Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 32 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,573 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I am looking for a new one.<br><br>
The two that I have been looking at are both mega churches. They are huge. I would feel so awkward going by myself, I am sure!<br><br>
My main issue is that they both mention speaking in tongues. Can someone tell me more about this? Because that is not something that happened in my past Methodist churches. I have only really ever been to three churches, though, in my life.<br><br>
And second, would it be totally abnormal for me to e-mail them first to see if they think I would fit in? I think it will be hard going by myself. One has a group for crocheting and also has a group for people who are divorced, both would be good for me, I think.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,064 Posts
Isn't speaking in tongues (aka glossolalia) a hallmark of Pentecostalism or the Charismatic movement?<br><br>
Is there any reason why you couldn't check out a smaller church?<br><br>
ETA: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossolalia" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossolalia</a><br><br>
You might also want to check out I Corinthians chapters 12-14 on this topic (speaking in tongues).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,896 Posts
Speaking in tounges : in evangelical charasmatic churches and pentecostal churches speaking in tounges means babbling in a language that others may or may not understand. Sometimes it is believed the Holy Spirit gives someone else a translation. There is no real Biblical argument for it (traditional churches interpret the verses on Pentcost differently) and is a matter of chuyrch tradition mostly (regardless of which scriptures they use to justify it.) In pentecostal churches tounges is very important. Lack of the ability signifies a lack of Holy Spirit in your life. In evangelical charasmatic non-denominational type churches it can range from beliefs similar to pentecostals to just a side item, a gift of the Holy Spirit that some people have and others don't.<br><br>
Email: Definitely email first!!! You may even want to get together with the pastor for a sit down chat. I don't care how big the church is the pastor should be able to make time to answer your questions. if he isn't who is? are you ok with having a pastor who is not, will not be, directly involved in your life? Are you ok with the person who is? It is a good way to feel out how leadership structure and minstry works. Do not be scared to ask a million questions about doctrine and beliefs. Ask for doctrinal statements etc.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,903 Posts
I am 'bolder' than you are and I would think nothing of attending a service. Sorta going in and trying it on for size. I've done this in the past. You will probably see a familiar face or two, and if not hang around after and strike up a conversation. While the pastor may be a great person if you are not comfortable with the folks who attend services etc is the church really a good fit?<br><br>
But to answer your question, yes go and email or give them a call.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,446 Posts
Well, I found the speaking in tongues thing a little freaky when I first ran into it.<br><br>
Never got that "gift" but found myself OK going to churches where others do. The only ones I'd avoid are those that say you aren't really saved if you don't speak in tongues, or get pushy about it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I think it would be very helpful to email first and get some details on their beliefs and world view.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
870 Posts
In the book of Acts it talks about the disciples receiving the Holy Spirit, and then preaching the gospel in various languages. Personally, I have never been comfortable speaking in tongues, and don't have much interest in doing it.<br>
There is one pastor at my church who speaks in tongues... and while I don't really read into it, or try to interpret his actions (which is very unlike me) I don't get any weird feelings from it. It doesn't interrupt my connection with the Holy Spirit.<br>
I also have a good friend, and kinda like, "the one who saw me through". ei praying for me during the worse times of my life, and teaching me some of the more in depth things about God. She has been speaking in tongues since she was about 12. The way she describes it, it is dialogue with God that cannot be interpreted or disrupted by Satan. It is purely conversation for the speaker, and God.<br><br>
btw, bflks, my kids were sick today, but i will try to respond tomorrow morning
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
843 Posts
Well, personally I have never been able to find a niche for myself at a huge church. Big, yes, but not a megachurch. I always seem to get lost in the crowd. That is just me though..I know lots of people go to megachurches and love them..but I like to be able to have a group of friends that I can actually get to know. So for me, if a church has "small groups" of some kind, that is a major selling point!<br><br>
Tongues..not something I personally believe in. I have visited churches where this was going on and it made me very uncomfortable. When i have studied scripture regarding tongues I have a different interpretation than those who feel it is a gift.<br><br>
I agree that you should talk to the pastor and maybe even some members there. It's ok to look around and take your time. Good luck church hunting!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,127 Posts
If you feel awkward going to the church then I would say that maynot be the place for you.<br><br>
But e-mail them and talk to them. YOu will mostly likly have a pastor that is for your area, not the main pastor. And you may feel alittle "lost" in the crowd in the sevice.<br><br>
I do beleive in speaking in toungs. It is something that God will give you. BUT I do thing that there are people that "misuse" it.<br><br>
Just be careful.....make sure that Jesus is being preached!!!!! That goes for any church not only mega.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,569 Posts
I'm not a big fan of mega-churches, I find they can be inhuman in scale, and also many place a lot of emphasis on doing whatever is necessary to bring in more people, and neglect other important aspects of community faith.<br><br>
Speaking in tongues - I am also a bit suspicious of this in the way that it happens in most churches. Paul suggests that it is a gift that should only be used in church if there is someone there to interpret it. I think there is a lot of sense to that. When someone is speaking in tongues, and no one can understand, it is putting too much focus on an individual. It is essentially something private between that person and God. As well, it is possible for such things to come from a place other than from God (from a kind of physical or emotional venting, or even from a demonic source), but with no interpreter, how is one to judge?<br><br><br>
You could email. Personally, I would go to a service and have a look quietly, maybe even slip out before the end. My worry would be that I would be targeted as a possible "recruit" by a congregation that I turned out not to be interested in.<br><br>
