: That is one toxic doctor!
Welcome to our board! It is wonderful to meet you. I'm not a nurse, nor do I have personal experience exactly like yours, but my younger son had a very high risk crisis birth and early infancy because he was born with a diaphragmatic hernia, and while he's doing very well, we do have some ongoing issues, including neurological ones.
Neuroplasticity, this new idea doctors have cottoned on to that seems kind of obvious to me, that is that the brain is a dynamic organ that changes and grows and adapts, is a wonderful thing. On my down days I remind myself that for any person, if there's a time to have some kind of shock or insult to the brain, that time is very early in life when the ability to recover and adapt is nothing short of amazing. Your daughter is going to surprise us all.
It is hard not to compare our kids at the best of times. There are some moms in my diaphragmatic hernia support group who are also dealing with one typical twin, one affected twin, so I have some inkling of what that means.
If you'd like a group of moms to hang out with many of whom are dealing with ongoing therapy, feeding stuff, tubes and meds, then come check out the babycenter babies with birth defects board. It's my internet home: a very accepting, gutsy group of women with a wide range of parenting and political ideas but a lot in common. (In other words, it presents different advantages from this wonderful forum.)
Again, welcome! Fiona