awful! I second the suggestion to find a doctor more interested in helping you!

In the meantime, have you been doing sitz baths? I wonder if soaking in some strong (cooled) Comfrey tea would help? Sadly, it seems that we need to do frequent soaks to see improvement, but hey! A cheap, easy remedy worth a try.

Some folks drink comfrey tea to help with healing from the inside out ( I do! ) but some are concerned about one chemical component of the plant... (based on studies where that one component is isolated, concentrated, and given in huge amounts... but I digress)

Any herbalists/naturopaths in your area? Once you've figured out what's going on, someone like that can help you heal those tissues.

Good luck.

 

[Sushine25]

I had a home birth, but I too had a VERY traumatic birth. I tore extremely bad, and Kenya even took a chunk of my labia with her on the way out. I had an episiotomy as well, because I pushed for 2 hours and my perineum was turning black. I got 100 stitches from the deal, and the repairing took 2 hours. WITH NO FREEZING!!! Owww! Basically my tissues were demolished from the inside out. Then at 2 weeks pp, 5 major stitches fell out. I had to be restitched with no freezing again. I tell ya, that was the most painful thing I have ever felt!!! I was not able to sit for 7 weeks. I was flat on my back in bed for 7 weeks. It was so depressing! At about 9 weeks I was able to walk and sit, but it hurt so bad. I was in alot of pain with anything I did, up until about 2.5 months. By about 4 months I felt 80% better, and by 6 months about 90% better. However, my dh and I were not able to dtd until I was 8 months pp. It hurt so bad before that. It still hurt at 8 mo pp, but not too bad. Now I am 9 mo pp, and we are able to dtd, with minimal discomfort at first, but then it is good. I am abot 98% healed I would think now.

I am sorry that was so gross and TMI, but I just wanted to give you an idea of the severity of my birth and healing period, compared to how long it took me to heal. I also am a slow healer. So, seeing you are 8 mo pp, and still feeling aweful, I would get a second doc's opinion. Have you been checked for any infections? If you had an infection, your healing abilities would not be good. I had a uterine infection at 3 mo pp, that we discovered. I also had some scar tissue inside my vagina, that I had to rub estrogen cream into every day for a few weeks. It took it away. If I were you I would go see another doc, and have him look at you "down there". That is what I did, and we discovered things I wouldn't have known. It could also be that you have nerve damage. You may want to discuss that with a doc. Oh ya, also, I massaged calendula cream into my scar tissue everyday for a few months. It helped tremendously after a few months. You may want to try it!

I am so sorry if I grossed you out. I just want you to know I know exactly how you feel. I was so upset about it, and felt like I would be that way forever! It got me so down as well to not have that bond between hubby and I. Please if you want to talk to me, or ask ?'s, or just need support, PM me. I would be happy to talk with you. It sure helped me to hear of others who were going thru the same thing.

 

[Sushine25]

BTW, I am from B.C.

HELLO! lol

 

[Electra375]

Similar pain issue, but I didn't tear externally only internally and supposedly 2nd degree, although in reflecting on the situation I do believe it was as close to 3rd as you can get without it being a 3rd.

I have pain when sitting on a toilet still and my dd is 10 mo old in a few days. Last night I felt my perinum while sitting on the camode and it was buldging somewhat like when it was swollen after the birth!

I'm not as sore as I was when I posted about this myself and I can definitely feel tough tissue under the perinum skin runny horizontally. I have yet to see a muscular overlay of the area to determine if the muscle is damaged or if the tear has created scar issue in that area.

5 mo PP and still sore, need advice (warning very descriptive)
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=186070

Someone offered the advice of going to a doctor and that just is not happening. There are no doctors that I would see for this, I don't feel they are competent enough to give me an answer worth my time in going and being felt up. But I'm a bit anti-doctor since being terminated from a practice at 28wks pregnant.

I do find some relief is I message with calendula oil. It is super nice if my dh messages me with the calendula oil and if it's weird for you to touch yourself there it is the perfect solution. I also find that for a few days after an orgasm I feel better, and I equate this to blood flowing to the area to heal it. I was taking arnica for a while, but have stopped -- ds2 ate the whole bottle one day and I freaked.

As a mother of 3 I don't have time for sitzbaths, but when I do it helps some. Again I think it is a blood flowing to the area to heal it thing with the heat of the sitzbath as well as the herbs I use in it.

Unfortunately, I don't think there is a quick fix. I am hoping that it will continue to deminish. It certainly is good birth control though, I was thinking about getting pregnant again and then I sat down to have a bm and that thought went out the window.

I just can't imagine going into labor as sore as I am now.

And for what it's worth, I don't think your experience has anything to do with you not knowing what to do. It sounds like the doctor didn't know what he was doing. And if you were on your back, it is no wonder dc seemed stuck, jm2cents. I won't go too much into the c/s issue except to say, I'm glad I had a vaginal birth even with the bruising, tearing, bed rest, and soreness that lingers. I'm emotionally better off and my dd is physically better off.

I'm hoping someone post something that will make a lightbulb click for and me.

 

[Electra375]

bumping thread -- I need answers as much as the OP does.
Someone help, or direct to information on the topic.