Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 30 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
843 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is what my pediatrician told me today, I don't believe it though. She said that my son shouldn't be waking to eat at night anymore. He's waking because he needs me so I need to start laying him down while he's awake so that he learns to fall asleep alone. I then said that can't be so because he sleeps next to me all night. She then said that he should be transitioned to his own bed because otherwise he's at the best age to transition otherwise I'll have a really hard time when he gets older.<br><br>
I do put him down still partially awake, but I pat his back because otherwise he starts to fight sleep. I told her that and she said that it's still creating dependence.<br><br>
Anyways, I found that annoying. If my son needs me, regardless of where he sleeps, I will respond. He's 4 months, not 4 years old. And for the record, he is waking because he's hungry, he will keep fussing and that will turn into crying until he's fed. Also, once he's sufficiently calmed down enough to fall the rest of the way to sleep, I will leave. So he does fall asleep partially on his own.<br><br>
Yeah, anyways...It's hard to find a really good pedi.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,288 Posts
Some babies do well falling asleep on their own, but others pretty much need to be cuddled or fed to sleep. Either way if they get hungry they're gonna need you. How ridiculous to set up age limits for when they shouldn't wake, especially so young, for every baby. Besides I think breastmilk gets digested in about 3 hours, doesn't it? So after that long they'll get generally get hungry, right?
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,549 Posts
Ack. Your ped should come over to my house and tell my DD that! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
Peds are for medical advice; parents are for parenting advice.<br>
You wouldn't go to your lawyer for a facial and pedicure, you know? {Unless, of course, you have a REALLY good lawyer! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">}<br><br>
But silliness aside, use the peds for what they're worth, disregard anything that goes against your mama-instinct. Your LO depends on you for that reason.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,262 Posts
That is such BS! Last time I checked, pediatricians were doctors, not parenting experts.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
91 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"> i know exactly what you mean, my parents gave me the EXACT lecture around this mornings breakfast table. I tryed to explain that i have a different parenting style but they responded with "no of course we dont know anything about parenting"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,535 Posts
That's silly. Have you looked up anything by the ped Jay Gordon? We advocates not to even consider night weaning until a certain age. I think it was a year or year and half.<br><br>
My 18 month DD still can't go the entire night (she sleeps about 12 hours at night) without waking and eating at least once or twice.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,450 Posts
When my daughter was born (almost 18 years ago) it was considered "typical" for infants to sleep through the night by six weeks. And, most babies I knew DID sleep through the night by that age. But, not ALL babies did. Some just like to sleep. Some figure that if they are awake, YOU might as well be up too. After all what fun is it to lie awake all alone?<br><br>
SOme babies eat more, and more often. Some babies don't.<br><br>
I honestly don't know anybody in real life who has a baby that sleeps in bed with mom and dad. So, I think maybe your doctor thinks you don't have this figured out yet, and she's just giving out the normal advice. I heard all sorts of weird advice from doctors when I was pregnant. But, my pediatritions were all very good about letting me make my own choices and they never said what they thought. They just said "is that working for you?" or "Moms always know best".<br><br>
I have doctor friends. They HATE, HATE, HATE to give parenting advice. They give great medical advice. One friend told me that "My wife and I co-sleep, my son wakes up every four or five hours, and we get up with him.... but, parents want me to tell them how to get the baby to sleep all night in the other room... So, I tell them what I was told".<br><br>
Only listen to what you want, ignore the rest. As long as your doctor is taking good medical care of your baby, don't worry about anything else.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
227 Posts
at our last appointment our ped asked how is he sleeping? (He's 7 mo)<br>
I said he's up 3-4 times a night to nurse, with his longest stretch sleeping for 3-5 hours. She laughed and said, that's normal.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
155 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Blueone</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14752723"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Anyways, I found that annoying. If my son needs me, regardless of where he sleeps, I will respond. He's 4 months, not 4 years old.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
EXACTLY. ugh, that really gets to me. Good for you for sticking up for what your doing for your DS! A baby needs his mama, not to be taught independence! Especially at four months...?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"> Sometimes I wonder how they get these parenting ideas. You'd think with all their knowledge, they would understand that is a <i>new</i> parenting philosophy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,542 Posts
I just started nightweaning around 2. I would never consider it before a year with a breastfed infant. They are notorious for getting interested in their surroundings during the day and doing catch-up feedings at night.<br><br>
