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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My three-year-old was playing with himself the other day, a benefit of the diaper-free potty training we're attempting right now. I looked over after about two minutes and he was all, um, aroused, with his foreskin pulled back quite a bit. I could see the dark purple head of his penis. I suddenly yelled his name in shock and put some pants on him right away. I was really scared he was going to hurt himself, or had already. Although he was clearly enjoying things, I was freaked out. Doesn't it seem really young to be able to pull the skin back that far? I'd never seen him do that before, and I don't think a doc or anyone has ever retracted him. *shudder*
 

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Sounds normal to me and doesn't seem like any of it bothered him (well, the yelling his name might have freaked him out <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> )<br><br>
I wouldn't worry about it.
 

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Sounds totally normal to me, he's obviously separated quite a bit - it doesn't happen overnight but gradually and you haven't noticed. He won't hurt himself.<br><br>
I'm a bit alarmed at <i>your</i> reaction though. What kind of message is that going to send him if his mother freaks out at something totally normal and which feels good to him.
 

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I just noticed he is past 3 years old? That sounds VERY normal to me. My near 3 yo is not retractable, I don't think, but it is totally normal to be at that age or earlier. Every boy is different.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Daisyuk</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7966930"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm a bit alarmed at <i>your</i> reaction though. What kind of message is that going to send him if his mother freaks out at something totally normal and which feels good to him.</div>
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I know, I KNOW! It was an immediate reaction out of fear that he was hurting himself. I didn't scold or anything, just distracted him and put on his pants. I don't think he even realized what I hollered his name for. He was just kind of like, "What, mom?"<br><br>
I've always been very anti-circ and made sure everyone (grandparents, etc) that would be changing him knew not to retract, so I was very aware of the issues surrounding intact boys. But I am worried about being paranoid and letting him pick up on my fear. Whenever we see him yank himself very far, we lightly cringe (can't help it!) and say "don't hurt yourself" (all with a smile, but still...). We all have very healthy attitudes towards nudity and sexuality in our household, I am just paranoid he'll hurt himself.<br><br>
But if it's normal and not harmful for a three-year-old to completely retract himself, I'll just try and turn a blind eye.
 

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Ok, I can understand your reaction better now. Honestly, if my almost 3 yo were to do that, I would be sort of happy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> I would like to know if he was retractable but don't want to check myself. I used to sort of check but I now know it is better to just leave it alone completely. I stopped the gentle occasional checking when he asked me, "Mommy why are you opening my penis?" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: Try to think of it as a good thing... he is apparently now retracting naturally and normally. It is a good thing.
 

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Totally normal.<br><br>
My husband I do this <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bigeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bigeyes"> when we saw what DS can do with himself when he's nakey. It looks rather painful <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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I think it will be a pretty shocking site when ds does it. So far he has just reached the yaking it till it looks like it is gonna break and the sticking his finger in it stage <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bigeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bigeyes">:<br><br>
He did get a infection from sticking his finger in there and his hands were not clean. That was my fault tho I should have washed his hands before changing his diaper and I am careful to do so now. But he is fine now and all is well.<br><br>
If he does hurt himself once odds are good he wont do so again. They have to learn from experiance. And I also tell ds to be gentle as well when it lookes like he is going to do serious damage. But he thinks it is funny.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>gridley13</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7967107"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">he asked me, "Mommy why are you opening my penis?"</div>
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My 2-year-old once asked me to "open it!" when we were drying him off after a bath. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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my son was retractable by 2.5 and doing the exact same thing. i too was a little concerned with his "rough-play", but was assured by others that if it hurt him he wouldn't be doing it. Sound advice I thought. He never did inflict any injuries to himself so I tried not to make a big deal out of his curiousity about his body mechanics.
 

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Do tell him, though, to pull the foreskin forward again once he has retracted it. (There is a RARE chance it could get stuck if he doesn't pull it forward again.)
 

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Yup, my 2.5 year old figured out he was retractable a couple of months ago. He was totally in awe <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Jen H.</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7966899"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My three-year-old was playing with himself the other day, a benefit of the diaper-free potty training we're attempting right now. I looked over after about two minutes and he was all, um, aroused, with his foreskin pulled back quite a bit. I could see the dark purple head of his penis. I suddenly yelled his name in shock and put some pants on him right away. I was really scared he was going to hurt himself, or had already. Although he was clearly enjoying things, I was freaked out. Doesn't it seem really young to be able to pull the skin back that far? I'd never seen him do that before, and I don't think a doc or anyone has ever retracted him. *shudder*</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> sorry that freaked you out. Totally normal, my 5 year olds was pretty much fully retractable by 2 years. There is sucha wide range of normal. By 3 mine was filling himself with marbles, crayons, some smaller hot wheels cars.<br><br>
They really won't hurt themselves. If he looks like he's having a good time with it, he isn't damaging anything, YK?
 

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Don't worry. DH assures me that boys won't do any serious damage "playing", and won't do anything uncomfortable...twice.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mara</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7986486"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">By 3 mine was filling himself with marbles, crayons, some smaller hot wheels cars.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bigeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bigeyes"> Thank you for the advance notice.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mara</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7986486"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">:By 3 mine was filling himself with marbles, crayons, some smaller hot wheels cars.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I have so much to learn!
 
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