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okay, I haven't been here in a while...because of past experiences with SS and his bio family we cut back on interaction, but we were TRYING to make some headway in our relationship but then this last episode happened....<br><br>
Reader be warned but I REALLY need to vent....<br><br>
So, SS was signed up for baseball by his mom after the deadline passed. We had been on her for over a month to get him signed up, we would have done it but because of the way ss's bm recorded everything at his doc's SS's doc won't give dh any of his papers regarding his last physical because the doc is a complete butthead and won't do it unless BM is there. Anyways, she calls dh 45 min before practice and tells him she got him signed up (IF she does something it is ALWAYS LAST MINUTE) and he now needs a glove, bat, bag etc. Well we bought him a new glove months ago Hoping she would actually sign him up. DH called me (he wasn't at home) and asked me to look for it in our shed and put it on the porch as BM will be stopping by, and also he wanted to use dd's brand new pink bat, and bag because he doesn't have one. I tell dh I will look for the glove and put it out but he cannot use dd's bat and bag because she hasn't even used them yet in practice, and besides she needs them tomorrow night for her practice and they NEVER return ANYTHING. Its like if something goes over there it is lost in a black hole or something.<br><br>
So I go out and look for the glove, and look, and look, and look, and look, and look (I thinjk you get the picture, I CANNOT FIND THE GLOVE!) I called dh back and told him I can't find the glove in the shed, in the playhouse, in his room, in the yard...NOT ANYWHERE. so, I am sorry, but he must have put in someplace good to hide it, and I can't find it. He is notorious for NOT putting anything away when told to (he is 8 btw) So please call her and let her know so she doesn't come over here and start a scene. SSSSSOOOOOOOO.......<br><br>
SS's maternal GRANDMOTHER comes to my house and gets out of her car and just starts to let herself into MY fenced in BACKYARD where my chickens are out freeranging (and lets them out of course<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake">). I was SHOCKED she would just walk in there!!!! I came outside and this is the synopsis of what occurred...<br><br>
me: excuse me, what are you doing in my fenced in backyard?<br><br>
her: getting ss's glove and your dd's bat and bag.<br><br>
me: umm, no your not. ss must have misplaced his glove because I just spent the last 30 min looking for it, and you are not taking my dd's stuff.<br><br>
her: well, I'm just going to look for myself and I will take whatever he needs.<br><br>
me: NO YOU ARE NOT. You are not going to go through MY shed, and MY things, and "take what he needs" Now please get out of my yard as you are tresspassing, and anything you take of mine or dd's will be considered stolen property.<br><br>
Her: I'm taking what I want and you can't stop me.<br><br>
(I'm sure you can see she is ignorantly STUPID)<br><br>
I then told her to get out of my yard now, or I was calling the police. At that she finally started going back to the gate, but then started making a scene and started telling me it was my fault her daughter's life was so miserable (her daughter was NOT even in the pic when I met dh, and she also has a total of 3 kids by 3 dif guys...I know that it does happen, and I don't mean any disrespect to any of you fine ladies out there, but this mother will find someone, and just get pregnant because I got pregnant, she's very competitive like that and she still has yet to let go of my dh even though we have been married for 5 years.) She also proceeded to tell (YELL) me how I HAD TO RAISE MY KIDS, and that I'm a loser mother, and a homewrecker, and that if I didn't do as she said she would come after me and kick my @$$. I was absolutely floored. I mean, I've heard it all before from BM, and grandmother, and the aunts, but I mean really after dh and I have been married 5 years I'VE STILL GOT TO DEAL WITH THIS?! and for her to tell me how to raise my kids?! For one, I take VERY good care of my kids thank you very much. I'm not the one who has had CPS called on me by numerous people, wasted my childsupport money on ciggarettes and then go crying to the fathers' for more $ cause my kids have to eat, or been in jail for drugs, or been in the drunk tank, or has my family watch my kids so I can go out to the bar EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and get wasted and get myself in those situations. I never was like that. I've been to a bar maybe 4 times since turning 21 (7 years) I"ve never even BEEN drunk so I can't even tell you what that is like! I've never smoked ANYTHING other than second hand smoke in restaurants!<br><br>
I thought everything was over as she finally got in her car and started pulling off screaming at me the entire time what a homewrecker I was...but then as I walked in my front door she comes squealing back down the road slammed on her brakes and made a dash for my backyard again!!!!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad">HONESTLY???!!!!!<br>
I had finally had enough and then really lost my cool so I ran out side and told her to get in her car and she was NEVER welcomed in my yard EVER AGAIN...AND AM DIALING 911 NOW!!! She finally left again but I was so upset from the whole ordeal. I had an anxiety attack, my blood pressure spiked, I could feel my heart beat in every part of my body, I started shaking and crying and then I had a massive migraine for the rest of the day and I had to go chase the stupid chickens down.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> I was so afraid she would come back again.<br><br>
So I ended up calling dh, and his reply was "its not a big deal. Just deal with them."<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"> ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS???!!!! This is the whole point of why I didn't ever want to be in the middle EVER AGAIN! It is not my job to deal with people like that when it makes me have such a physical response when I am already busy taking care of my 3 kids.<br><br>
Needless to say dh and I are NOT speaking right now. So I had a wonderful freaking mothers day yet again...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl"><br><br>
But it does make me feel a little better getting it "out there" so thanks if you took the time to read about my soap opera life.
 