THe small group thing isn't totally insignificant, but I would be very careful not to place too much emphasis on it. THe centre has to be the worship of God, and some churches make themselves social clubs instead.<br><br>
What makes you interested in these churches in particular?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,573 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
There are not a lot of churches in my area in my denomination. I hesitate to drive to another town to attend one. I could, but I drive so much already and gas is so expensive.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,251 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15376571"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">There are not a lot of churches in my area in my denomination. I hesitate to drive to another town to attend one. I could, but I drive so much already and gas is so expensive.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I would respectfully suggest that you try not to let denomination be your deciding factor. I would look for a group of people who love the Lord and are Bible based. I would steer away from groups who seem to focus more on the social aspect and less on how to grow in the Lord and how to get closer to the Lord.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,569 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15376571"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">There are not a lot of churches in my area in my denomination. I hesitate to drive to another town to attend one. I could, but I drive so much already and gas is so expensive.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Am I right in thinking you are a Methodist?<br><br>
If you are not a Calvinist, you might check out the Lutheran Church, or an Anglican Church - there are various sorts at the moment in the US. You might find some Congregationalist parishes a good fit.<br><br>
If you are a Calvinist, you might try the Presbyterians.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,185 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I would respectfully suggest that you try not to let denomination be your deciding factor. I would look for a group of people who love the Lord and are Bible based. I would steer away from groups who seem to focus more on the social aspect and less on how to grow in the Lord and how to get closer to the Lord.</td>
</tr></table></div>
Bunnyflakes, I would second this comment. Ive been to so many different denominational churches Ive lost count now. I change churches a lot bc Ive moved a lot and I just go to the church that the Lord leads me to. You can trust the leading of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes we do have to step out of our comfort zone tho. For example. This last church I started attending was bc we walked past it (its very local but I wasnt ready to go back to church), after praying for a few weeks about whether I should go back to church or not and my son said 'I wanna try that church', he hated going to church where we went last time so for him to say that was something that kinda made me wanna check it out (I felt it was Holy Spirit led). Other times in my life I wanted to go to a church (having just moved) and I tried several different ones before I realised it just wasnt a good time for me to attend a church. Turns out we moved again within the year. But saying that, the Lord brought some amazing wonderful godly women into my life for that short period. It was quite special letting the Lord lead me to those people at a time when my life was pure chaos (I had just left a women's refuge, life was so uncertain).<br><br>
I am not the kind of person who feels the need to stay within one denomination. I have learned SO much by attending the various churches and I cherish every experience. Bluegoat, I can appreciate the anglican church SO much bc I spent five years of my life worshipping in one (it was a low church mind you<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">). Anyway, take that with a pinch of salt, Im sure you'll find where you need to be...
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,102 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15371748"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The two that I have been looking at are both mega churches. They are huge. I would feel so awkward going by myself, I am sure!</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Though to reframe that, being large could help if for your very first visit you only wanted to kind of slip in & just observe to get a feel for their services before delving further. Just another way to look at it. (but then I'm all about looking at things in many different ways <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">)<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">And second, would it be totally abnormal for me to e-mail them first to see if they think I would fit in? I think it will be hard going by myself. One has a group for crocheting and also has a group for people who are divorced, both would be good for me, I think.</td>
</tr></table></div>
Definitely email!! It's why they have the contact info there - so you can ask questions. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I can definitely understand wanting to find a community within a community to find the social support that works best for us. For myself ~ in any setting, I can do OK in a large group, but I need to have smaller groups I can break off and connect with to feel truly grounded.<br><br>
What is your greatest need from a new spiritual home right now? I know it sounds a little trite, but have you started a 'must have' list?<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15376571"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">There are not a lot of churches in my area in my denomination. I hesitate to drive to another town to attend one. I could, but I drive so much already and gas is so expensive.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I would make the trip just to try them out. You could find the perfect one. At the very least, you could find qualities to add to your list of likes/dislikes and wants/needs in a spiritual community. It could be really helpful. Or try emailing them first to put out some feelers.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bluegoat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15377436"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Am I right in thinking you are a Methodist?<br><br>
If you are not a Calvinist, you might check out the Lutheran Church, or an Anglican Church - there are various sorts at the moment in the US. You might find some Congregationalist parishes a good fit.<br><br>
If you are a Calvinist, you might try the Presbyterians.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Quoted to say <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
843 Posts
Well, I don't want to answer for the OP here, but I have never been to a Methodist church that speaks in tongues. Just sayin.<br><br>
Please feel free to correct me, Bunnyflakes, if you are..<br><br>
