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My 9 y.o. dd really really wants to WIN. We have affirmed this desire for her to do so, but she continues to cheat in order to win -- games, races, etc. I am not sure how to handle this. Any ideas?
 

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I don't know if this will help with an older child, but when my 3-year-old DD stops following the rules, I stop playing. I tell her the absolute truth: that I do not like playing with someone who does not follow the rules.
 

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I'd stop playing the instant it became apparent that she's cheating to win. If she's cheating with other kids, I'd pull her out of the game and let the other kids continue.

I think this is a pretty common stage, but she's old enough to realize that people get mad when you cheat and it's not fun for them.

You might also want to look into some cooperative games -- family pastimes has some good ones.
 

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Agree with the pp. Also, Im sure you've done this but emphasize to her that if she cheated to win then she didn't win at all. So if she gets excited about a win that you know she cheated on, deflate her sails a bit by refusing to acknowledge any "win" and point out why she actually did indeed lose.
 

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Or you could try purposefully (and obviously) losing and see if she enjoys winning when no one else is trying to win. I'd just be curious about how she'd react to that.
 
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