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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A local friend of mine is in dire need of real moral support. She's a mom of 3 kids and is married to an abusive controlling cell-phone-tracking money-withholding master gas lighter. She's someone I met years ago through a ladies church group when I was pregnant, after I'd had back surgery and she was getting ready to have a few surgeries herself. We reconnected a few months ago when we bumped into each other at the grocery store, and I was dismayed to hear she was still married to him. Anyway, I've invited her to sign up on mdc and join us here, but I wanted to give everyone a heads up because we made up her username to throw him off in case he ever tries to look her up on here.

Her username is Aussiemomof5. Let me know if anyone objects...since she hasn't been a member of mdc ever before. She still deep in the trenches dealing with terrible gas lighting and she's working on getting up the nerve to leave. She can use all the support and encouragement we can give her.
 

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So glad you invited her here.

Please, please remind her of the importance of signing out after every visit here and clearing her recent search history if she is using a computer he has access to. If she doesn't sign out after every visit, he will be able to come right into this forum and read her posts. If she doesn't clear her history he will not be able to see her posts if logged out but will be able to see that she was viewing this forum by name. All those years of moderating the Surviving Abuse forum showed me dozens of ways abusers can and will track and try to control their partners :(
 

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Agree with Shantimama. For your own protection as well, BB. Does she have another device such as an iPod or inexpensive tablet (that could only be tracked if hooked up to wifi)? If not, I recommend that, hiding it and ensuring it is password protected. Or maybe she can use a public computer and then be sure to sign out?

Reaching out is so so important. I am glad she has your support.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Yes, absolutely. It'll take a few days to get her in, most likely, and to my knowledge she only uses her cell phone. But I'll make sure she knows. She's set up a new email address he doesn't know about.
 

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Oh yes, very important also set up her settings so she does not get notifications of posts or pm's sent to her email. Should test before she posts anything personal. I was horrified to see a pm arrive in my email inbox on shared computer when still in the trenches with xh and realizing he was abusive.
 

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I totally trust that you would only let in well-vetted new members Banana =)
 

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I am fine with her coming in too. I trust in person knowledge more than just numbers of posts etc.

Make sure she has her phone well password protected.

In chrome you can use private browsing so you don't even have to clear the cache after.
 

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Unfortunately the SA forum really isn't active any more :cry: It also requires one year membership and 500 posts before admission. It used to be a very busy forum but not any more.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Right. SA forum would be helpful even just to access the recommended resources and read first-hand accounts, and I could ask the moderator to add her but I think there we really need to stick to the rules for admittance so we don't scare off anyone. At least here we have small group and enough regular participation that most everyone will see this thread. At the moment, I think we're still waiting for her to register or confirm her account. Couldn't find her to have her added.
 

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I can look for relevant links that are saved in the SA forum and share them here, they are links to external sites and do not risk anyone's information or safety in any way.

I will start a new thread here sometime over the next few days with useful links for abuse survivors or those dealing with current abuse. That way we don't have to worry about the SA forum.
 

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Looks like the page of links in the SA forum is broken. It was complied many years ago so an updated version isn't such a bad idea anyway :)
 

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SA forum is sadly not very active any more. I think she would have a greater number of participating voices here. Lurking is not allowed there, but I don't see any lists that indicate what members have current access, so I have no way of knowing who is able to view the forum currently.
 

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Thanks Shantimama. It seems that many here are abuse survivors and it could be useful to have links to excellent resources.
 
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