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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Lex I saw your post in fertility but decided to bring this question over here.<br><br>
You were mentioning ttc again. I was wondering if Lena is not interested in having children (as in being pregnant and physically having them) or if she is just wanting to wait a while.<br><br>
I don't have a lot of lesbigay friends and those that are tend to be single. The one momma couple though they each had kids.<br><br>
So I'm wondering if that is something you (universal you there, not just to Lex) are planning. Both mommas having kids or just one.<br><br>
Sorry if that's too personal, I'm just nosey! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Hi amarasmom!<br><br>
Happy to tell our tale.<br><br>
DP and I hoped for two (the most we thought we could handle). I ttc for two years and conceived twins. One twin was "lost" at 13 weeks. Her singleton sister (now Pumpkin) was breech and the birth was quite physically traumatic (ended in csec and I almost died from hypotension, bled too much, had horrible post-infection, blah blah blah.) DP would hear nothing of trying on me again (post-40 with that birth history), so my jersey's hanging in the gym.<br><br>
DP has PCOS and we didn't think she could conceive. So, if all that hadn't happened to me, we'd never have given her uterus a spin.<br><br>
She completely beat the odds and conceived on our 3rd IUI. Peanut was born in the kitchen in a birth tub. Pumpkin sang her itsy bitsy spider while DP was birthing the placenta.<br><br>
So planned on me having both, thought we'd gotten both in one fell swoop, ended up having one each. Amazing how things just turn out perfect even when they don't turn out how you plan them.<br><br>
Kids: bliss and chaos bliss and chaos bliss and chaos.....
 

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sorry I'm naking<br><br>
I often wonder how other families make this decision too. I am the bio mom to both my children, and any future children too. It was a non-decision decision. if ykwim? I couldn't imagine dp nursing our kids! That is my job! We do know other two mom families who have two kids, and each mom carries one. For us that would never have worked. ANd to have us each go through labor and delivery for the first time. UGh... my second birth was a piece of cake, the first was hard, hard, hard.<br><br>
You said. ... "I was wondering if Lena is not interested in having children or if she is just wanting to wait a while." Doesn't she already have 2 children, but she just wasn't the birth parent?<br><br>
Anyway, just my 2 cents. gotta run before chaos begins........
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I meant in the literal sense as in having the children come from her body. I guess I should clarify my OP.
 

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I guess it's been awhile since I've checked out this forum!<br><br>
Lena and I originally planned to each birth one baby and then adopt if we still felt we wanted more. But then I messed everything up by having two at once. And Lena watched me go through it and decided maybe she didn't want to go through it herself. Honestly, she is the kind of woman who it's hard to imagine her getting pregnant and nursing a baby. . . but I'd still love for her to do it! And maybe she will decide to some day. Right now, she feels completely satisifed with the two children we have, so it's mostly me pushing for a third. And then she says that if we are going to have a third, we should adopt. And I completely agree with her reasoning. . . there are already so many babies born who need mamas, what sense does it make for us to bring another baby into the world, especially since it's not like we're making a baby as we make love. . . it is a bit complicated (not the actual procedure, but it does feel less organic). At the same time I feel such a strong NEED to have another pregnancy and a chance to give birth the way I always wanted to (with Luke and Jaz, I had a c-section because they were both breech). I feel like I'll never heal from the trauma of my first experience if I don't have another. But then Lena points out that who's to say my next experience will be any better? But at the same time she does realize how important it is to me. And I just need a chance. . . Plus, we already have six vials of our donor's sperm paid for in storage.<br><br>
So, as you can see, nothing is really figured out yet. Nine months ago, Lena was READY for us to start making another baby. . . my body was not, and my heart wasn't really ready either. Now that my body and heart are ready, Lena's not so sure. So, as far as I'm concerned, I hope we can start ttc in the next few months, but it may be longer than that before Lena feels as sure as I do that adding a baby to the mix is a good idea.<br><br>
When she asked me what I wanted for solstice, I told her "A Baby!" But I don't think that's what she had in mind. . . <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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My partner's reply to suggestions that she get pregnant and/or nurse:<br><br>
huh uh, no way, hell no!<br><br>
Guess that makes our decision making process pretty darn easy here.<br><br>
I think it has something to do with her butchness, but I couldn't put it in words very well if you asked me to.<br><br>
jen.
 
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