I think my SIL's experience is super typical of what could happen with early nightweaning. She nightweaned all 4 of her girls and CIO at 3 months. By 6 months she had AF back and by 9 was pg and formula feeding with the first 3.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
843 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
We actually don't breastfeed, I wasn't able to due to a medical condition. I gave it a shot but he wasn't producing wet diapers, etc. Maybe she thinks that since he's formula fed he should be sleeping through the night? I don't know. Even if I were breastfeeding I wouldn't dream of night weaning for a long time. Regardless, it's strange. Once I said "I don things differently and it works for me" she backed off. Who knows. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
Thanks for all the responses! I just needed to get that off my chest.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
344 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SeekingJoy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14754121"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I just started nightweaning around 2. I would never consider it before a year with a breastfed infant. They are notorious for getting interested in their surroundings during the day and doing catch-up feedings at night.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Before 2, Did you wake your baby to feed if they would have gone all night not eating?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,542 Posts
I didn't/don't wake her once I turn in, although occasionally, I would wake her to nurse just before I went to sleep. She has gone through periods of great sleep (8-10 hr stretches) and not-so-great sleep (waking every hour). I guess I just figure she will wake when she needs to nurse for either comfort or nutrition, and that is fine with me. (For the most part. Don't ask before my first cup of coffee. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
661 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Blueone</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14754323"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We actually don't breastfeed, I wasn't able to due to a medical condition. I gave it a shot but he wasn't producing wet diapers, etc. Maybe she thinks that since he's formula fed he should be sleeping through the night? I don't know. Even if I were breastfeeding I wouldn't dream of night weaning for a long time. Regardless, it's strange. Once I said "I don things differently and it works for me" she backed off. Who knows. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
Thanks for all the responses! I just needed to get that off my chest.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I formula feed too with some breast feeding too but its mainly comfort feeding... I just wasn't making enough and I tried SO hard... It took me forever to come to terms with it and I'm okay with it now. Anyways... back on topic, my pedi told me it was completely normal to still be waking up multiple times a night to eat. In fact, I got a huge lecture about feeding on demand for the first year of her life and how he recommends co-sleeping (but not co-bedding, apparently there is a difference <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">) LOL DD sleeps in bed with me, so... whatever on that note.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,801 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Blueone</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14752723"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">This is what my pediatrician told me today, I don't believe it though. She said that my son shouldn't be waking to eat at night anymore. He's waking because he needs me so I need to start laying him down while he's awake so that he learns to fall asleep alone. I then said that can't be so because he sleeps next to me all night. She then said that he should be transitioned to his own bed because otherwise he's at the best age to transition otherwise I'll have a really hard time when he gets older.<br><br>
I do put him down still partially awake, but I pat his back because otherwise he starts to fight sleep. I told her that and she said that it's still creating dependence.<br><br>
Anyways, I found that annoying. If my son needs me, regardless of where he sleeps, I will respond. He's 4 months, not 4 years old. And for the record, he is waking because he's hungry, he will keep fussing and that will turn into crying until he's fed. Also, once he's sufficiently calmed down enough to fall the rest of the way to sleep, I will leave. So he does fall asleep partially on his own.<br><br>
Yeah, anyways...It's hard to find a really good pedi.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br><br>
Pffffffffffffffft.<br><br><br><br>
That's pretty much my answer on all of this crap. Your baby is DEFINITELY still young enough to wake up hungry at night. And comforting your FOUR-MONTH-OLD (like you said, it's not a four-year-old) is not going to create dependence, that's the craziest and most inaccurate thing I've ever heard. Responding to their needs and building trust will make them more secure and independent.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,433 Posts
oldest son slept through the night from about 6 months and shared my bed until he was 3.<br><br>
My second son slept through the night from about 8 months and slept in his own room in a crib from about 4 months (he hated cosleeping).<br><br>
My daughter is 10 months old now, sleeps in a crib right beside our bed (was sidecarred but is enclosed since she fell off the bed a couple months ago) and wakes 2-3 times a night to nurse.<br><br>
My point? Every baby is different and only they can tell you what they need. I just smile and nod when my doctor offers parenting advice.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
185 Posts
time for a new ped, so you don't feel as if you have to prepare a defense every time you visit.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,801 Posts
I'm lucky in that my ped offers zero parenting advice, just medical advice.<br><br>
If I wanted parenting advice from anyone, I'll ask.
 
1 - 20 of 30 Posts
Top