Also it seems some folks might have misinterpreted me saying small groups were important to me as saying they are the MOST important. Definitely not! I agree with all those who said a church whose focus is growing in the Lord is the most important. I was simply saying that *for me* I desire close friendships with other believers who will hold me accountable, lift me up, etc..and I have had great success with small groups for that. I was just hoping to give her something to think about to look for.<br><br>
On the other hand if you had a smaller church that was a wonderful group of Christians that might be great too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,573 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lilmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15380779"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, I don't want to answer for the OP here, but I have never been to a Methodist church that speaks in tongues. Just sayin.<br><br>
Please feel free to correct me, Bunnyflakes, if you are..<br><br>
Also it seems some folks might have misinterpreted me saying small groups were important to me as saying they are the MOST important. Definitely not! I agree with all those who said a church whose focus is growing in the Lord is the most important. I was simply saying that *for me* I desire close friendships with other believers who will hold me accountable, lift me up, etc..and I have had great success with small groups for that. I was just hoping to give her something to think about to look for.<br><br>
On the other hand if you had a smaller church that was a wonderful group of Christians that might be great too.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I have never seen anyone speak in tongues at the Methodist churches I have been to. I have gone to three churches long term in my life, and they were all Methodist. I did attend a church a few times with a friend years ago where they did it, but it seemed to be almost on cue. I didn't really know if I thought he was really being moved by God or if he was just doing it right then because he had just said "Here, we sometimes speak in tongues" then he started to. And I went back two more times and he did it at the exact same time in the intro those times, too. I do not remember what denomination that church was. It was in a shopping mall and it sort of went away not to long afterwards. So that was my only experience with speaking in tongues. So I am very confused by it!<br><br>
The reason I was drawn to the mega church was the small groups that offered one for crochet and one for divorced persons. Both sounded good for me.<br><br>
I might e-mail them this weekend.<br><br>
I think this is hard for me because I invested so much of my life and talent in to my church. And I would love to be able to just go back and pretend that they didn't drop me like a hot potato during the only time in 8ish years that I needed them- but I can't! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I feel so disrespected by that and the Pastor never even bothered to respond to my letter. I did not expect him to. I don't know, maybe if they had only ignored me and my Mom didn't hear them gossiping about me. So many things had to line up just so to make me feel this way. I can't get over it. I truly did try. I went back with the one person who did reach out to me, and I thank her for it. But it was not the same. Too many whispers behind my back <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> I can not stand that!<br><br>
Maybe I wont find a place where I do fit in. Single person, no longer colleged aged, no kids. I might just officially be out of place anywhere that I go!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,127 Posts
Please just remember that Jesus Loves you just the way that you are. He is the only one that matters.<br><br>
I am looking for a church too. I know how hard it is. What I'm looking for is just a place to learn and grow in Jesus. But in today's world that can be so hard.<br><br>
Jesus loves you Bunnyflakes He really does.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,896 Posts
My friend went to a charasmatic methodist church. I was really shocked when she said she was going to a methodist church (because of our background as Charasmatics) but she said it was just like our church. Go figure. I have never seen one in real life though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,122 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15384111"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have never seen anyone speak in tongues at the Methodist churches I have been to. I have gone to three churches long term in my life, and they were all Methodist. I did attend a church a few times with a friend years ago where they did it, but it seemed to be almost on cue. I didn't really know if I thought he was really being moved by God or if he was just doing it right then because he had just said "Here, we sometimes speak in tongues" then he started to. And I went back two more times and he did it at the exact same time in the intro those times, too. I do not remember what denomination that church was. It was in a shopping mall and it sort of went away not to long afterwards. So that was my only experience with speaking in tongues. So I am very confused by it!<br><br>
The reason I was drawn to the mega church was the small groups that offered one for crochet and one for divorced persons. Both sounded good for me.<br><br>
I might e-mail them this weekend.<br><br>
I think this is hard for me because I invested so much of my life and talent in to my church. And I would love to be able to just go back and pretend that they didn't drop me like a hot potato during the only time in 8ish years that I needed them- but I can't! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I feel so disrespected by that and the Pastor never even bothered to respond to my letter. I did not expect him to. I don't know, maybe if they had only ignored me and my Mom didn't hear them gossiping about me. So many things had to line up just so to make me feel this way. I can't get over it. I truly did try. I went back with the one person who did reach out to me, and I thank her for it. But it was not the same. Too many whispers behind my back <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> I can not stand that!<br><br>
Maybe I wont find a place where I do fit in. Single person, no longer colleged aged, no kids. I might just officially be out of place anywhere that I go!</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I am certain you will find the church for you! Please don't give up. Have you considered posting in finding your tribe?<br><br>
I think you would love my church which is an Anglican church with a very strong artists community.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
767 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15384111"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The reason I was drawn to the mega church was the small groups that offered one for crochet and one for divorced persons. Both sounded good for me.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
You can attend the small groups at the megachurch and attend Sunday worship at a church that fits you better. It's not all or nothing! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
1 - 20 of 32 Posts
Top