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Wow! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> I would be pissed at DH too, you shouldn't be in the middle of THAT.
 

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I'm not a sp - but had to give you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> Because that's just . . . ridiculous. wth is wrong w/ her? Who trespasses onto someone's property, has the gall to attempt to steal something from a child and then comes back to grab and dash after already being told to leave once - yelling at you the whole time? Sounds like you're the only one who acted like an adult today. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I'm so sorry about all of that. How rotten!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>fierrbugg</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15389283"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm not a sp - but had to give you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> Because that's just . . . ridiculous. wth is wrong w/ her? Who trespasses onto someone's property, has the gall to attempt to steal something from a child and then comes back to grab and dash after already being told to leave once - yelling at you the whole time? Sounds like you're the only one who acted like an adult today. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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Yeah that
 

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dang......... that just reeks. Sounds like your stepchild is truly blessed to have at least one sane woman in his life. Hang in there!
 

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Yowsers...that is serious gramma drama... good grief. Next time call the police. Seriously. She sounds nuts.
 

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Seriously seems like there are soo many issues here that I have no clue what to talk about.<br><br>
Your dh needs to stand up, if these women will not be civil to you, then he HAS to do this himself. They are from his past, not yours, he should not be hefting it all over you.<br><br>
Sounds like the issue isn't just these people but how your dh is thrusting you in the middle of it.<br><br>
I would get a protective order, at least against grandma.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> Yikes.... just Wow. You need some serious boundaries and quick. I'm sure you can't ban your ss's mom from the house, but there's no reason for her family members to be there, ever. If I were you I would just call the police if they ever show up again.<br><br>
It seems to me that your ss could have gone to his first practice without the equipment. How is it your job to scramble like crazy for the stuff he needs when you couldn't be responsible for signing him up on time? I mean, everyone involved (including your dh!) sounds like the kind of people you need to be proactive about your boundaries with.
 

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I second the notion of locking the shed and gate.<br><br>
And really, you can't let this amount of crazy into your life. Encourage your husband to have visitation with his son on neutral ground. Commit to a monthly budget item for this. See to it that he pays his support. But I don't see how you can be a truly involved stepmom with this kind of dynamic and the close geographic range.<br><br>
If I were dealing with this kind of thing, I'd seriously think about relocating. Visitation in your home might be a lot more feasible if the crazy ex-family was a few hundred miles away and you only had your DDS' issues to contend with (and who can blame him for having issues?). The relationships with the NCP (your husband) and the siblings (your kids) might well be much better if there was some distance between your DSS' two families. And ultimately, that should be your goal - to give your DSS time and space to bond with his dad and his siblings.
 
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