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<p>an exercise in letting go! </p>
<p>i am guilty of wanting to schedule my birth. even as i knew it was ridiculous, i wanted DS2 to be born ON his due date. my EDD was the 1st. my mom was coming into town on the night of the 30th. i was adamant abt newboy not coming early b/c then who would watch DS1? crisis. we planned hundreds of 'one if by land, two if by sea' contingency childcare plans, and stressed; and i tried not to exert myself.</p>
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<p>dec 1st: he made it! mom arrived, the bag was packed, DH had the affirmations up all over the house and had painted me two focus pieces; all was in readiness... and nothing.</p>
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<p>dec 2nd: my mom started teasing me that my belly actually looked HIGHER than it had when she came!! i have been super uncomfortable for WEEKS now, B-Hing all over the place, his head was at -1 and i was in full waddle mode. i started posting snarky FB updates about baby being a slacker, late for his first appointment ever! that night, i danced one song in the Zumba game for the wii. i figure i will dance this baby back down, LOL! my mom takes one look at me and declares that it worked. ;o)<br>
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<p>dec 3rd. the next day, i'm out running 100 errands with my mom. DS1 was too sniffly to go to the babysitter so he was at home with DH. the folks at my work were thrilled/horrified to see me, and hardly let me get out of the car. i drove. we had one more errand to run but i was feeling too uncomfortable and thought we should head home instead. it's heading toward 4-ish and things are feeling heavy.</p>
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<p>4:30 i'm calling DS1's pediatrician to ask about his sniffles. i casually mention i may be in early labor. oh, did i forget to mention i was having another baby? LOL. make arrangements with the pediatrician to come to the hospital to see the new baby after he's born. (i'd like to get released early and she has privileges at the hospital where i'll deliver).</p>
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<p>5:00 we're timing contractions and again my mom teases me: you can't say 'you may be in early labor' when your ctx are 5 minutes apart, sweetie.  DH runs me a bath.</p>
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<p>5:30 we call the midwife, i'm in the tub, DH is talking me through the only mildly uncomfortable CTX. midwife is super calm as always, listens to me talk her through where i am. i'm thinking we should wait longer than with DS1 b/c even tho the clock said go in with him, i think it was too early b/c things were moving slower than we thought. she counsels, '#2 is always different than #1, often quite surprisingly faster. why don't you get yr things together and come on down?'</p>
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<p>6:00 we are packing the bag. packing for the tundra, the outback, applesauce in squeeze packets, whole wheat crackers instant oatmeal, changes of clothes. last labor was 26 hours so we want to be PREPARED! we hover over DS1, who has fallen asleep on the couch. will he be ok? does she know where xyz is? my mom shoos us out of the door.</p>
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<p>6:30 we are at the hospital. we are inside the hospital. we are checking in at maternity. the room with the birthing tub is being cleaned so we are put in an interim room and they fit me with monitoring belts. i lay back, get checked - 4, 5 cm. i watch law & order while DH goes to move the car from where he left it to come in with me.</p>
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<p>8:00 the strategy for this birth is jokes! DH is making the goofiest jokes ever to keep me laughing, relaxed. he is awesome. i am loving him!! the CTX are getting more intense and i'm wondering when our room will be ready! i want to get comfortable, and i want to get in the tub!</p>
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<p>8:30 i am starting to vocalize, to need to be upright, to have to pay more attention. DH does the press hard on my hips thing, which is awesome. our room is ready! we head down the hall. it takes 100 years to get down there.</p>
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<p>9:00 we are in the tub room. i'm checked again: 8.5cm. oh, snap! what if i wanted to get an epidural or something? b/c this must be transition b/c i am beginning to wonder if i made a huge mistake. we get into the tub.</p>
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<p>9:30 this is <strong>definitely</strong> transition, and i am absolutely, completely, 100% certain that i have made a huge mistake. i don't know what to do. all my prep has flown out of the window. the midwife gives me some breathing to do through the contractions. i keep thinking 'the rushes' and laughing to myself @ ina may gaskin, who i love and hate at this moment. i am feeling the need to push. what the heck!?</p>
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<p>9:45 i am pushing. the midwife is awesome. when i need guidance she tells me specific, instructional things: hold your leg this way. bear down with your stomach muscles that way. when i flounder, get helpless and stupid with the pain, look for rescue? she gets mean. ruthless and completely without sympathy. she knows i can do this b/c (1) i've done it before and (2) everyone an do this. women are amazing, and she has no patience for us thinking we're not, not even for one minute. 'cmon!! do this! let's go!' lol. i love and hate her in this moment too but 99% of it is love. i know she's gonna help me get this baby born.</p>
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<p>DH is looking at me, at the water, holding my hand and looking in my eyes. he's telling me how awesome i am, how unbelievable, how magical and powerful! i want to laugh b/c i feel ridiculously ineffective and wack, but i can't laugh b/c it hurts too much. whose strategy was it to have jokes? that was obviously not a very well thought out strategy. LOL!</p>
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<p>i am pushing. i am unbelieving that the feeling is happening to me. it's so much more painful than i'd hoped, it's so much less painful than i'd feared. after the transition it's a relief to push, almost. it becomes about work, not pain. i am participating. and then - here he was!! out! and alive, and purple, and floppy, and warm, and slippery, and OURS!!</p>
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<p>and it was done.</p>
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<p>6 hours from 1st twinge to holding him in the tub, and i felt like a superhero. he's an awesome little snugglebug who looks like a garden gnome. we brought him home and DS1 totally ignored him. a day or so later he said, 'hey look, its a baby! cool!' and continues to warm to him exponentially. my mom is back home now and DH and i are just trying to figure out what it means to have 2 kids. let the challenge begin! :eek:) </p>
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<p>love and light to you mamas!!</p>
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<p>edited for stats: sadat micheaux, 9lbs 3oz, 21 inches. 9:56 pm dec 3rd. yummy!</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
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<p>Originally Posted by <strong>oyinmama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1286445/a-little-late-a-little-fast-our-snugglebug-arrived-12-3#post_16127674"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></p>
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<p>it's so much more painful than i'd hoped, it's so much less painful than i'd feared.</p>
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<p>This! I felt exactly the same way.</p>
 

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<p>First of all, I LOVE the way you wrote this!  So lighthearted and just 'you' (I'm assuming).  :) <br><br>
 </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>oyinmama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1286445/a-little-late-a-little-fast-our-snugglebug-arrived-12-3#post_16127674"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-right:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-bottom:0px solid;"></a>after the transition it's a relief to push, almost. it becomes about work, not pain. i am participating.</div>
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<p> I'm so glad to hear someone else feels the same way!  Most people think I'm nuts when I say I LOVE PUSHING.  And this is a perfect explanation!</p>
 

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<p>Congratulations on your new son and awesome birth story!</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
<p>thanks so much for reading, mamas! <img alt="joy.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/joy.gif"></p>
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<p>@noraflood - thank you!! :eek:)</p>
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<p>@andysqueen - i can only imagine the looks you get when you say you love pushing, LOL! i might have given you a bit of a jaw-drop if i'd heard you say that before two weeks ago ;o)</p>
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<p>@lovesoup - isn't it an awesome moment to realize you can actually do it?</p>
 

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<p>It was -- totally awesome. Also, just noticed our babies were <em>exactly</em> the same size :)  Everyone keeps saying he's "huge" but he's tiny to me...</p>
 
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