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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Supervised visitation ends this month, and I have been trying to wrap my brain around how I am going to deal with the situation. Well, today was the last day for supervision, and I called up X this morning. His voice mail picked up and I said, "Hey X. If you want, bring your car seat along. I thought maybe you and ds could have fun at the park and then you can take him to get something to eat...."

I was ten minutes early to the meeting place, and X pulled in right behind me. "You get my message?" I asked. He said yes and then started thanking me over and over, that he appreciated the gesture. I handed X the backpack I had packed for Ds, with a couple diapers, wipes, a clean outfit, and two of ds's favorite toy cars. He said, "You want to stick around for a couple of minutes to make sure ds doesn't cry?" I got a soccer ball out of my trunk and kicked it around for a few minutes with ds, and then headed back to my car. We argreed to meet at Chuckie Cheese's in a couple of hours, and X said he'd call me if he needed anything. Ds was playing happily with X when I pulled out of the lot.

I drove away.

And I'm ok.

That's HUGE for me. Just huge. I think ending supervision on my terms helped me. Not that I am a control freak, but having having a say in it, being able to let go on my own, helped tremendously.

So I went and got a haircut. I feel a little lost, but not bad. I mean, here it is Saturday and I have no responsibilities... I don't have to watch my neice, Ds is off with X, and my house is clean.

I'm not used to this much freedom!


I just am so happy that I am not filled with anxiety, and that DS seems happy and content. That's all that matters...
 

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Transitioning from supervised to non-supervised visits is huge.
for you and wishing you and your little one the best!

I went through the transition a year ago with my ex. It's been ... challenging.
 

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Good for you mama, your post gave me goose bumps. That was a great gesture on your part and I know what you mean about feeling better when something is on your own terms rather than the court's terms. I hope you enjoyed your time off and I hope your ex and DS had fun together!
 

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yay for you and yay for ex and yay for son!! It sounds like you guys really pulled it together and handeled it well all around. you can all be proud of what a positive thing you have made this. I wish my mom and dad could have worked together like that.
good for you.
 

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Wow, you did really well! I am so glad that your ex said, "You want to stick around for a couple of minutes to make sure ds doesn't cry?" because at least it showed some empathy for your son, and it acknowledged that you're the source of stability in your son's life - so that's good and I hope he continues to honor that! That alone is hugely comforting when letting go a bit. So good for you. Just take everything one step at a time.
 

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Way to go.
It does get easier to fill up the time when they are gone.
It's an adjustment, like everything else and once you get used to it, it's certainly much easier.
 

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That's awsome! And X is showing some empathy for DS, what a step in the right direction! That you have some of the power in the situation must really help. Yay!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thanks for sharing that success with me! I am beyond thrilled that X and I managed to cooperate... that is really saying a lot. And while I am not quite willing to call him a "good man" just yet
I do sincerely appreciate the effort he is making. It is amazing how far we move forward when both parties are making an effort.

Let's hope it continues!
:
 
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